Tired of being poor etc.

I don't want this to be a complaining marathon. I get very sad when I think that many people in the world don't have clean drinking water. If I am just being a whiner then someone can gently kick my butt.

All that said...I'm tired of struggling financially. Being broke makes every little thing hard. I have been married for 4 months to a good man, it's just that both of us have not been financially prosperous or financially intelligent or financially lucky or whatever. We had to sell our only car recently because we couldn't afford payments. Can I just say not having a car is lame, especially when you live in a place where it rains 75 percent of the year and as far as the public transit system, let's just say it's no New York City. 

I have lived in apartments since I was 7 years old. I would like to live in a house someday, but it seems impossible right now. I am a recent college graduate also, with a bachelors in graphic design. I have faced a lot of rejection in the job market since getting my degree 7 months ago. I have held two temp jobs over the past 7 months, but I've spent a good 4 of those seven months sitting at home in my sweat pants. I don't know if I will change my mind, but right now I hold the opinion that for me, and a lot of people, college is a waste. I'm 40,000 dollars in debt with student loans and the only good my college degree could do as far as I'm concerned is help me pay off this stupid debt which who knows if I ever will. I actually regret going to college and I hate that people look down on those who haven't gone to college and pressure them to do so. 

*deep breath* What doesn't help any is my panic disorder that I've battled over the years. I feel self conscious about it because I'm afraid people don't  think it's real or understand it. All I know is it effects my ability to do normal everyday things. 

I'm just praying and asking for the ability to be more thankful. I hope things can work out one day so that everything doesn't have to be a struggle.

Thanks for stopping by...

Catherine, I know the feeling...except about the rain :) ahh, the joys of the east side.  I just graduated in july, and have been working a temp job to "try" to make ends meet. 

I feel the same about college feeling like a waste.  Every interview that I've gone to has ended with "we need somebody with experience".  How am I supposed to get experience if NO ONE WILL HIRE ME??  Every job I look at that doesn't want experience also doesn't want the degree, and I swear they look at my resume and think "she's going to want to much money" and so they never call.

Remember to be thankful for your husband, and the time you have to spend with him.  And i wish you much success in the future.  If you're willing to move, I've heard there are some good graphic design jobs over here...the cost of living is less and we have 300 days of sunshine a year :)

Just wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you. =(

-From an art-major with anxiety and panic disorder. 

You're just starting out and that is very hard.  My husband and I lived on Mac&Cheese and hot dogs for almost a year.  We were so poor we rarely had heat, hot water, and we didn't have a car for a few years. 

Panic disorder is very real and under the circumstances, I am sure you are fighting a tougher battle.  It's good to get it out and express you concerns. 

Someone will hire you.  You will have a job in your field and things will get better.  It will take some time, but it will work.  Have faith.

I know you can get a deferral on your student loan.  You just need to work with your creditor.  I think they can derfer you for a year or at least taylor your payments to your income.  They understand and usually don't set you up for failure.  You just have to work with them.

Good luck to you, just know that it will get better.

catherine:  The young ppl in my family faced the same thing as you.  One, with a degree is still struggling, job wise and finally moved away, hoping a bigger city means more opportunities.

In the bigger scheme of things, you're still young.  It will happen for you.  It takes time. 

I've been out of work since spring..............thank goodness for the computer to keep my mind busy.  And, you have what is most important, "a good man". 

Thank you for your encouraging words.

Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one going through something hard. It's nice to know others understand.  

Most of us have been there or are there now. You can do it, as long as you keep going.  As a graphic designer you can do work from home, for part-time cash while you look for a job. You can also do work to create a portfolio for yourself.

Hell offer your experience to mom and pop businesses in your area for free or nominal amounts just to get more experience.

Whatever you do, it will work out as long as you guys stick it out together and keep trying to move forward. 

Big hug to you. I have a few random thoughts:

1) Have you tried linkedin.com yet? Check it out. Good place to network and maybe find a job. Graphic design is a great field to be in - you just need a break. Hang in there!

