trouble accepting im not eating enough...please advise!

HI ...im new to this site and could use some advice/support.  Im in a different age category than most of you...im in my 40's and i had anorexia quite severely when i was younger..im 5 feet 6 and at that time got down to 74 pounds.  When i was normal (so called!) in my teens i weighed about 120.  I recovered from the anorexia and got up to 110 in my early 30's and then slipped back again to 103 a few years later.  I maintained that weight for a long time but then my mom died and i had relationship troubles...and well you know the story.....i still ate..but i was overactive and a wee bit restrictive (anyone know about orthorexia?).  I'm now 94 pounds and my dr. and my boyfriend are really bugging me about it.  They want me to gain ...my goal weight is 110.  I have osteoporosis due to the earlier anorexia so i am concerned too....but it seems to me im eating a healthy diet right now..i dont know why im so skinny..i eat lots more than some of my friends. (so it seems to me)  Here is what i ate yesterday....please comment and tell me what you think...i need some support in this ...i feel a bit freaked out about the whole thing. 

Breakfast--1/4 cup amaranth cooked in H2o.  ! banana, 1 cup 1% milk, small slice of chicken (1/4 of a small drumstick)

Snack...rice protein powder mixed with water...1 carrot

Lunch. 2tblsp. pumpkin seeds, 1 yam with a bit of olive oil on, 1/3 cup peas, 1 apple.

Dinner-can of sardines, 2 slices rye toast, cliantro salad (cilantro, baby beet, some snap peas with 1 and 1/2 tsp olive oil)Homemade custard for dessert (1 egg+1/2 cup 1% milk, +1/2 tsp honey+4 drops stevia+2 chopped dried apricots)

I was full after eating all this and dont thnk i could have eaten more food.  This looks really healthy to me....so what's the deal?  Please advise..

what does the calorie goal for you say? If you are struggling to meet that goal, consider taking a muscle gain powder instead of protein, and add more carbs to your diet. You seem to be eating "nibbles" more than a full meal (i am over weight and trying to loose weight and I seem to be eating more than you :) ) Maybe also consider a nutritionist? they can do amazing things :)

Are you a vegetarian? maybe you should consider more meat and fish as well?

I would suggest seeing some one though, who can help tailor a plan to your needs and your food like

Syn: She needs to gain weight, so her calorie minimum is 2500 sedentary.

Vicgirl: If you think that's a lot, you're dead wrong. This is an example of what I eat:

B: Oatbran/meal mix with made with soy milk, choc chip peanut butter, cocoa powder, blueberries, and lemon curd. Two slices wholemeal toast with more lemon curd. Added some dairy free butter to the toast and also had a glass of soy milk.

S: A bowl of edamame beans drizzled with sesame oil, sesame seeds sprinkled over, and cayenne pepper.

L: Chicken casserole and dumplings with rice and a dark green salad dressed with balsamic and olive oil.

S: Dried fruit salad of dates, prunes, apricots, dried pears and dried peaches.

D: Spag-bol with WW spaghetti: beef mince bolognese made with mushrooms, carrots, garlic, olive oil, and black olives. I grated soy cheese onto mine, whilst others had parmesan. Steamed veg on the side, dressed in olive oil.

S: Tin of sardines in tomato sauce on four slices of WW toast, with olive oil and basil added to the sardine mix.

That, for me, makes about 4000 calories. You presently only need to aim for around 2500 to 3000, but what you're eating now can't even be making 1200. I suggest you read this thread: The Aim is to Gain: Advice on Weight Gain, Whatever Your Reason. It is full of advice on how to begin building up your plan.

But you are not eating enough. With your osteoporosis already an issue you really need to make sure you get a lot of calcium in particular into your meals. This means whole (yes WHOLE) fat dairy and lots of oily fish! And start eating three meals and three snacks a day.

You really need to talk this through with your doctor, though. Show them your "menu" (if you can even call it that) and talk to them about this.

Hi Vic,

I suffered from anorexia as well. I have gotten to the point that I am now at a healthy weight (I even want to lose some weight now). I never got as low as you, though. I am 5'7" and the lowest I got was 105, and I was skin and bones at that point. Now, I'm 135, and am trying to lose 11 pounds. (I will always have body dysmorphia.)

