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trying to gain weight but binging...please help, please!

Hi. I am 5' 2.5" and weigh 96-97 lbs. I lost my period, and I need to get it back. I have to gain 1 lb per week for 8 weeks or i will be sent to a residential treatment program for months. I am recovering from an ED. I want to be normal, but when it comes to actually doing what that takes, I can't, ED stops me, and I give in. However, it was just Rosh Hashanah, and a combination of the amazing, high-calorie foods and the fear of going away led to a huuugggee binge last night, of brisket, knishes, corn pudding, cookies, chocolate, kugel, mashed potatoes, challah, cheesecake, and custard. i tried to purge but I couldnt. I never have. now i woke up and my stomach is so bloated and I feel so fat, and I wont eat. but how do i get my stomach back to its small size so that I can face eating? I dont want to gain this weight, im so scared. But i want my period back...please advice, how much weight will i gain from the binge? how do i get back on track? i refuse to eat a lot today 

im sorry you are having such a hard time . it sounds like you may of had alot of worries on your mind that led you to binge . the main thing is to try not to dwell on this, whats happened has happened and it dosent have to be a habit. the thing you need to do from here is to not restrict . i know that will be hard as you are worried about what you have done but its the only way . if you do restrict it will just lead you into a loop of doing the same . your not alone in this your body is starved and its natural to have those urges .i dont know what your calorie intake is at present but i sugest uping it by 200 every few days untill you reach 2500 this is the minimal to gain weight once your body is not at risk of going into refeeding syndrome . and when you get there you must consistantly keep it up , you may even need a higher amount if the weight gain slows down use this forum we can all support you post your meal plans and people can help encourage you, you need  to be at a healthy weight so your body can function normally and you can live a happy healthy life . the binge you had wont make you pile on loads of weight , try and see it as a one off. another possibility is you could give ip ago it might be what you need there are people who can help get you through this. i assure you no one has any intention of making you fat they just want you to be healthy . i know you say you dont want to go ip , but what are your reasons ? dont let the ed s fears lead you to stay at home stuck , you dont want to spend your life in and out of this ed disorder rut . hope that helps , but refusing to eat today is not the answer it will push you into doing the same thing again h xxx

tessa you are really so wonderful I really appreciate your time and advice. I am about to cry...there are such wonderful people in this world if one actually tries to notice. 

I am not starved...ive been in recovery for a while. I have been eating about 1700 calories for a while, before that I was a day patient at 2800, i have not really been losing, but not gaining either, but its not a matter of refeeding...i didnt even want to eat the food, i wanted to want to. it was unlike any binge ive had many months ago when it was more of a refeeding need. it is not now. i think i gained a pound from the binge...it was that many calories...and I feel like i cant start fresh now.

people do care about you. im glad you feel able to progress from here sometimes we need to go through the rough to get to the smooth if you get my drift , you wont of gained a pound lol thats just cause its quite close after but you need it anyway hugs h x

i definitely took in more than 3500 extra calories...its hard to continue now