2) Renting vs owning: right now is a fabulous time to rent, not own. You're actually probably lucky, believe it or not!! Buying right now, with the market and the economy the way it is... well, I would tell anyone to hold off awhile longer and just rent.

3) Suzie Orzman. Are you familiar with her? Google her, she has a column on yahoo (I think that's where it is?) and she's written several books about how to manage money and pay down debt.

4) If money is not coming in, can you downsize at all? Or are you already as downsized as far as you can possibly go? As I said, rents (in general) are highly competitive right now... if you have been in the same apt for awhile, it may pay off BIGtime to start shopping around. yes, you'd have to move... but if you could save a couple hundred $ on the rent, enough to lease a car and have some breathing room, it would be worth it. This is the other value of renting: you are in the position to comparison shop and move fairly often to save $.

I know how tough it is to be financially strapped, once I was laid off for 9 months and I was a single mom of two children. It was very tough. At times it seemed totally hopeless. One of the best bits of advice I got was from my dad, he recommended I do something joyful every day. It had to be free, of course <grin>... I chose to go running. And I got skinny in the process too. :-)

Get out of the sweats. Force yourself to get dressed every day (RAIN or shine) and get out of the house, even if it's just for an hour. Try www.meetup.com... join a group so you have a reason to get out and about. The more connections you make, the more likely you'll land a job. And if not, at least you will feel less socially isolated... less depressed.

One last thought: any consideration to get a retail job or waitress or something - to bring in a bit of extra cash and get you out of the house? Maybe just for the xmas season, at least? It may not pad your resume, but it would still be good for you. (Unless you're on unemployment, because then stupidly and ridiculously you can't take such a job... sigh... )

Awww, thanks Jenmc. I just got finished posting my updated resume to Monster.com inspired by a private message someone just sent me. I have been applying a lot through craigslist. 

I have heard of linkedin.com. I guess I just need to invest some time and effort making a profile on it if it really is a decent resource. I do just need a break. I wish I was a better social networker but it's totally unnatural for me plus the more down I feel, the more isolated I tend to become. Obviously I feel okay socializing online, so I may just give it a try. 

As for renting vs. owning, I guess it's a good way to look at the glass half full. However I understand why people only live in apartments because they have no other choice...noisy, trashy, intoxicated neighbors, a mixture of feces and mold smell permeating the apartment hallway, a disgusting laundry room (plus the joy of hunting for quarters),  30 seconds of hot water in the shower and everything is old and breaks...I'll stop now.

I am somewhat familiar with Suzy Orman. From what I understand you have to have something to work with to apply her principles. I think she helps people who are using their resources poorly, not people who have no resources. When we have something to work with, I do think she is a wise person to listen to in the financial department.

As for downsizing, my husband and I would basically have to stop eating to downsize. As far as I know, it's pretty bare bones for us. We need a car and don't have one. He does have an income, and I bet there's someway we could save a little even though it doesn't seem like it. Stupidly, we're on seperate cell phone service providers because I would have to pay 200 dollars to get out of my contract before it expires. 

We've talked about moving, we just feel trapped because between first and last mounth's rent/ the deposit and moving expenses for 2 peolple who don't own a vehicle,  we'd have to save up for a very long time to move. I am not opposed to moving to a different part of the country either, I just feel totally trapped because we have no money to do it. 

You are right about getting out of the house. I do want to do something, I just feel so unmotivated...I will look for a group. 

{ By the way you sound like you have a nice dad...my dad calls me and says "What's wrong with you? How come everyone but you can get a job?!" In an Hungarian accent. No, I'm not kidding. Pretty awesome. }

As for the waitressing/ sales ETC. jobs, I have a lot of experience in those jobs, this is true. Although, and I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses but this is true; my panic disorder makes it so that I can't really do customer service type jobs anymore. Incidentally I have been banned from working at Starbucks since age 17 when I was fired from there. I worked as a sales person for Nordstrom for several months too and they fired me for not selling enough. I would do stock work or maybe even cleaning hotel rooms. Point being, my panic disorder is a disability for me right now. I have started seeing a counselor at the YWCA recently though. It is so hard being in a city where the sun rarely shines too. It has a seriously oppressive sort of effect on my spirit. I hate being so messed up and I hope things get better.

