Tips on going vegetarian when hubby wants meat?

I wondered if some of you are dealing with a vegetarian/non-vegetarian household, and if you have some helpful hints for keeping everyone happily fed?

I'm new to CC.  I have been giving vegetarianism thought for a while.  When we bought our home in May, we found our route home from work goes by a chicken processing plant.  I am hugely bothered seeing the big trucks full of tightly-caged chickens parked in their lot, day after day, in extreme heat and cold, sitting and 'waiting' to be processed.  It has pushed me over the edge.

I'm planning my steps towards vegetarianism which seems very doable but anticipate some conflicts.  My hubby is a pretty tolerant guy but he's going to want his meat and he doesn't cook.  He is aware of the animal cruelty and land-use problems involved with meat-processing but still craves meat.  While not unthinkable, I seriously don't see him becoming a vegetarian.  He can grill a burger or chicken and heat pre-formed biscuits in the oven but that's about it.  I can give him some more meat-cooking tips but he's resisted past attempts to get him to cook. 

Some things I already know I can do are:  Make a number of product choices that he probably wouldn't notice or mind. And I can get some cookware that is kept for vegetarian use only.  

I'll be discussing my thinking with him, but would welcome any of your thoughts on this matter.

Thanks in advance.

I was a vegetarian for quite a while, living in a house full of meat lovers. Growing up, I usually just got fed some pasta when everyone else was eating meat (NOT a good thing.) Now that I cook, I make a lot more of my own meals, even while still living at home and attending university.

I do eat some meat now, however, and a major point of compromise has been where the meat that I am eating comes from. With a bit of research, we found that there are quite a few local, free range chicen farms, one especially is quite convenient for us.

They  may be more expensive than what you buy in the store, but calling around and googling to see where you can buy local animal produce may be well worth it.

I understand where you are coming from.. I grew up with a meat lover for a father but my mother was less enthusiastic about it and would support my almost vegetarian eating habits.

My partner is a professional chef who absolutely loves meat. I cook for us at home and although I am capable of handling and cooking meat, I choose not to because it disgusts me so much! If and when my partner wants meat, she cooks it herself. I take care of the rest of the meal such as salad and sides.. I also will not be in the kitchen while meat is being prepared because the smell of it cooking makes me nauseous.

Is this something you could do? perhaps you could purchase cuts of meat that already are marinated so your hubby can simply pull it out and grill/sautee it for his meal?

Ever since my fiance has moved in, I've been eating so much more meat and it totally disgusts me. I've been thinking about becoming a veggie also. I told him about my plans and of course, he still wants his meat. So, of course, if we go out, he gets meat.

Usually, I make dinner since I'm unemployed so he'll eat the roast and the works while I'll have a ton of veggies that I cooked to go with it. I make a little something extra for me like a baked potato or a sweet potato since he doesn't like it. The other day, he offered to make portabella burgers since they kinda taste like meat. I think that's because I pushed it too far and tried to feed him tofu chili.

What if you tell him something like "we should eat some more veggies". You know, the whole 5-a-day rule. He might get more interested. Also, make them interesting. Grill them.....guys love that. Roast them....they're more flavorful. Just try to make it especially enjoyable so he doesn't feel like you're making him eat rabbit food.

I've been a veggie for about 20 years and I've been married to a "meatatarian" for about 10 years.  For suppers, since that is our big meal of the day, for him and the kids I plan a meat dish, and then the sides I tend to gear more towards myself.  Always include veggies - whether as a cooked side dish or simply cut them up and serve them raw.  We don't eat a lot of casserole-type dishes here.  I also enjoy making large batches of vegetarian soup and always have some ready in the fridge for myself for those meals that are mainly meat.  Also, you can whip up a batch of greek salad in no time and it can keep in the fridge for a few days also. 

daisygirl has a good idea for compromise! since you do the cooking, why not make mostly veggie meals through the week and have a couple nights where you do cook meat, organic, free-range, etc. try talking to your husband and see what he thinks, he'll probably be accommodating. i live in a household with omnivores and when i cook it'll be veggie, when others cook the meat will be an add-in so that i can still eat what's cooked. good luck!

Really most of the time guys are just plain happy to have a meal prepared for them. There a lots of veggie dishes that everyone enjoys and lots of meat replacements to help make it easier. I'd suggest just learning to make lots of yummie veg dishes, and plan at least one meal out a week where everyone can have whatever they want. You won't likely hear many complaints.

