Trouble Transitioning to College

I've been in college for about 5 weeks now and I'm having alot of trouble. I am going to school in Missouri but I'm originally from Texas. After moving up here I realized how much I love and miss Texas. I am not meeting people the way that I want too and I've found that at this University, it is very hard to get involved if you aren't in a sorority. I always get the nervous knot feeling in my stomach and I just want to go home so badly! I'm considering transferring but I can't transfer until the end of the school year. Will this get any better? I just want to get used to everything so that I don't break down in tears everyday! Also, my boyfriend goes to school in Texas and leaving him made me realize how much I care about him. I just need some advice on how to get through all of this!

It took me about one or two months to settle in.  I didn't really think I was "homesick" but I had constant diarrhea and could barely eat.  So I was definitely feeling stressed.  Once I got more comfortable with my roommates and felt less like a total newbie (became familiar with favorite hangouts, went shopping in town with friends, etc) I started to enjoy it. 

There have to be other people in your exact same situation.  I'm assuming you live in a dorm - try to do something to get to know the people around you.  Get a fondue pot and invite everyone on your floor to fondue and movie night or something.  You get the idea.

It will get better, but you have to be active in making it better. If you spend all your time focusing on how much you miss home and  how much better everything is back there, you will never enjoy your stay and you won't find happiness.

In 1996 I moved to a small podunk town in SW Michigan from a much larger but still mid-west city. I hated it there and I spent far too much time focusing on all the things I hated. I wasted a little more than a year being miserable and compounding my misery by focusing on the negative. Please try not to repeat my mistake.

My memories of college were that sororities were over emphasized as a way to belong and make friends. How big is the school you are attending? What activities are available at the rec center or sponsored by the dorm? Go to any meetings or activities that interest you. Smile and act confident even if you don't feel it inside.

Hi! I'm not sure what school you're at in Missouri, but my grandparents are from the El Dorado Springs area and the people there are so nice. When I first moved away from everyone to go to school, I was so homesick.  I'm from a very small town where everyone knew everyone and I'd always thought I was very outgoing.  Found out, I wasn't so outgoing, I was just comfortable with everyone.

I know 5 weeks feels like forever, but it's really not that long.  Try starting study groups for your classes, or get involved with groups that other people start.  Also, more than likely, even in your freshman/sophomore level classes, you'll have group projects that will get you interacting with other people.  When I lived in the dorms there were always activities put on by the RA's that you could participate in...crafts projects in the common areas, etc.

There aren't just sororities either...There are religious groups, groups based on academic majors, groups for athletics, athletic groups for not so athletic people...I think you get my drift :)

Point being, please give it more time and keep an open mind!

My school is HUGE, I've looked into activities to get involved in but they have all fallen through so far. So right now I'm trying to get a part-time job to keep myself busy because when I'm busy I'm not thinking as much about negative things. I just want time to start going a little faster, I want to get into more of a routine. The other thing I'm having trouble with is the weekends. I'm not a party-er and the weekends are when I feel the most homesick because I don't know what to do with myself.

Definitely - get out and enjoy the campus!  The more you get around, the more like home it will be.  Sitting in your room and thinking about how much you want to go home is not helpful in any way.  I understand, I do, but you have to get out and make a place for yourself.  It took me 2 or 3 months to feel like my dorm room was "home", but FAR, FAR longer for me to be accostomed to doing things myself.  But I've always been a bit of a homebody.

Pav's idea of creating a get together is an awesome idea.  We had a regular movie night every week - it is how I met my husband!

There are always special interest clubs around, not just sororities.  Make some inquiries, and  find something that interests you.

Go to the rec center. Swim or work out or play foos ball or whatever it is they have there. Join and arts and crafts seminar. Go to a free play put on by the drama department.

Get off your butt and go do anything.

I'm from the UK and go to university.

Honestly, it took me about the whole of the first term (10 weeks) and a bit of the second to fully get into the swing of uni life. It was a BIG adjustment. I totally wasn't ready to leave home I don't think. This time 1 year ago, I was just getting ready to start university the other side of the country and I was dreading it. But now, after spending 3 months at home on summer hols, I am DESPERATE to get back to Uni.

