Tired of feeling controlled by food

I am tired of this power food has over me. I think I've finally realized I'm a binge eater. I don't always purge but sometimes...after I've really stuffed it in and am disgusted with myself. But more often than not I will go from extreme discipline to extreme bingeing.

I've tried so many things, so many ways to stop. I know when I exercise I don't have these problems as much--probably because I'm generally more happy with exercise. But it's been this way as long as I can remember, I always fall back into the old patters (including eating to make myself feel better, which then makes me feel worse...so I eat more to make myself feel better, which makes me feel worse.... And so on.) Vicious cycle.

There doesn't feel like a minute in the day when I'm not thinking about food--whether I'm counting calories, just watching what I eat, or eating everything in sight. I think about what I just ate, what I'm going to eat, what I want to eat, what I eat instead, what I should eat later, and what I really end up eating.

I want to stop this. Want to break this. How do I get it under control? How can I approach food normally and get out from under it's hold? Someone please....

What you're describing is disordered eating and, for that reason, you should make an appointment with a doctor and ask if you can be referred to an expert in the field.

Often people in that behaviour pattern start out by trying to lose weight, eating too little and then eating too much because they're starving.   Or the person is underweight and trying to stay that way with an inadequate diet.   Or the person's diet is very poor nutritionally meaning they have to eat a lot to get any kind of nourishment. So a simple way to break the 'starve/binge' cycle is to start eating regular meals and getting the right level of nutrition and energy.... sometimes it's called 'mechanical eating'. 

With others the bingeing is tied more to their state of mind.  Some drive too fast when they're in a bad mood, others drink too much....  I'm not fond of the term 'emotional eating' but that's how it gets classified.   There are talking therapies that can try to untangle food as the response to problems.

ohh you're for sure not alone. I have the same problem!!!

What I tend to do is plan every meal and snack the day before (I weigh all my food so it takes a while to go from calories to grams etc) not only that but it takes up alot of my time.

I do crave sweets all the time, I think about what im going to eat, when im going to eat it, i count down the minutes until im able to eat my next snack!!

I eat roughly 1200 calories a day, breakfast lunch and dinner are 200 calories each, which leaves me with 600 calories for snacks. I eat about 6-7 snacks a day so I eat pretty often which keeps me happy! try laying out what your going to eat (in moderation)

i eat every 1-2 hours, i drink lots of water (which helps alot) or tea since it has flavour and keeps me satisfied for longer.

you just have to think about what you want more

that 15 seconds that it takes to eat the food? or the 24 hours of every day 7 days of every week to feel and look the way you want?

you have to have control over the food, dont let the food have control over you... just keep saying NO to your self, sooner or later all the cravings go away!!

its helped me a ton, try it :)

To stop these feelings the start point is to stop the behaviors. Purging even sometimes and binging  is an ed and there are reasons behind why you do this.They come with a lot of complications. For most people when they undereat and for the majority 1200 is undereating even for a weight loss diet you will be focused on food because your body and mind is screaming for food. You need a balanced meal plan with enough calories and a healthy weight so you can focus on why you use food in a negative way. What is your calorie level and goals? Are you underweight,maintaining,overweight? If you are at a healthy weight can you have a healthy workout plan but no extremes if you feel this helps you to establish a better plan? If underweight I don't think it is good but healhy outlets like yoga or light walking may help you to feel more proactive.

The funny thing is... I really think I eat healthfully. I pride myself on checking labels. Staying away from partially hydrogenated and high-fructose items. Buying organic, whole foods, raw nuts, etc. Eating smaller meals every few hours and so on. But somehow I still fail. Somehow I still get into these gorging routines. Stuffing my mouth to make myself feel better about something...or because I'm stressed about something...or worrying about something...or bored...or....?

And then when there is any kind of sweet around--dark chocolate, cake, ice cream, brownies, cookies, bread I can put something sweet on--even things I don't really like like white chocolate, milk chocolate and other not so pleasant but still sweet things--I lose all control. And once I start, I cannot stop.

It's the same with meals. They say you should eat your biggest meal in the morning. But if I eat a large meal to begin the day with, all I want to do is continue the day with large meals--to continue that feeling.

I so want to be out of this. I want to be fit and healthy, I want to eat to live not live to eat, to feel sexy and finally be comfortable in my own skin. To get rid of the guilt, the shame, the secrets. I don't want to always be 15 pounds overweight.

I tried talking to my family about it once but they all just kind of laughed it off. Because I don't look like I have a problem. 15 pounds isn't really that much. And "that's not really a disorder." But I'm not so sure.

With disordered eating like this there are normally always underlying causes other than just "wanting to be skinny". I suggest you pay attention to the mood your in when binge eating is triggered, and maybe keep a mood/food diary.

Any good Doctor should be able to recommend you to a Psychologist specializing in disordered eating. If you've been keeping up the binge/purge cycles for twice a week for more than 3 months it sounds like you may have bulimia nervosa, and should seek help immediately. Doctors can offer you counselling / cognitive behaviour therapy or maybe antidepressants which should help a lot.

Good luck!

Original Post by cs17:

ohh you're for sure not alone. I have the same problem!!!

What I tend to do is plan every meal and snack the day before (I weigh all my food so it takes a while to go from calories to grams etc) not only that but it takes up alot of my time.

I do crave sweets all the time, I think about what im going to eat, when im going to eat it, i count down the minutes until im able to eat my next snack!!

I eat roughly 1200 calories a day, breakfast lunch and dinner are 200 calories each, which leaves me with 600 calories for snacks. I eat about 6-7 snacks a day so I eat pretty often which keeps me happy! try laying out what your going to eat (in moderation)

i eat every 1-2 hours, i drink lots of water (which helps alot) or tea since it has flavour and keeps me satisfied for longer.

you just have to think about what you want more

that 15 seconds that it takes to eat the food? or the 24 hours of every day 7 days of every week to feel and look the way you want?

you have to have control over the food, dont let the food have control over you... just keep saying NO to your self, sooner or later all the cravings go away!!

its helped me a ton, try it :)

cs17 - please think before you post. You are encouraging disordered eating behaviour.

fittygirl - I have been where you have been. I haven't really got any new ideas - others have posted some sound advice. Even if it hasn't been successful so far, stick to eating regular healthy meals. Try eating at maintenance for a while instead of weight loss, so that you feel fuller and are less likely to binge. Also speak to your doctor, ask him/her about antidepressants and consider therapy or an out-patient programme.

I'm sorry, first of all I don't think that CS17 was promoting eating disorders, rather than letting everyone who feels this way that they are not alone, as well as providing suggestions as to how to help this.

I feel this way too, I started a very restrictive diet in June of last year, i did really good and lost weight but recently I've just had it and seem to binge when I have "cheat days" Its like i was not this obsessed with food until i started dieting.

I too have found little ways to help such as drinking lots of tea and water throughout the day to help with hunger or cravings. Brushing your teeth is also a huge help.  I've also heard that there are different parts of your brain, and i'm sure i'm going to explain this wrong, but it takes 90 seconds for a thought to get to the "logical" part of your brain. So with cravings see if you can wait 90 seconds before you give in and see if you in fact still want what you were craving..

I recommend Judith Beck's Diet for Life book.  It really addresses the psychology of overeating.