I'm a vegetarian and my husband eats meat. Most of the time at home we cook together and eat vegetarian together, but if we go out he'll eat meat, and sometimes he'll have lunch meats around. He really doesn't mind eating vegetarian 95% of the time, and he loves gardenburgers.

But it sounds like our arrangement wouldn't work so well in your case, if your husband really wants meat. Then again, if he really wants meat and you stop cooking it, he'll figure out how to make it for himself. I'd say give him the option to eat your yummy vegetarian food or cook his own meat. He might realize that he doesn't miss the meat as much as he thought he would!

I was a vegetarian for about a year. Needless to say I am now eating meat again. But I'm thinking about incorporating more meatless meals into my diet. My now husband loves meat. He could never go more than a week without it, and it was very difficult finding a happy medium for us.

At first I only cooked vegetarian meals. But that didn't last because my husband said he needed meat. So I handled it by cooking some kind of meat for him and lots of sides, like a salad, another vegetable or two, and some kind of grain. Or sometimes I would cook a veggie patty for me or a cup of cottage cheese. I even got my husband to like veggie patties (Morningstar is the best brand).  At the time I wasn't crazy about cooking meat for him. Handling meat grossed me out. But he wasn't going to cook it, so I sucked it up and did it. There has to be a compromise. If the tables were turned and he did all the cooking, would i want him to say, "sorry but I don't make vegetarian meals, you'll have to eat what I make." Does that make sense?

So for maybe 3-4 meals a week I would cook some kind of meat for him, and the rest of the meals would be vegetarian. He didn't mind that. I know it's very difficult to make the decision to become a vegetarian and harder to stick with it, especially when your spouse/sig. other loves meat. But he has to respect your views as much as you need to respect his. Good luck to the both of you!!

I eat vegetarian and my husband is a meat lover. Mostly it works out just fine. If I am making myself something that could have meat in it, I make two smaller dishes instead of one (such as lasagna). Everything is the same except that in his I include meat. Same thing for most casseroles or soups. Stir fry I make vegetarian until the end and then I pull mine out and throw in some chicken that I've cooked on the side while making the stir fry. Another nice solution for us is for him to have a roast chicken or ham in the fridge to add to the side of whatever vegetarian dish I'm serving him. As long as my vegetarian meals are delicious, he doesn't mind having his meat on the side. This is working well as long as you don't mind preparing his meat for him. And sometimes my husband just decides he wants to grill some meat or smoke some ribs and he does that for himself. Also nice for me.

Good luck!

My husband and I both eat vegetarian some of the time, but are moving that way more of the time now that our vegetarian daughter is home for a while.  Maybe a fair arrangement would be to have a  meat option  for the non-vegetarian some of the time, but some time for him to join in the vegetarian meal.  

We're big pasta/pizza lovers, and enjoy experimenting with pizzas that have no cheese or meal...roasted garlic and tomato sauce + favorite vegetables. We also like hearty vegetarian chili, casseroles, etc.  with a lot of flavor and texture. We really don't even notice that there is no meat.  

I'm sorry, but if you don't want to cook meat, there is absolutely no reason that you should.  If you husband refused to make you vegetarian meals, I assume you would cook for yourself, because you are GROWN UP AND THAT'S WHAT GROWN UPS DO!!!!  Sorry for yelling, but a husband that cannot cook for himself is basically worthless.  You don't have to get into the kitchen for him.  Your place is not the kitchen unless you want it to be.  Sorry, but I am disgusted by anyone who would put aside their morals or taste or whatever reason they have for being vegetarian just because their hubby is a big baby.

Having said that, I am vegan (hence being militant, I guess), and my hubby is omnivore.  He was skeptical of all my hippy food when we began our courtship, but he has at least tried everything I make, and he usually likes it.  When it comes right down to it, good tasting food is good tasting food, meat or no.  So just learn to make good tasting veggie food and tell your husband to get over it or cook for himself.

My husband loves tofu salad (like egg salad, but with tofu), anything made by morningstar or garden burger - especially the riblets, he loves tofurky, tofu scramble, vegan french toast, tempeh "cheese"steaks, burgers and meat balls made with "gimme lean," veggie chili, veggie nachos...there are a million and one veggie options that are palatable to any omnivore with a half-open mind.  And when I just want a big ol' head of broccoli and he wants meat, he makes it himself. 

I'm sorry if any of this sounded rude, I just have a hard time believing that your husband would make you cook meat for him if he knew you didn't want to.  I'm sure he doesn't want to put you out like that and there is no reason that you can't have a "compromise" that DOESN'T involve you cooking meat.  It's not that hard to each make your own meal...we do it about 3 times a week, and if all he had to do was cook a piece of chicken and throw it on top of what you've already made, even easier.