It's hard to imagine how and when things will get better but I have to have faith that there will be a way. Thanks for the advice...I really listen and it helps to get ideas.

 

hey, I just read your letter and all the others that have replied. let me tell you bout some of my experience and successes.

20 yrs ago, I married, we lived on 200.00 a week. $40.00 on gro, we eat alot of pinto beans, and corn bread :) I went back to college got a degree in Business.

I applied for everything in monster, AJC, anything on the internet. w/ no success, now the good part. most of the jobs are not posted in the paper. get your resume, any graphs you have, make a list of places you would like to work for. dress for an interview (most of the time you are interviewed on the spot) the best day to go is WEDNESDAY! i'll explain. monday is the worse day, coming back off the weekend. Tuesday they realize the person has quit, wednesday you walk in w/ a big smile, and be very confident, ask them if they have any job openings( you may be talking to the person who hires so be nice)

if they say they are not hiring, ask to leave your resume, name of the person who hires,  write the place down. check back w/ that person once a week. they will see that you are serious. it has worked for me, my daughter and my friends. be very persistant.

internet jobs gets thousands resume a day, they don't ever go through all of them.

this summer, all my daughters friends couldn't find a job, my daughter went on a wednesday, dressed for an inteview (casual dressing) was interviewed and got the job.

I hope this helps you, the key is persistant. Good luck. let us know how it goes.

you asked for the ability to be more thankfull - well here my thoughts on that one;

 

 

• You was able to study!&nb sp;You managed High School&nbs p;obviously and got a pla ce in a college, you  ;was able to ATTEND the&n bsp;college! How great is  ;that?!

 

• You found love :)

 

• You had a car and yo u own a lisence

 

• You have a home

 

just tell ya that things& nbsp;sometimes and you'll see& nbsp;it makes things less  ;grey

best wishes & a *hug*

Kitty 

(who is schizophrenic and  ;has - beside the love&nb sp;(what is great) nothing&nbs p;of the points above)

 

Don't think you need to be lucky when it comes to finances.  Cut back on 'unneeded luxeries', have an aggressive budget where saving money is your goal.

It takes time so do not compare yourself to others.

I am 27 and heading back to university next year and will be there until I am in my 30s, which should be interesting.  But I am heading in the direction I want and happy with what I have and that is all that matters.

Oh, I know what you mean about Hungarian family members putting preassure on you.  But you have to love the accent!

Just keep at it and things will fall into place.

It's been 13 years since I got my degree in graphic design.  The job market can be a real wake-up call.  Upon graduation, I found that most of the places I interviewed wanted to give me UNPAID internships.  I did a few jobs, but found out that I really didn't care for advertising work all that much, so I picked up and moved back to Japan with my new wife in 1995.  After a coupe of years teaching English and Japanese study, I came back to the states and got a job as a translator, which I still do today (now back in Japan - again.)

I guess my point is that you can't be too rigid about what you want to do for a career - if there is an opportunity in another job that you find interesting - take it.  And despite what a lot of people say about graphic design being a "great career", from what I've seen, it is a rather low-pay, high-intensity job and very competitive.  Hopefully your job training included web design, since that seems to be where a lot of demand is now.

Oh, and I still have 17K to go on my student loans and credit is shot - the US economy leaves much to be desired these days - you're either loaded, or your broke - no more in-between.  Just be glad you don't live in San Francisco - the sky-high cost of living there is what ruined us.  There are worse places to be than Portland.

Seriously, be really open to anything you might have an aptitude for - don't lock yourself into thinking you can only do this or that.  IN the next couple of years, things are only going to get tougher for people who work for a living, and jobs with living wages will be hard to come by - latch on to one you like, and if possible, try to think of a way to parlay it into something where you can be your own boss.  I have a full-time gig, but my freelance translation work is where I make my gravy.

Good luck! 