Your diet sounds insufficient, but I would need more info to give you the feedback you are asking for. Since you are on the site, you must be able to see the calorie totals - what were they? How long have you been receiving treatment, and how much of a change is the diet that you listed from other, prior days? Have you only just begun to eat again? How much are you exercising right now? Are you exhibiting purging behavior in addition to the caloric restrictions?

I hope that in addition to your physician, you are seeing a dietician who is qualified as a therapist to treat someone with an eating disorder. I saw an RD LSW, and she was an immense help to me in overcoming the disorder. I also had a therapist who helped me work through some of the other issues related to the eating disorder.

Good luck

Lisa

With your osteoporosis already an issue you really need to make sure you get a lot of calcium in particular into your meals. This means whole (yes WHOLE) fat dairy and lots of oily fish! And start eating three meals and three snacks a day.

Another good way to get more calcium is to eat spinach!

HI everyone.  Thanks for the advice.  I should mention i usually eat more than i did yesterday.  I have seen a dietician....she said my diet was exemplary and that she wished everyone ate as healthy as i did...she then said...i dont know why you're so thin..i hope you dont have cancer!!!  I nearly hit her.  I saw another one since then and she said she thought i was under-eating.  But i guess i just compare myself to my friends and they dont seem to be eating as much as me..or eat about the same.  Today so far i've had...

Breakfast..bowl of millet, 1 cup 1% milk, 1/2 cup blueberries, 18 almonds.

snack--175grams of plain yogurt +1 apple

lunch-4oz tofu scrambled with 1 oz goat cheese on 1 rye toast and 1/2 rice tortilla, steamed broccoli and eggplant slices. 

I'll probably have chicken and yams and other veg for dinner..with one of those little sesame snap things for dessert.  THis to me does seem healthy.  I didnt get a calorie count properly on this site..it said i needed 1,850 to maintain my weight...how do you get it to say what you need to gain?  I have to admit its hard for me to eat full fat dairy products.  Ive studied nutrition myself (perhaps that is part of the problem!) and it seems counter-productive to eat all that saturated fat...its so bad for your arteries!  Also i am full all the time...i just can't seem to physically eat between meals because i am always still so full from my main meals.  How do you guys do that...how can you feel hungry after eating such big meals?  I am exercising yes...i walk about 45 minutes at least 5 x per week (sometimes longer) and i water jog for 25 minutes 3 times per week.  Is that excessive?  My dr. thought it was ok as it is mild exercise.

Hi Vic. :) I am not the best for advice about gaining weight, but I thought I could at least say something. I am similar to you in that I felt I was not undereating (even felt I was eating more than others around me... I am always comparing myself!) However, this didn't change the fact that I need to gain weight to be at a healthy weight, and thus needed to hit 2500 calories.

Even if you think you are eating enough, it may not be enough for your body :O

Yes, at your weight, you should not be exercising and that would fall under excessive. As for dairy - sorry, but you need calcium and calories and whole fat dairy helps provide this. So do oily fish. You'll need fats regardless, and as most fat sources are also calorie dense eat foods like nuts, seeds, nut butter, olive oil and other cooking and salad oils, avocado, and to a lesser degree soya.

If you're going to make an excuse for every suggestion given why are you asking for it? Stop comparing yourself to others. You are the one that matters and right now your weight is dangerously low. Make plans for yourself if you are not used to snacks between meals and stick to those plans. Eat even if you feel full. Your hunger signals come back but only if you train them to.

Calorie count's tools are not suited for weight gainers. The minimum you need is 2500. And you are not managing that. Please stop posting menus below 1200 - 1200 is the minimum intake for a woman over 21 trying to LOSE weight and posting any less than this can be viewed as a violation of Calorie Count's guidelines.

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Vic, our stats are quite similar. I am currently eating 3,000 calories a day and am not having much trouble with it anymore.

The fact is, ED is manipulative. Your friends eat more than you do. And they are more than likely healthier feeling than you are right now. ED tells you that what you are eating is fine because it totally skews your perception of what is enough. You could give yourself a tablespoon of peas, while someone else gives themselves half a cup and think it looks "about the same". I remember this frequently occuring at dinner time with me and my mother several months ago when I was still struggling quite a bit. I would look at her portions and swear mine were the same size. I look back now and realize that hers were at least double of what I was willing to give myself at that time.

