in treatment questions

im so frustrated with myself. i need to gain weight yet i keep obsessing over what i can/ can't eat at what time i can eat etc. its all i think about while im at work. it seems its all im living for and i hate it. i know i need to gain some weight but im scared. scared because i have no idea how many calories im consuming now and i want to be healty again. i dont want my hair to keep falling off. although i dont feel as tired anymore because i am definitely eating more and not running at all. instead ive gone to doing a little strength training. so now im at lost as in to what to eat because i know i need to eat more protein etc.

but i have no idea what to eat. ill stand in front of the fridge. think about what my meals will be during the day and im just so annoyed. i dont know what to do! i am seriously considering going to an inpatient just so i can put the weight on and not worry about things so much. ill just eat what they give me. and my mom goes out and buys tons of things. then theres tons of food and if i eat too much at once ill freak out and not eat the rest of the day and i know this isnt good.

i hate the fact i dont know when im hungry and dont know when i should stop. i dont know what a portion is or what not. i dont know if i should be calorie counting or just eating certain servings of stuff a day.

for those who have been to an in patient place, there is one in cocnut grove i think its called renfrew or something like that. has anyone heard of it? if so do you know what they do. like do they let you exercise while your on their meal plan or will they not let you until you reach a healthy bmi? also do they give you choices or your just stuck eating what they give you etc? any help would be greatly appreciated!

the renfrew center in PA had an exercise program but you had to be elidgable to be in it. you had to be medically okay to participate, which included things such as: dehydration levels, weight, etc.

the meal plans there vary depending on each person.  weekly you get a menu where you circle the foods you want to eat for each meal for that week, and a nutritionist looks it over to make sure you are getting in all your food groups.

i think you should consider it.

p.s. you will meet amazing girls who will be one of the biggest parts of your recovery.

I think it'd be a great idea to look into a treatment center. Texas Health Resources Dallas has a progressive in-patient to out-patient program that's wonderful. You get to pick your own meals as you progress through their progress chart. You will be on exercise restriction if you're severely underweight or if exercise is a big part (or any part) of your disorder. They re-feed you and provide group and individual psychological and nutritional counseling, as well as art therapy, relaxation technique development, and yoga as part of treatment. That's where I went. If you have any questions you're welcome to PM me.

I went to Remuda Ranch in Wickenburg, AZ for treatment (there is also one in Richmond, VA now) and I would definitely reccommend it. I wish I could live there the rest of my life. The girls I met were amazing and one of the biggest factors in my recovery. Exercise is not allowed. They would yell (well not yell, but get onto us) even if we were stretching. They did have a morning stretch that you could go to, but it was only for those medically stable and at a certain weight. For food, they had 2 choices for each dish/food group at each meal and every Sunday we would circle what we wanted for our meals and snacks. The unique thing about Remuda is that it has Equine therapy. I know it sounds kind of weird and silly, but I learned a lot about myself through my horse, not to mention it was relaxing and fun. IF you have any questions feel free to send me a message.

I live near the one in Coconut Creek but went to Renfrew Philli 2 times this was like 10 years ago. I think ip can be a starting ground to give you the tools and support plus get you to a physically healthier place. When you come out you will have to really work hard to use the tools you have learned to be healthy. It is the starting point to recovery not a cure. I am not for or against inpatient. If one is in a bad medical state then for sure you need some hospital of course. I always encourage people to call the place or places where they may want to go and ask questions. Some places offer different components that may be more what you need like trauma,other addictions,if you need more medical care. Going ip is not just about the food it is also about learning why you have an ed,working through some of those issues,etc. Of course you need to fuel your body and gain to a healthy place,stop other behaviors to be well. Good luck in your choice.