I always heard the same story from my parents growing up. The mac and cheese post made me think of it. They lived on elbow mac and boxed cheese and every now and then they had hotdogs. This went on for a few yrs of struggling just trying to get by. My mom was pregnant with my older brother the last stent of it. As luck would have it for them my dad finally landed a good job with good pay.

They always told me if they wouldnt of went through this hardship they wouldnt appreciated all the good things they really had in their life.

Once you land that good job you are going to feel like a million bucks because you did it all by yourself and you didnt have it handed to you like so many ppl do in this world. Great satisfaction can only come from that and a sense of pride and who you are and what you struggled to become.

Someday you might be telling your lil rugrats about the bad times and looking back thinking WOW I really did come a long ways to get to where I am.

Good Luck Hang in there

*angie*

Law of Attraction (positive thinking).  I don't know much about this, but know ppl who talk about it a lot.

After being off work for a couple of yrs, I was going to yet another interview and someone said to visualize myself going there to work everyday.  On the way, drinking coffee in the car, I really did feel like I was going to work, and felt very secure.  Yes, I got the job.  Also, I did a lot of praying.

Felling your pain. Recently graduated with honors and such did a nice internship for the state, got really far in interviews for a few full time jobs then nothing. Makes you question the value of your degree and the years of hard work you put in to get it. What’s the point of being able to correctly identify every tree in the forest with or without leaves if you’re only going to make minimum wage flipping burgers. 

The pressures of family can get to you after awhile. Wanting to know why you don’t have a job, giving you the told you so about changing your major nit picking choices that were never theirs to begin with. It’s hard to cope. Just keep on trying we will find work.

 

I am really going to try harder despite being discouraged, and thanks for pieces of helpful advice.

What gets me though is all the folks from a generation ago have the mac & cheese story with a happy ending...these days it seems things are different. Making a basic living seems so impossible for some (my husband and I). Others seem to get lucky...even if it's not luck it seems like it. As udokier says, it seems you're either very poor or very rich these days (in the US). 

I hope I can someday look back on these struggling days from the passenger seat of our Range Rover and laugh while we're pulling into the garage of our large house. I am sick of all this character building. It's no charming Hollywood movie when it's your life.

I just think maybe this is where God wants me. I hope it's not forever but I suppose things could be worse. Like I said, people lack clean drinking water in other parts of the world. But then why did I get a college degree? Why do we live in a country where opportunity is supposed to be for those who seek it? I am seeking it! And getting slapped down. Is it because I came from poverty? Sometimes I feel coming from abuse and poverty also gives you an automatic disadvantage in life. I don't want to believe that though because it's a victim attitude, although I think a part of it is reality. 

I picture myself getting pregnant at some point, hopefully before I'm 85...although the way things are going it looks like a life of food stamps, dragging a stroller onto a crowded city bus and trying to resist using alcohol to cope with each day. 

I probably will end up taking a job as a hotel house cleaner or something like that. Positive thoughts and prayers might just be a good idea, Ohio 45. It is a real fight though to stay positive. Sometimes it feels like being in denial to be positive, no?

I'm all for positive thinking and prayer, and I hope Catherine makes use of those, but the implication that the only reason everybody isn't rolling in money is that they don't use "the secret" and are just too negative, is smug and borders on offensive.  It is a genuinely tough job market for those without MBAs or professional degrees, and it will take a lot more than just positive thinking and visualizing success to find a GOOD job.

Before turning to antidepressants (and how is she supposed to afford those anyway?) please do what you can to incorporate 30 minutes of good vigorous cardiovascular exercise into your daily routine.  It will do wonders for your mood, and even help you sleep better.

Have you contacted your school for job placement assistance?  Most of those professional schools offer it.  Again, flexibility is key - and if work doesn't turn up soon, maybe consider a job at Kinkos - I know it may seem like a drag, but if you stay on a while then tell them that you'd like to get into a management training program, you could get into a pretty good position.  I know a LOT of graphic design people that ended up working at Kinkos - some to tide them over until they found the work they liked, but others ended up making a career of it.

