Traveling with a 1-year-old

I am planning way in advance here, but next summer my husband, myself and our kid will be attending a wedding that is either going to entail driving for sixteen hours, or flying for an hour and a half and then driving for four.  We're trying to figure out how we're going to do this.  Even though the drive will take us over the U.P. of Michigan, with potential for good stops and places to walk around, I expect that strapping a kid into a car seat and driving will be hellish, take many days and wear us out before we even get there.  On the other hand, I don't necessarily want to be that person with the baby on the airplane, even though it's a relatively short trip.  Also, do you usually have to buy a seat for a kid that young, how do we deal with needing a stroller (do we check it?) and then since we'll have to rent a car, what about a car seat?? 

My husband wants to drive, and does not listen to me when I say a kid that age isn't going to just sleep the whole time and I'm leaning towards flying, even though it's kind of a logistical nightmare.  Oh, and this kid isn't even born yet -- we're expecting in four weeks.  Like I said, we're planning ahead!

Does anyone have any advice or has anyone been in this situation?  We can't not go to the wedding, it's his sister's wedding and he's standing in it. 

When hubby and I had to do this when our oldest was about 18 months, we decided on the plane because it would be the quickest and least stress on him - plus we found a really good deal on Expedia.  At the time, American let us bring him aboard as a "lap child" and didn't charge the extra seat, but I have no idea what they're doing now seeing how they're charging for extra luggage to make more money.  Even if they do charge for it, and money isn't a factor, I think that kids under 2 can still be confined to their parents laps without the need for the special seat.

Strollers on a plane:  Most airlines (depending on the size of the plane) will allow those to be gate checked - that is, you can bring the stroller all the way up to the gate, and when you board the plane, they put a special gate check tag on it, and they'll have it at the gate when you get off.

When hubby and I did this, we asked the car rental company if they had child seats, and they said yes.  Apparently we should have been more specific, but the one they tried to give us looked like it had been dropped off a building, and the adjustment straps were totally screwed up.  But we went with cheap rental car place - I'm pretty sure others have higher quality child seats available.  If you go this route (instead of checking your own car seat as luggage, which is possible), you can always contact customer service at the location you're renting from to get more info on what they offer.

And flying with a young child is not the logistical nightmare you think it is if you do some very diligent advance planning.  We deliberately make sure our son was tire so we could (almost) guarantee a nap during the flight - it's generally not recommended, but it worked for us.  Be sure to have them drinking, nursing, chewing, or sucking on a binky during take off and landing, as this will prevent most issues with ears and air pressure.  Be sure to have select favorite toys and books to distract them.  And, as a luxury, if you have a laptop or portable DVD player, play something for them if they like to watch stuff.

You didn't mention if you're staying in a hotel when you get there, but if you are, contact the hotel to see if they can provide a crib or basinet.  

I'm sure you'll get a lot of other ideas.  Congrats on your impending arrival, and good luck on the trip!

on edit: You may also want to check out  flyingwithkids.com  

We've alway rented carseats through the car rental. It's easy. We've never had an issue with it that way. They've always provided something decent/clean, ect. Children under two years usually fly free. That's my knowledge based on every flight we've ever booked, ect.

Under 1: Easy! Our daughter slept right through the entire flight there. From Oklahoma to WA state. Sleepy girl. People were in awe we stood up behind them with a baby. We started to wake her just as we landed. Lol. All she needed was her blankie and bottle. :)

Age 1-  2: Doable/tough. Be prepared! Our daugher begged to get up to walk around/play. It took a bit of coo'ing promises for playing later and comforting her.  I had to reassure that we would take a long walk later, ect. She was good but a little cranky about staying still so long. That's the hassle part. Bring a coloring book/colors. It also helps if you let them play with one of the $1 headsets they sell. Ect. It's smart to have special snacks in little individual bags ready. Lil cookies, lil fruit snacks, raisins,ect! Something liked/yummy to distract your child. Our daughter begged for milk which they didn't have aboard. That was a small scene but okay because we had goldfish snacks in mommy's pocket! Lol Bring stickers! They're uber cheap lil mini packs sold in stores target/walmart, ect. Just bring a couple packs it will save your life. Lol! They served as the best lengthly destraction,imho. Our daughter just played and played with stickers. Stickers are a great and clean distraction!Bring an activity bag, crayons, paper, books, toys, snacks, etc. My daughter has her blankie for naps. I brought a sippy with water. I wore bracelets ect and let her play with them. She wanted off my lap every 2 seconds! for about 25 mins total.  It's just so very important to bring little things to keep her/him entertained, a combination of favorite things and some new that she/he's never seen before. 
 

