Tips for refusing food

I've just realized that within the next few weeks I have about 3 parties/occasions on which there will be a lot of dangerous food around which will be really hard to refuse. I don't eat meat so when people are having a get-together or something they'll usually make something special that's vegetarian so I don't go hungry, but it's usually something really high in calories involving loads of cheese (i.e pizza, cheese and onion pie etc.), I feel terrible trying to refuse it when I know they've made/bought it especially for me. Any tips for refusing politely? Even if I tell people I'm on a diet/eating healthily they don't seem to care, and say I don't even need to lose weight, what no one seems to realize is that my self esteem is on the floor and it doesn't matter to me how they perceive my body, it's my opinion that counts.

This is really getting me down, I shouldn't be dreading going to people's birthday parties just because of the food I'll have to eat. It just seems like all these things are set-backs and I'll never be able to get into that bikini with confidence this summer :(

Maybe try just taking a small piece and eating it slowly while they eat fast.  People will not even notice then.  

Why not tell them you would like to bring your own food. Say you have a good recipie and you would like to bring it to the party. That way you can make something healthy and it will just seem like you are trying to be nice.

Your diabetic, your dr said your cholesteral levels are too high and your going to die if you don't fix it. 

1) if its an appetizer, say you're saving your appetite

2) say you don't like an ingredient in the food in question

3) say you already had one/had something else

4) brush off the offering with an "Oh I'll pass" and then change the subject (ask a question that requires the other person to respond)

5) say you're "watching your trans fats/sugar/sodium"..its a lot more socially acceptable than saying you're watching your weight

6) say a simple "No thank you"! And don't offer any other explanation! If pressed, say "I don't want one, thanks though"! And be FIRM because no one can force you to eat.. they're the ones being rude if they continually press you.

I think the idea of eating whatever it is slowly and leaving the rest on your plate is a great one.  If you have the option of serving yourself, take just a small amount.  If there are salads on offer, have a generous amount of those.  Don't make a big deal of it, don't tell people you're on a diet and if anyone asks if you'd like another helping simply reply 'no thank you, I've had plenty'.

Not only will this help your figure, being more assertive will help your self-esteem.  So it's a 'win-win'.

Original Post by techraven:

Your diabetic, your dr said your cholesteral levels are too high and your going to die if you don't fix it.

Haha! I'm not sure people will believe me since I'm only 18. Thanks for all the suggestions though, hopefully I'll be able to get through these next few weeks without gaining. I'll just have to make sure I eat enough low calorie stuff to stop my tummy rumbling, it'd be a bit of a give-away that I was lying if I say "Oh no thanks, I'm stuffed!" and then my stomach gives an almighty gurgle!

If these are parties where they're serving snacks/munchies/appetizers and not full meals, eat before you go.  Then you can say, "No thanks, I just ate a big meal and I'm stuffed!" without lying. :) 

If that doesn't work, eat before you go anyway so you won't be hungry, and then when you get there, put a few things on a plate and just carry the plate around with you.  Don't eat the food, just carry it.  LOL  If need be, take stuff you don't like so you won't be tempted to eat it.  People will probably not notice that you've had the same food on the plate the whole time.  If they ask, then you can say, "Oh, I got seconds but I'm so full, and I'm debating whether I want to eat it."  Then, when people are pretty much finished eating, discreetly throw it away.

And finally, you can always just be honest and tell them you're watching your calories right now and even though it all looks so good, you're going to "behave" so you can look good in that bikini.  I also had the problems with people saying "But you hardly eat anything" (they were wrong, I just wasn't eating the unhealthy, gigantic portions that they were,) but eventually they realized they couldn't persuade me, so they gave up.

And remember, you can always adjust your calories or do a little extra exercise on the days of the parties so you can at least indulge in a piece of cake.  :)

A very good friend of mine who lost over 100 pounds called me the other day and I actually asked him the same thing. Because I had just gotten back from visiting my grandmother and aunt, who said "oh my you look good you've been losing weight!" then followed that with asking me if I wanted some cake, soda, or chips. Lol, he told me you may sound a little rude but the best way to do it is to say "Do you want me to fail?". He said it works like a charm, now I realize maybe you don't want everyone to know you are on a diet. But if you don't care then its a sure fire way to get them to stop.

all great advices....

What I say is: ... if i eat that I would not be where I am today.. now would i ~... thanks~

and leave it as that;....

one time they ordered pizza and my SIL was so nice and called me ahead of time to let me know so I stopped and picked up a salad... (this was at the beginning of my journey where I was stricter w/ myself)

so sometimes being vocal about your goals is a very good thing...

Hayleyjayde....I'm still stuck on "onion pie". What's that???? I don't think I would want that anyway. :)

I find taking a small piece, take really small bites (push it around) and offer to take other people's plate and you can pile it on top and no one will know you didn't eat all of yours.

My sister came up with a good response when she quit drinking, and it seems to work for food as well.  When someone offers you something, say "Thanks, I've had enough."  They will think you've had enough to eat right then, when in actuality you've "had enough" cheese pie for your entire lifetime!  And you're not lying.

If it's a sit-down meal, that's entirely different and this scenario probably won't be effective, but for cocktail parties and mingling this does seem to work.  Also, to avoid "empty" calories from alcohol during parties, drink a mix of sparkling water and fruit juice.  That way, you get to visit the bartender, order a 'mixed drink' and not look like a party-pooper.

 

GOOD LUCK!

I usually tell people that I'm allergic - if I eat that, I'll break out in fat all over!

I always grab something quick from Chick-fil-a in between work and class. I've found some reasonable things on their menu and you can get a side of fresh fruit, which I do.

Yesterday evening, I wanted a vanilla milkshake really bad. Oh, the temptation was so strong. I was consciously fighting with myself as I was driving up to the ordering speaker -

"Oh, it won't kill you," said Self-Defeating Me.

"But you'll be over your calorie goal for the day," said Reasonable Me.

"I really want that milkshake," said Self-Defeating Me.

And when I got up to that speaker, I ordered a chargrilled chicken sandwich, a side of fruit, and ...

a Coke Zero! Hooray for Reasonable Me!!!

I felt so good after that one small success that I found renewed energy in my weight loss effort.  I am sooooo walking at lunch today!

Each small win fuels motivation to succeed.  Don't forget to celebrate when you pass up something you know would defeat your efforts.

Blessings and best regards,
Sandy