Again, good luck - You will need to bring a positive attitude to any interview, but please don't let anyone make you feel like your plight is your fault for being negative or invalidate what you're going through.  Look on the bright side - at least you don't have kids yet. 

Catherinerich, yeah, it sounds like you have very little room to downsize!

Okay the secret to finances is either to downsize, or to bring in more money. You can't downsize, so you need to bring in more money. The hotel cleaning sounds like a good plan. I know it seems like a step back for you, but trust me on this, it will be good to have the financial breathing room AND to simply get yourself out of the house on a daily basis.

Another strategy to consider: can you take in a roommate, to help with the bills? Yeah, I know, probably a sucky idea to contemplate, but desparate times make for desparate measures.

The cell phone - do you also have a landline? If so, get rid of it and save some money there.

Panic disorder: I can relate. I'm bipolar. I lost my job the Friday before 9/11. I was calling in my unemployment on 9/11, and the woman on the other end of the line asked me to turn on my t.v. and tell her what was going on in NY. Needless to say, the anxiety of that event sent my mood all whacky for months. Not to mention, the job market dried right up instantly.

Taking care of yourself and your mental health is the number one priority. If you keep slipping farther into depression, it'll be harder and harder to get a job, even if you had interviews, your confidence may be too low to win the offer. So protect your mental health and your confidence.

You do this by keeping a regular daily schedule. As I said, get up out of bed, change out of those sweats, put on something decent, and have a ritual. Maybe you work on the job search for two hours. Then go exercise. Maybe then you take a long walk out and about. Make time for your social connections and don't isolate yourself. Being around loving, supportive people is very important.

As for the job hunt, what I did was force myself to spend at least two hours a day on it. Even when there wasn't any ads to answer. I would research potential companies. Investigate temp agencies and recruiters. And send emails to everyone I knew who could possibly help me find a job. In my case, I did have connections from previous jobs - I'd invite them out to lunch. (They'd inevitably insist on paying too, since I was out of work.) In your case, can you network with fellow grads? Anyone and everyone is fair game... relatives? Parents of fellow grads? Neighbors? Professors? People you went to high school with?  Anyone. They may know someone that knows someone that knows someone that is hiring.

Another trick is to ask for an "informational interview." They needn't be hiring. Just go in and talk to people in your field, ask them what it is like to work there, ask for advice on how to get your foot in the door. This really does work! It also helps you practice your interview skills in a low-key, nonpressured way.

And always end any conversation with: "Is there anyone else you know that might possibly be of help to me in my search?" You'd be surprised how much people do want to help and network. Because if I helped you, some day you might be in the position to help me.

I did eventually take on consulting work - by agreement, they postponed paying me until after my unemployment ran out. As far as unemployment office was concerned, I was working "on spec" only. The project took only a few hours a week, but kept my brain busy and made me feel productive and connected. The consulting work eventually led to a job offer, when the economy picked back up. So do consider working in graphic design for free. Try charitable organizations and offer your services. Builds up your portfolio and helps you get your name out.

Agree with the person who suggested you needn't only focus on graphic design. Try the title "Marketing Coordinator" or "Marketing Specialist." (I work in marketing myself - the graphic design background comes in handy in this field).

Since you're in a city, check out the local art scene. Attend gallery openings and meet and mingle. You never know...

Catherinerich, first let me say that i know nothing about graphic design so not sure about where to send you.  What about volunteering for an agency (maybe a non-profit agency or church) to gain some experience, get some references, and get out of the house?  The thing about volunteering is that you can pick who you want to work for & it can be very rewarding working for something you believe in.

About the house you would like to own.  Almost every state (and probably city-I see you are from Portland) has a low interest loan program for first time homeowners who are low-income.  If you don't how to find them, contact the City of Portland Planning Department, and ask for someone who knows about HUD grants such as CDBG, HOME etc.  They also have down payment assistance (usually) as a part of these programs.  Your panic attacks may also qualify you as disabled under these programs(you would have to check on this part).  Hope this helps - Good luck and hang in there.