Age 3: Easier! My daughter just turned three in April and we went to Cali for her vacation with family. She was happy about flying on an Air Plane. She wanted to sing " Flying in an air plane looking out the window... watching the clouds go by... " You know the song from Barney... Mhm. That might've annoyed some snooty people. But, hey! She was happy. No crying.. She wasn't upset whatsoever at all. She was pretty content with the way things were. She didn't have a problem staying in her seat, ect. She did want to talk to other people flying. " Do you like rocket ships? Do you like flying? Tinkerbell flies... Peter Pan flies..Do you like airplanes?! I like flying.  Lets sing! What's your name?!" ect. She also liked to look at the in-flight magazines and the safety card. She pushed the window shade up and down a hundred times too! Okay. That's last part is a little bit of an exaggeration. Lol!

Don't stress. That's the best advice I can give you on the matter. Some people will be great about a baby aboard. Others: Snooty.  It doesn't matter if they do or do not have reason. Oooh well. It's a short flight in comparison to driving. Babies comfort in flying thrumps that of driving long distance,imo. That's the bottom line!

 You'll be fine. The aniety leading up to the trip is much worse than the actual flight.

My daughter took her first trip when she was 7 months old. We flew from KC to Indianapolis. It was a cake walk. My son will be taking his first trip this July when he's 9 months old. We will again be flying from KC to Indy.

When we traveled with my daughter, we had a layover which was a catch-22. We planned our flights around her naps so she slept through the first leg of the flight an we were able to get off the plane and walk around. The downside was we had to lug everything off the plane and then onto another one.

This summer, we're flying on Southwest. My son is traveling on my lap and we're able to gate check his stroller AND car seat. The best thing is, they don't count toward our luggage limit and they won't charge us extra for them. Southwest (among others, I'm sure) has infant rates if you feel better about having your child strapped into his/her carseat. When I asked about infant rates, they were twice as expensive as the "Wanna Get Away?" rates. It doesn't matter because we chose to go with a lap-flyer.

Here are some things I suggest when flying with a baby (some have already been suggested):

• If you have a lap-passenger, let the airline know! This saves the possibility of hassle at the gate.
• Preboard! Take advantage of the ability to preboard. It gives you a chance to get settled before the plane gets crowded
• Bring multiple photocopies of your baby's social security card AND birth certificate. We didn't need them but I'm glad we had them on hand. You can even get your baby a passport so they have photo ID (should you feel inclined).
• Nurse/bottle feed during takeoff and landing. This prevents painful ear popping. If you are okay with it, you can give them some pain medication beforehand (I don't like doing this). I made sure to call Southwest and ask if descreet breastfeeding was acceptable in-flight. I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to nurse or not. We'll see.
•  Bring a couple of NEW toys. If your baby is awake during the flight, new toys are exciting and will probably hold their attention longer than things they play with all the time. Also, don't forget their lovie (or blankey, or favorite stuffed animal).
• When we flew with our daughter when she was older, we brought our portable DVD player and some Baby Einstein videos to keep her entertained.

I read an article on CNN recently about the horrible condition of car seats provided by rental companies. I will be bringing our own carseat. Southwest has bags that they put car seats and strollers in so they don't get damaged during the flight.

Hope that helps!

My son was to be the ring bearer in his aunt's wedding when he was 15 months old.  We were going to drive (from east Texas to Colorado) because we were worried about how he'd act on a plane.  However, my son was horrible on car rides.  He'd get fussy riding in the car for more than half an hour, so we decided flying might be better for our sanity. 

The plane ride there wasn't too bad.  He fussed a little and wanted to get down, but we packed tons of snacks and toys for him to take on the plane, and that kept him occupied.  Also, there were 2yo twin girls in the row next to us, so they kept him entertained-every flight should have them.  LOL!  The ride back home was okay as well.  We planned it so that the flight coincided with nap time.  Our son fell asleep almost immediately, and woke up about 15 minutes before we landed.  

I think it all depends on the child, but you have yet to find out.  :)  In our experience, our son hated being in the car when he was an infant, but he loves it now.  He never fell asleep while riding in the car, so a 16 hour drive wasn't going to work for us.  I know you probably want to plan your trip in advance, but if at all possible, I'd suggest seeing how your child reacts to car trips first before deciding on a travel method. 