I will say, you are eating a healthy diet - in that you eat whole grains, veggies, fruits, nuts etc. The point of controversey is whether or not it is enough. And the answer is, no it is not enough. Healthy is good, but when you aren't eating enough calories - all the healthy properties of a food won't save you. You need to eat more calorically dense foods, and try adding supplement powders like Carnation Instant Breakfast until you get more comfortable with more calories. Lala has given you tons of good suggestions as to how to get your calories up without overwhelming youself with volume. Have cooked veggies instead of raw. Cook your cereals in whole milk or cream instead of water. Theres a wealth of ways to do this healthfully. Its up to you to make the first move, no one here can force you.

Vicgirl,

You are really similar to me!  I am having a hard time convincing myself that I do not eat enough, yet I know I need to eat more in order to gain.  I too am very health conscious and have taken nutrition courses at college.  I won't use full fat dairy products either because they are simply not good for you.

I have trouble eating between meals too, I'm never hungry so I really don't snack.  I try to at night but that is the only time.  I just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one out there!  It's good to know there is someone struggling just like me.  Good luck!

Lalabanana I'm sorry if i offended you...a dietician looked over a weekly diet sheet i kept and told me i was getting between 1,650-1,850 ...not the 1200 you suggested.  Perhaps she was wrong..i dont know.  I am ready and willing to listen to any advice you successful gainers have to offer.  I am struggling though..i readily admit it...it's hard to eat when you just feel so full all the time.  I have tried a homeopathic remedy called lycopodium that seemed to help me before..i have to get some more.  And i know all about fats...i could write a book about them.  (by the way i am a freelance writer and wouldn't you know it...i write about health/wellness//nutrition!)  One thing i find very hard is ignoring all the things i have learned about saturated fat and heart disease etc. and all the stuff on tv and in mags about healthy fats vs so called bad fats.  I work in the supplement industry too and people there are always talking about sugar and candida and yadyadayada.....it's hard to shut all that noise out sometimes.  I hate the way i feel now though...always so tired...suffering from insomnia, weak muscles, no period...it sucks and i really just want to gain 15-20 pounds and be done with it all.  I've picked up some great ideas from this site and really appreciate all the support....it's fantastic to know there are others out there just like me.  And right back at ya Cole37.....Good luck!

There is no way those menus are over 1200 calories. Sorry.

Just remember, you need at least 2500 to gain at a steady and sustainable rate. If you feel full use high calorie low density food like pasta, nuts, nut butter, avocado, oily fish, dried fruit, bananas, olive oil and other oils like sesame or walnut oils, chocolate, coconut, and breads (not diet breads). And if not whole fat, what about half fat dairy? Honestly, you need calcium and dairy is probably the best source.

As for saturates... there was a girl who was gaining here who ended up NEEDING saturated fat because she became so underweight and undernourished her body ate at the fat that made up part of her brain. \: Believe it or not they CAN be helpful and are fine consumed in moderate amounts. So yes, you can have some whole fat dairy and treats like cookies or pastries in your diet too.

Saturated fats ARE needed in your diet- that's why they have a recommended daily intake value on nutrition labels and truly unhealthy things such as trans fats don't. Moderation is key.

http://trusted.md/blog/vreni_gurd/2007/04/06/ saturated_fat_the_misunderstood_nutrient

"Saturated fatty acids are critical to maintaining the structure and rigidity of our cells by making cell membranes out of phospholipids and cholesterol, and they act as enzyme and hormone regulators thereby playing an integral role in cell messaging."

Also-

"Saturated fats are necessary for calcium to be incorporated into our bones, so no-fat or skim milk won't work as a calcium source, unless you eat some saturated fat in your meal. Saturated fats are needed to boost immune function, and to build a healthy nervous system and digestive tract. Saturated fats are the base material out of which the body makes cholesterol, which is the precursor to such critical hormones as vitamin D, cortisol, testosterone, estrogen and progesterone, as well as bile acids which are necessary for the digestion of fats. Fats also are needed as carriers for the fat soluble vitamins"