When I make dinner I tend to let him make his meat and then I fix vegetables or sides that I can eat along with some form of vegetarian protein like a boca, or whatever.  We eat a lot of veggies and meatless meals.  I try and fix meatless meals that are hearty and flavorful so he doesn't feel like he's missing out on meat like veggie chili made with beans and soy crumbles or falafel sandwiches served with roasted potatoes, eggplant parm, or black bean and rice enchilladas. You can do this, it just takes a little creativity and planning!

hey, i am vegan and my husband isnt at all, i just cook something with meat once every two weeks or so, its a lot easier then you think so you should be nike - - just do it :)

Pumpkin314,

You didn't sound rude.  Hubby is pretty worthless cooking but he's great at cracking a zillion nuts or peeling taters, stuff like that.  He probably wouldn't make me cook for him if I didn't want to but he sure wouldn't eat as good!  I wasn't trying to be down on him or me, just looking for tips that make it more convenient for both because I figured others were in that boat.  I look forward to exploring all the yummy things besides meat to eat.  Thanks for everybody's input.

There are some meals where the meat can be the side dish.  For instance, if you make spaghetti marinara you can add ground meat to part of the sauce and serve it on the side.  Or you can buy a meat sauce and heat it so you don't have to actually handle the meat.  That's the only tip I can think of right now, that hasn't already been suggested. 

I've been vegetarian for 14 years now, and my children and husband are all dedicated omnivores.  I give them meat about 5 nights a week and it has become a game of mine to challenge them with new vegetarian meals on the other two nights.   I don't imagine that you are looking for tips on how to feed them as vegetarians, but rather on how to feed yourself.  Here's what I do:

-I eat eggs, so I keep a ziploc bag of hard-boiled eggs (yolks removed for me) in the fridge.  That way I can grab and go for breakfasts and lunches.  I probably do this 2-3x week.

-Simplify the meat meals.  What I mean is, steer clear of casseroles that call for meat, unless you are willing to make two.  Shepherd's Pie is great with veggie crumbles, so when the family has that, I make myself a smaller dish.  Thankfully, the veggie crumbles don't need to be browned, so that saves a dish to wash.  A salad, baked potato and grilled meat is a great meal for the family.  A baked potato with cottage cheese on top and a salad is a great meal for you.  Stock up on meats that can be marinated and grilled to make these more interesting for them.  I buy steak, chicken and pork chops in bulk, then I drop the correct quantities into ziploc freezer bags and pour the marinade over.  These then go in the freezer and make fabulous, easy meat dinners which allows me to focus on the side dishes (my main course). 

-Look for recipes that call for meat as a condiment.  Pumpkin pasta toss is really yummy and when I use quinoa pasta is very good for me.  My family likes crumbled sausage on theirs.  Bacon, sausage, keilbasa...these should all be consumed in smaller quantity, anyway, so they "finish" a meal nicely.  Add them to salads, pastas, soups, etc.  Your family's health with improve as they begin to eat more vegetables, as well. (be sure to focus on the fact that they may be eating MORE vegetables, NOT LESS meat.- no one likes to feel duped.)

-Feed yourself well.  Try interesting new fruits vegetables and keep your diet varied.  Learn to cook them in different ways.  There has got to be at least half a dozen ways to cook and serve a new vegetable.  Make it your goal to learn them all before you rule it out of your diet for good.  Except breadfruit.  That stuff is just gross. 

-Keep a pot of bean or lentil soup in the fridge.  Not only will it make lunches easier for yourself, but on those nights when you find yourself sitting down to a fabulous Beef Burgundy that you spent all day slaving over, you'll have something yummy to fall back on when you realize you forgot to feed yourself.

-Learn your proteins.  Not just cottage cheese, greek yogurt and eggs, either.  Lentils and other beans, nuts, grains and the soybean family.  Tempeh is really good when you learn how to cook it.  As is tofu.  With the addition of these proteins to your own diet, you'll learn how to keep two saute pans going.  One with meat, one with tempeh.  And you'll learn how to marinate them and throw them onto the grill next to the steaks.

-Ignore the negativity.  At first, your family might turn their noses up at the unfamiliar stuff that winds up on your dinner plate.  Don't use it as an opportunity to condemn their meat-based meal, or join in the fun-poking.  Both are a losing game.  Shrug and say you are enjoying the learning experience, or lick your lips in response and quickly change the subject.  They'll soon get the hint that your diet is not up for their discussion.

