Ugh, Anyone else have this problem?

Let me tell you a little about myself. I'm 22 years old. About 300 lbs. I have been very athletic my entire life. I'm good at almost any sport I try. I played baseball from 5 years old, all the way through high school. I played tennis through high school and got some scholarship offers to play tennis in college.

Recently I had to deal with the rudest skinny person in the history of skinny people.

I walked into a new tennis shop the other day looking to buy the string I normally use. The lady behind the counter was so rude to me; I honestly couldn't believe how rude she was. She kept trying to sell me a different string than what I was asking for. She said things like, "You wouldn't do well with that kind of string" and "That string is for more advanced players," Keep in mind that I am a tournament tennis player all over the country, and sponsored by Adidas, yet she has never seen me play.

I can always tell when people are judging me on my weight. I was always picked last in PE in high school for the first month of school starting... then the kids actually realized that I was probably one of the most athletic guys in my class and actually let me be a receiver in football instead of a blocker because of my size (I'm sure the bigger people have had that experience, lol).

Anyways, I walked out of the store, without string the I needed, thinking, I need to lose weight...

I have this problem all the time. People take one look at me and think I am an unathletic, uncoordinated, mess when it comes to athleticism but it's simply not true.

Anyone else have this problem? If so, what’s your story?
Got any advice for when this happens to me?

There's a phrase about judging books by their covers and, unfortunately for you, most people who are 300lbs usually aren't top-flight athletes.  I'm sure you're one of those rare types for whom the BMI scale is less useful because of your muscle bulk.  However, having said that and not knowing how tall you are, 300lbs is extremely heavy whichever way you cut it.   It may not be slowing you down now but what will your joints look like in twenty years' time?  And if you're good at tennis at that weight today, how much faster could you be 50lbs lighter, for example?

I'm trying to lose 100 lbs. I really don't want joint pain. I know I will have it pretty bad If I don't lose the weight.

btw I'm 6'. and I do have a good amount of muscle but it's a good amount of fat from a thyroid problem that I am learning to deal with. I am just now starting to lose the weight. I lost 25 lbs last month!!!

If your situation in the sporting goods store wasn't common there wouldn't be so much folklore about it. One novel I read features a professional harp teacher who decides to take up electric guitar. She is given a guitar and heads to the music store to buy an amp. She's young-looking and pretty and the guy in the guitar department does NOT take her seriously ("I bet she just wants to impress her boyfriend") and tries to sell her a cheap, crappy amp.

She's rescued by the girl from the keyboards department who notices that our hero isn't happy with the poor amp and takes over the sale. Our hero leaves with a really good amp and she winds up in a band with the girl from Keyboards.

People seem to WANT to underestimate others.

Hi Schwinn! 

Congratulations first of all for losing 25 lb last months even though you have a medical condition that makes it so much harder for you to lose weight! Well done!!! 

Of course I know those situations too. With almost 6' and 260 lb we are not much different and I can tell you: I am just not going into stores where young and attractive people are working as sales clerks. It's probably pathetic but I just don't want to expose myself to rude behaviour! 

I am sure this stupid person servicing you would just refuse to believe that you are a tennis pro! People like that only see what they want to see! And if she was young she lacks life experience anyway! Don't wait for her to figure out life! :o))

Don't let people like that spoil your day!

If you have made the decision to lose weight: GREAT! You have all the right reasons to do it: health, health, health! And all the rest (physical attraction, nice sales people, higher salaries) will go with it! :o))

All the best! 

Brigit

Thanks mermaid3011!

I'm hoping that I can get down to a weight that I can be healthy and active without any problems later in life.

I also want to lose weight because I'm so sick of people judging me on my size. That sounded shallow but I don't even care. I want to look like a tennis player. lol.

Hey Schwinn444,

Like you i feel your pain.. I have had the look when going into places that i shouldnt be. I have flirted with 300lb as well. Actually in Spring 08 i was at my biggest tipping at 325. Since then i have tried on and off and am down to 285. But like you i want people to stop judging me for my size but as a regular person. I am 6'4 and work as a computer programmer so losing the weight is tricky for me as im always sitting.

Your a better man than me walking out of the store without the string.. I probably would have raised a bit of trouble asking to see the manager.

Maybe we can become weight buddies to incourage eachother to keep at it.

That sounds great.

The funny thing was... she was the manager. lol.

