Trying Again After a Stillbirth

OK, I gave birth on April 2, 2008 at 23 weeks to a stillborn baby boy name Alexander.  I want to try again as so as possible, but my husband wants to wait until we are more financially stable.  This lost did hurt us financially.  Either way this is going to be a big problem once my 6 weeks is up.  I have no idea what to do, I total understand what he is saying but I can't help how I feel and what I have the need for.

Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your loss, that must have been very difficult for you.  I just wondered if you had seen a councellor.  It may well be that you genuinely want to try again but make sure you are doing it for the right reasons, not that you feel that you should have a baby because you were pregnant and therefore need to do try again asap.

Also, perhaps finances are your husbands real concern, or perhaps they are a cover up for something more emotional.

Hope all goes well. x

I'm not trying to replace or makeup for my lost.  I just feel as if everything I work so hard for was taking away from me.  I know Idon't want to try this year, I'm looking more so at next year.  I have been doing really good dealing with this, I just have a hard time being around and looking at pregnant woman and newborns.  As for my husband, I do think he is using our finances as a cover up. Cause I have caught him crying a few times while I cry and I would always tell him to get it out, but he would leave the room (he's not one of those people who cry when someone else cry unless the situation really hurts him as well).  I really don't know what to do.  I want to try and help him get our finances right again, but I decided to go back to school.  I don't know.

 

 

I am sorry for your loss.  I don’t know your husband, but it might be that he is simply not ready.  I don’t know if you have talked to him concerning where you both with your grieving for your son, but maybe you could ask him.  While you may be ready to have a second child, perhaps he is healing differently then you?  It may be that he needs more time to steady himself and his emotions. 

As for the financial aspects of having a second child, I would develop a plan of action=a budget.  If he truly is concerned with where you both stand financially, develop a plan to get on track!  I think he would be more likely to have another child if he knew that you two were financially on track.  I have a really cool budgeting spreadsheet if you want to figure out where to start!  Just PM me, and I can send it to ya.