-Recruit a friend (which you've already done, here!).  It helps to have someone who can share recipe suggestions, chat about new proteins you are discovering and point you toward resources like cookbooks and forums.

Lisa

I'm right in line with Lisa!  I'm a vegetarian and my husband is a very dedicated meat eater and anit-vegetable eater. LOL  but we love eachother and make it work.  I try my best to make us meals where we can both eat the same thing but he usually adds meat and I add veggies - ie...pasta, pizza, soups, salads, tacos (you get the picture).  It is sometimes a little trying and yes there are nights when we eat completely different meals because we're in a hurry or I don't feel like being creative which means he has a sandwich or chicken nuggets and I eat eggs or some form of leftovers.    Anyways - it will work out...as long as everyone is happy and healthy, it's all that matters.

bzmome has wonderful ideas that i too incorporated into a large family of omnivores (husband and 5 kids) in which i was the only vegetarian. in addition to her great suggestions, i found it helpful to make my veggie meals the main course and serve meat as the side dish at most - but not all - of the meals (i.e. sauteed boneless chicken breasts, thinly sliced steak, large meatballs, hotdogs and beans alongside a lentil stew or grilled or sauteed tofu and vegetables over a bed of brown rice). I included a salad and potatoes at meals, particularly if they thought that the meatless meal would not be filling.

now that the children are all grown up & living on their own, they appreciate meatless meals; my husband now eats & enjoys mostly vegetarian. and now, whenever they cook for a family get-together, they always make sure to prepare foods that I can eat and will find satisfying.

Sounds like a lot of us veg ladies live withe meat eaters!

I find that casseroles really work when trying to make 2 seperate meals without taking a lot of time.  I will make a casserole with some kind of starch, some kind of vegetable and some kind of sauce.  Then for my man I will sprinkle in some diced chicken.  I guess it depends on if you are willing to cook/buy that chicken or not! 

But at least half the time I don't even add meat and he doesn't seem to mind that it is missing.  I figure between the frozen dinners I buy him and us going out to eat, he has plenty of opportunities for meat consumption :)

Hi Judikitti,

Your post is interesting to me, and I'll respond with some ideas. First off, though, I'm an omnivore, a husband, a dad, and I do most of the cooking at home (I'd be happy to do it all, but my wife likes to cook as well). I love meat and we eat meat with most of our meals, but it could be reduced and we’d eat well.

So my suggestions:

1. The reason you stated is that you wanted to become a vegetarian are mostly a reaction to seeing factory farms. I agree. One thing you could do is eat less meat and buy from small local farms. We get most (not all) of our meat that way. This way you feel better about the meat you cook and you husband likes it too because it tastes better. It is more expensive, so you buy less. In other words, eat less meat (for now), but eat better meat. You can always work to reduce the size of meat as the weeks go on.

2. We often have meat as a component (or a topping), rather than the main course. A favourite in our house is pasta with toppings. I cook linguini and toss with olive oil and peas, and then set out small bowls of artichokes, 2 kinds of cheese, maybe garbanzo beans, roasted tomatoes and maybe grilled ham, or chicken, or beef, or good canned tuna. That way, the kids can avoid the stuff they hate, I can eat it all, and when we have vegetarians over (which happens a lot) they avoid the meat. It is just as easy to cook as the whole pasta meal, you just don’t combine it.

3. We do the same thing with stir-fry. Do like the Chinese cooks do: cook each ingredient separately in the Wok. Then we sit down to a bowl of rice and small dishes of meat, a mushrooms, tofu, eggs, peas, shrimps, what ever. Each person adds what they want and I even make the sauce on the side (one of my kids love sauce the other hates it).

4. We do the same with home-made pizza, tacos, and even omelets (I buy farms eggs and love eggs for dinner). I suppose you could even make vegetarian chili this way and have toppings like cheese, onions, and grilled steak. I might try that tomorrow night.

5. An advantage to this approach is that you can use up a small piece of left over meat (or a small container of peas, or one egg, etc.) A disadvantage is you end up washing more little bowls, but it is more fun at the table.

6. Also, you can encourage your husband to grill up three big humanely-raised steaks and 3 chicken breasts on Sunday, and use them for the next 5 meals in a variety of ways. That way, he cooks his meat (one day a week) and you just slice it and add it when you prepare the meal. Everyone is happy!

7. I personally would avoid “meat substitutes” that look and taste like meat (fake bacon, tofu dogs, etc). I think they taste horrible they have additional chemicals, are processed and full of sodium, and probably will just turn your husband off of vegetarian eating.

Good luck and happy eating

John Paul