Wow, what a bitch. Sorry you had to go through that, man. Good luck with your weight loss! Use the bitch for some motivation, haha.

I have been obese for a long time, but still pretty healthy (good foods, simply too much has been my problem).  It has been amusing to see doctors and other health professionals deal with me, whenever I see a new doctor they always run a battery of tests to "prove" that I need to lose weight.  A few years ago, my nurse practitioner ran a battery of blood work, and when she called she said (surprised) "You have the blood of a teenager!" (I was in my late forties at the time).

So, yes, people make assumptions about other people based on appearance, whether it is weight, grooming, ethnicity or race, age, beauty, whatever.  It is just part of being a member of the human tribe.  I bet you do it too.

BTW, especially as an athlete, you are smart to try to drop some weight to protect your joints.  My joints (and of course, appearance) are the major reason I am losing weight right now.  I don't want to be crippled by the time I am 60.  It is great that you are working on it while you are still so young.  Good luck!

Original Post by schwinn444:

Anyways, I walked out of the store, without string the I needed, thinking, I need to lose weight...

Despite it not being a pleasant experience, at least it was a motivating moment.  That's the thing to take away from this.... a bit like Julia Roberts returning to the snotty sales assistants in Pretty Woman and being able to say 'big mistake'... 

The funny thing is, the reel of string I was asking for was $220 (Luxilon Big Banger ALU Rough)... she was trying to sell me a $40 (Gamma Synthetic Gut) reel of string. What an idiot. bye bye to her commission.

I know what you are dealing with, but for diffrent reasons.  Not only have I been fat, and thin, and now normal, but my problem, (which I guess doesn't sound like a problem on the outside), is that I look like a kid. I was mistaken for a 17 year old yesterday.  I just turned 30.  People say, well that's great, and don't look a gift horse in the mouth and just plain you're lucky, get over it.  Try being taken seriously with clients when they think you are just out of highschool, not just out of law school.  NO ONE takes me seriously.  Blessing or curse, I find myself telling people how old I am all the time so that they will take me seriously.  Then there is a round of questions... Wow you're so lucky, how do you do it, ect... I tell them a good diet and exercise, and moisterizer with sunscreen helps, but I have good genes there.  Pretty soon a half hour of my client meeting has been eaten up by this mess. 

Also, there was someone that said that young thin people don't or won't understand.  Not all of us were born with great thin genes.  Personally I have had to work at it every single day.  Again, I look young, but I am not as young as I look.  Finally, I have learned more life lessons in my short life than many learn in a lifetime.  Try not to judge ANY book by its cover.. not even the skinny ones. 

Schwinn, don't let it get you down.  Just move on.  If it really bothers you tell management.  I am sure they would LOVE to know that she wouldn't sell you the more expensive string and that she treated you so poorly.  I am sorry for what you went through, but some people are just dumb. 

I used to work at a tennis club.  We had a small store inside and also a bunch of tennis pros running around all the time.  All of our tennis pros were completely different shapes, sizes, etc.  There were a few tennis pros who were fairly overweight, and there were some that I just wanted to go buy a hamburger and fries for and make them stuff it down their throat.. and there were some very healthy looking ones.  This lady did judge you by your weight.. and humans judge others.. it's their nature.  It wasn't right of her to say it out loud, but from day to day, everone judges someone.. it's honestly human nature, and you may not even realize it's happening.. but like I said, she should've kept her mouth shut.  I personally would've challenged her to a game of tennis if I were you!

Anyway, I was shopping at Macy's about 3 years ago when I was in a size 12, and the saleswoman came up to me and said "Do you want me to direct you to our plus size department?"  And I was shopping in their juniors' department, picking out size 12's, trying them out, and having them perfectly fit.  I was very confused.  I asked her why she wanted to send me there, and she said "We don't carry size 20's and up in this department".. I was so confused, and I was actually a fairly normal weight at the time since I had just been dieting.. maybe a bit chubby, couldn't wear a bikini, but I wore shorts!  That was the last time I shopped at Macy's.

Am I the only person in the world that doesn't look at someone and think "That person needs a cheese burger and fries" or "that person is so fat"

I guess it is just the way I was raised I don't like to be judged so why should I judge anyone else. I do judge people but only on their personality and not how they look. I could care less how people look. Judging on poeple's looks causes so much drama and negativity... I am a pretty positive person and I live a drama-free life.