For those TTC...

My DH and I have been TTC for 11 months.  Everyone around me who started at the same time is either pregnant or already had their babies!!!

Anyone else in the same boat?  How can I control my sadness and frustration?  I have already seen my gyno and have another appointment next week...possibly not ovulating.  Trying to continue to eat well and exercise and find other outlets to release the frustration.

I just feel like I am broken and am disappointing my DH.  I am just so ready...we are so ready.

I am not there currently, but I have been there and it is heart-wrenching.  It took us around 20 months to conceive each of our girls.  During that time it seemed like everyone else in the world was pregnant.  It seemed so unfair.  There are no easy answers for how to control the sadness and frustration.  I broke down crying to my husband multiple times.  I would visit friends with newborns in the hospital and barely hold myself together until I got back down to the lobby where I would just fall apart, sit down in a chair, and cry.

I think we discussed this on another thread, but, are you thinking of seeking help from a specialist?

Just do your best to keep the lines of communication open with your husband.  I mean, this probably shouldn't be the only thing you talk about - it shouldn't consume your entire relationship, but you should be able to talk to each other openly and honestly.

I hope you are happily surprised soon.

I have an appt with my regular obgyn, again, next wednesday where either we are going to get more agressive or she is going to refer me to someone else...at least, that is my agenda.  I am really not into the whole, wait and see idea.  I am 28 and my DH is 31, coming up on 29 and 32 respectively in a couple months.

Thank you for your comments, sometimes its just nice to read that its ok to be upset and cry.  My DH and I definitely are able to discuss...although, i know I am more extreme about it than he is.  but i would say that is generally how it is with women and men...

thank you again, juliemae..

I know exactly how you feel!!  My DH and I have been trying for almost 3 years now and it is heart wrenching when your friends get pregnant.  I got to a point after about a year of TTC where it was just too much.  I was letting everyone else's happiness get me down and it was just stressing me out.  Plus I couldn't be happy for my friends b/c I resented them so much.  So I just decided to be happy where I was.  Most of my friends are now having their second child and it hasn't gotten any easier, in fact it's reminded me of my hopes to have a child again.  So my DH and I are going to a specialist next week (we've had it scheduled for like 3 months!).  I'm so nervous and excited and scared.  But I am also 28 and my hubby is 29 and I'm tired of just waiting to see what happens. 

My advise to you would be to not continue to wait.  Get a good doctor that you feel comfortable with and who is pro-active.  My old dr. was too busy delivering babies to worry about me not being able to have one and I've let 3 years go by.  And don't get too bogged down by negative thoughts.  Things will happen the way they should (maybe not the way you expect).  Life always has a way of righting it's self.  Much love and luck.  And know that you are not alone!!

Wish me luck next week!!!

I highly recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility (tcoyf), book and software by Toni Weschler. I have been using it to track my TTC for about 1 1/2 years. Though it's sad and frustrating it hasnt happened for me (we are both 40) i love learning all there is to know about my body and knowing that i am timing things for the best possible outcome. I am now equipped with the tools i need to get pregnant.

Also with the software, which is soooo worth the 1 time fee of $40, and you get a 2 week free trial here: http://www.ovusoft.com/about/ ) there are forums with an array of topics. I have meet a group of friends who are in the same place i am. I always have a place to go now to gripe, celebrate, cry, and laugh.

I hope you give it a try. I dont feel helpless and alone anymore! Good Luck and hope to see you there! My id there is also moonhunt18 if you wanna look me up!

thank you all for your comments!  baybdreamer...definitely sending good thoughts your way for your appointment.  I think you are right, if my dr. isn't into helping me, then I will find another.  I don't want to play "let's wait" anymore..and neither does my DH.

Moonhunt18...i live by Taking Charge of Your Fertility!  It is a wonderful book and taught me how to chart my BBT and CM.  Really an amazing book..adn I recommend it to others like you have to me! You are right when it gave you good information about your body that I am amazed I didn't know!  It has armed me with good information that helps me stay positive and take things into my own hands.  I also post on babycenter.com (under name b-creative) and track my charting using fertilityfriend.com.  Both of which help.

I am looking forward to my appointment on Wednesday..I will keep you all posted..and you all do the same!

good luck!!! FC [fc]  for you! i am going to make sure that anu daughter of mine will grow up learning what her body is telling her because of tcoyf!

i gave it as a pre-wedding goft to my best friend too! heehee

Hi there....same boat sadly....I thought I was one of the lucky ones to get pregnant on my first month of chlomid, but after 7 weeks of pure bliss and happiness turned out it was an ampty sac with no embryo, I started bleeding and had to havea  D&C yesterday.  I found out an old school friend is now pregnant....not a close friend....its totally floored me.  I'm insanely jealous and don't want to be that mean cow!

We've been trying from Dec '07 (had PCOS confirmed earlier this year....and then the rest)  Will go onto 2nd round of chlomid next month.  Hot flushes and hormones here we come!  Definitely suggest finding someone who will give you alternatives/ solutions to getting pregnant.  I outright told my gynae that I wasn't prepared to wait and see (also 28 and hubby 31)

Hopefully posting this will now stop me from eating the 2 cupcakes behind me! 

All the best, K x

Just an update since I never posted after my first appointment in September.  My dr put me on metformin for my insulin resistance(which was screwing up my hormones royally and no other doctor before him ever mentioned it) and also started me on clomid.  The first round of clomid was successful in getting me to ovulate but I didn't get pregnant.  So round two they increased my dosage and we were very excited at the possibilities.  I had my ultrasound yesterday to see how clomid did, and it failed.  So... now I'm again on clomid at a higher dose and hoping that this round produces results and we get pregnant.  If not, then we have to start considering the other more expensive treatments (shots or more).  So, I'm still hoping and praying for our dreams to come true.  It's just hard to be patient and not doubt myself or be down on myself for something that is out of my control!

Been there.....done that!  I have an ovulation problem. Tried to get pregnant for a year after getting married. I wasn't getting any younger and everyone around me was getting pregnant. Plus, EVERYONE would ask..."so, when are you going to have kids?"  I, also, felt broken. Like a let down to my husband. He was always so supportive but I would be lying if a little part of me didn't worry about him leaving me because I know he wanted to have kids and it seemed like I would never get pregnant. I tried all the ovulation kits and clear choice moniter with no luck. So, we went to a fertility specialist. Tried the clomid...unsuccessful. I had to do the shots. Got pregnant the first round with my son, who is now almost 5!  Then, we figured we wanted to have another child because the longer we waited the harder it might be for me to get pregnant again. So we went back to the fertility specialist. I had to do the shots again, it took longer this time. I got pregnant but had a very early miscarriage. Tried again and I got pregnant with my twins, who are now 3. After the twins, surprise surprise....I got pregnant on my own with another set of twins. This time identical girls. I lost them to premature delivery so they are now angels in heaven. Then, a couple years later...another surprise! I got pregnant on my own again with my baby girl who is now 6 months old. And this is after my fertility specialist said I would NEVER get pregnant on my own because I don't ovulate. My advice: Hang in there. Don't give up hope. I know how emotionally trying it can be....not to mention the fact that we are terribly in debt from the fertility treatments. However, I don't care about the debt. It was worth it. Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers.

Thanks lulufit!  Sounds like you are one busy mom now!!  Thanks for posting though, it gives me hope!!