Bier, those are great suggestions!  You reminded me of another thing I wanted to mention-we took our son's larger stroller, and I totally regretted it.  It's one of those that's part of a travel system.  We did not take the carseat/carrier part because we rented a car and a car seat.  Anyway, if I were to ever fly with a baby again, I'd take an umbrella stroller only.  The stroller made it to Denver just fine, but it was in pieces when we came back to Houston.  When it came around on the baggage claim, it came in 3 pieces-parts that I didn't know were even removable.  One piece is missing forever.  :(  It was just a snap on cup holder part, but still.  Also, the frame is now bent, so when you want to unfold the stroller for use, you have to fiddle with it because the lap tray catches on the upper part of the stroller and makes it difficult to pry apart. 

Read the fine print carefully, as we did not.  The airline is NOT responsible for damages caused to your stroller.  There is a disclaimer that states they are not responsible for any lost pieces.  As far as they are concerned, you are responsible for removing any detachable pieces from your stoller prior to checking it upon boarding.  It's just a little dissapointing that my son's great grandfather spent over $200 on that stroller, and the airline damaged it.  If I'd known better, I would've just put him in our $20 umbrella stroller and not cared if it got damaged. 

My daughter had just turned 1 a month before we took a 10-11 hour road trip. We left early in the morning - 4am - and tried to get as much driving in before her typical wake time of 11 am. When we got her into the car at 4 she was of course awake for a little while, maybe and hour she then fell fast asleep until around 11am. After she woke we made a pit stop for some grub and to stretch our legs. We still had a few hours to go so we loaded back up and made sure to have plenty of snacks and entertainment for her, books and toys and we took turns in the back seat to sit with her so she had company. My daughter sleeps well in the car seat and doesn't loathe going for a ride so that may have made the difference. Not saying there weren't a few fussy moments but we tried to keep her attention to something she liked. I think the key was driving during her normal sleep time so she could sleep through most of the trip.

Flying or driving one way or another will work better for you but you probably won't know until you get to know your baby's temperments. Which it sounds like you will have plenty of time to do since you are planning so far in advanced.

I traveled from FL to OK for my Father in Law's funeral with a 7 week old infant.  The total flight time was 3 hours, and the layovers made it a 6 hour trip. I made sure that I changed him and fed him before we boarded each flight, and had a little stroller that I checked at the gate for him. Pacifiers, candy, bottles or something to suck on are a MUST!! Infants don't know how to pop their ears, and that's why they cry. So if you fly have the little tyke suck on something when you start your decent/take off.

 I checked his carseat with my luggage. Carseats and strollers don't count towards luggage restrictions, and you don't have to buy a ticket for a child under 2 years old. They do have to sit in your lap the whole time, though. If there is a open seat next to you then you can plop the kid there with an FAA approved child restraint device.

 We made another trip from FL to Port Angeles, WA when the baby was 10 months old. He was very good and only cried for a total of 30 minutes the whole trip. There are child car seats that change into a stroller and they can be taken on to planes and used as a car seat. You have to buy a ticket if you do that.   The airplane carseats are roughly $300, though. My sister drove from WA to CA, then WA to WI many times with two children, and it was rough. You have to stop every 2-3 hours to change diapers, feed them, and let them run around. We took a weekend trip to Atlanta, GA and Ethan cried for the first 2 hours straight!! We even left after his dinner time because we thought he would be sleepy! Nope! He eventually setteled down and slept, but it was very stressful. I totally reccommend flying. Wait until the child is older to take a long car trip.

My poor kids have been subjected to 10 hour car trips once or twice a year since they were born, as we'd go visit my husband's brother, and couldn't afford to fly everyone out.  The oldest is 5 1/2.  We almost always did it in a day - but your 16 hour trip will probably take two days.  Always figure in a 15 minute stop about every hour and a half, and actually get out of the car and eat meals at a place where they can stretch out. 

For a one-year old, bring a variety of snacks, a couple of age-appropriate electronic toys (leapfrog's jukebox has been a favorite), music to sing along to, and check out a book or two of fingerplay rhymes and songs (they absolutely love this!).  The key is, you will be the entertainer, for the most part, as a 1 year old won't be able to entertain himself.  Games that encourage the child to look out the window and see things also help, but may or may not interest a 12 month old.

My kids were used to long car trips, as we routinely would drive 2 hours to visit one set of grandparents or the other, so they really didn't object too much to their carseats, and 10 minutes at a park or McDonald's playland works wonders.

A long car trip with a one year old is trying, but it can be done, and I honestly think that in many ways it is easier than flying.  Be sure to schedule enough time that you can get a good night's sleep before the wedding!