You will get used to it I'm sure, as long as you remain open to trying new things and meeting new people and experiencing everything that college has to offer. Join a society or something, get out and about as much as possible, enjoy studying (I know, right!?) and soon you may well find that ur feelings can change.

I've been through the tough adjustment phase, but I made it through and I am so so so glad that I did! I can't imagine not being at uni now.

Best of luck sweetie, stay strong and have fun!

Everyone goes through adjustments. You will survive this! As everyone else has said, find activities. Church groups can be fun, sport activities. I used to turn to someone in one of my classes and say, "do you understand this?" and then start studying together. If they seemed pretty nice, the next time I would say, let's do lunch and study afterward... If you did this in every one of your classes you would have so much going on you wouldn't have time to be homesick. The part time job is a good idea too. And volunteering! I used to volunteer at a hospital and some other charities. Sometimes it was stuffing envelops, other times, working as an usher at a live theater show. I always met fun people volunteering! Go to the gym and take classes... then talk to someone in the class and ask if they want to swim a few laps, play a game of tennis.... you get the idea. YOU have to make an effort to talk to people. A great way is to ask questions? Where is the best coffee shop? Hamburger? Want to go? Where are you from? You have any brothers or sisters? My mom just mailed me a box of cookies, want to come over and watch a movie and eat them? Also, think of one thing you want to SHARE... best place for ice cream, best dry cleaners, something! That way you are bringing something to the table. Good luck! Have fun.... You will learn so much about yourself...

Do you live in a dorm?  Do you sit in your dorm room with the door closed not talking to anyone?

The easiest way I made friends my freshman year was leaving my dorm room door open.  One of my best friends I met just because he happened to be walking by when I was playing DDR with my door open.  I met my husband in the dorms (by, literally, smiling at him as I walked by).  Make friends with the people who live around you and you'll have friends for the next four (plus) years!

I agree - leave your door open!  It's easiest to just make friends with the people around you, then use that as a stepping stone to find friends of friends etc until you meet the people you really connect with.

Give it at least until Christmas. A lot can change in the next few weeks. See if there are clubs for your major, service clubs, or go to sporting events.

(The other day, I saw some girl in Walmart. I only realized I knew her when she said, "Hey football friend!" We sat by each other at the last two games. lol)

I had trouble too at first but it gets easier. A part time job would probably be a good idea. Just don't get too busy to meet new people.

A lot of my friends I met by asking questions about class or their shoes or their plans for the weekend.

I promise it will get better soon!!

thanks for all the advice, keep it coming! I need all the tips I can get, I'm ready for the "transition" to be over!!

You make university what you want it to be. Get involved in clubs, get a part-time job, make study groups for your harder classes, etc. You do not have to join a sorority to make friends. 

When I lived in the dorms my first year, almost everyone on my floor left their doors open. Just say hi when you walk past. Introduce yourself to the girls whose rooms are surrounding yours, etc. You'll meet people. 

There are lots of good tips here including leaving your door open, joining organizations for your major and just be friendly to people. I know when I went away to college my dorm always had social events like game nights and arts and crafts. It was usually kind of awkward to go alone but I still meet other nervous freshmen like myself that quickly turned into friends. 

Maybe try something that you've never done before, like join the Japanese club, or go to a self defense class and find someone who looks like they know what they are doing and ask them for guidance. 

Also try using facebook to find other events to go to on campus or off campus. That can be a great resource to break the ice with people that you may have seen around but haven't been brave enough to talk to. It's scary for everyone at first whether they admit it or not, but if you give up so soon you will regret it later.

Also getting a part time job is definitely a good idea, especially if it's someplace on or near campus.

Thanks for all of the advice, just wanted to give an update. It has now been 2 months and I'm still in the same position. However, I have evaluated my situation a little bit more. I am a lot better in terms of being away from home, I still hate the distance but I have accepted that I am not going home so I don't feel as homesick. I still want to transfer though, I have no "pride" going here which doesn't help me because I don't love this school enough to motivate myself to change things. Also, I really don't like the weather, I'm not used to cold AT ALL. Generally speaking, I have found that the people who go here are from the same area and are pretty cliquey when it comes to meeting new people. I have decided that if I still feel this way at Christmas break, then I am going to apply for a transfer. 

I know it will be tough to start over some where else, but I feel that if I love the school, I will want to get myself out there rather then settle for a mediocre college experience. 

*bump*