UGH...Hubby...

I?m so annoyed now. Hubby knows how hard I?m trying to lose weight and he keeps eating and eating and eating in front of me constantly. He is already probably 25 pounds overweight himself and he said he's dieting too...lol.. If you call that a diet. I never say anything to him about it though....but...Last night we had some friends over to play euchre and this is my one weakness. We are all sitting around the table playing cards and I?m chugging on my water to keep me from eating the chips that are on the table. (I did have some salt free pretzels, after everyone tried some they slammed me for eating them and said they tasted like cardboard and asked me how I could even eat them!) Anyhow, my hubby finishes a huge bowl of Doritos, then eats 4 packs of fruit snacks, then more chips, then cooks popcorn, 4 regular Pepsi?s later and a couple games of cards I just had to quit playing! I said I was tired and wanted to go to bed.. But really I was just discussed with how much he was putting in his mouth and he ate all that an hour and a half after we had just had dinner! Anyhow I really don?t know why I?m writing this but I just had to get this out.

I understand. My boyfriend is the same way. Its repulsing, because its a reminder of how I used to eat, & it is just disgusting that he can't control himself, & also it makes me feel jealous that he will eat whatever he wants while I have to watch myself constantly.

Maybe you should ask him to limit himself when he is with you, as it is rude of him to do that when he knows you are struggling to be healthy. You should also mention that you are concerned about his health.

My husband eats and eats as well, and it is really hard for me, but he helps me by always hiding his stockpile of candy and keeping healthy snacks closer to me then whatever he is eating.

From the sounds of your post you have two seperate problems

1. A husband who doesn't care about his own health
2. A husband who doesn't respect your new lifestyle choice of being healthy

You can't change number 1 that is something only he can do but I think you definately should sit down with him and explain how important this diet is to you and how hard it is for you to keep on track.  If he understands that maybe he will suprise you at the next Euchre game with a spread of veggies and dip you can share together. 

I like to point out to my husband when I feed him healthy foods that make him scrunch up his nose that he is going to eat it because I am not going to let him die young from a heartattack, and if he would like something else he can do the shopping and the cooking for himself.  I am sure it's the horror images flashing through his mind of the grocery store on Sunday afternoon that make him suck it up and appreciate whatever I feed him.

I was harping about something similar not too long ago; except he had no plan of going on a diet and was intentionally trying to sabatoge mine because he was afraid I was going to be unhealthy about it.

I finally had to sit down with my boyfriend and explain to him why I wanted to lose weight, what I was doing to meet that goal, what my weaknesses were (like him getting out gobs of peanut butter and eating it in front of me with a soda, or insisting that we go out), and how he could help even if he didn't want to make the same changes himself.

I was happily shocked at how responsive he was. He eats horrible foods and lots of them all the time, but now he makes a point not to eat them directly in front of me, and to help me plan and fix healthy meals and snacks. He's been nothing but encouraging since we had our discussion.

Obviously, I'm not trying to force him to eat like I am and he still snacks in front of me from time to time, but I try to have tasty foods around that I can do the same on (like hummus and veggies) so I don't feel so weird and left out. I also "budget" for the occassional soda/sweet during the day with my meals, because I know that he'll be eating something in the evenings that will spark a craving for me.

Once I got him feeling like his actions were directly related to my success, he also starting making concessions about where and what we ate together that are causing him to lose some weight as well.

Maybe this was a long and not-so-helpful story, but hopefully talking to your husband about how he can help you without sacrificing the foods he wants to eat will bring some progress?

Thanks for posting guys. Im going to try and talk to him about it hopefully without getting into a arugment or hurting his feelings.  Maybe before this I just didnt pay that much attention to his eating habits before.

OMG i so feel for you! My boyfriend is the same way. he eats and eats and eats and i'm like STOPPPP. I mean we go to a restaurant and he will order a side of chips, or appetizers and I am literally sitting on my hands, for one to not slap him, and for two to not eat the dang things.

He also plays that 'oh do you know what sounds so good right now' and talks about french fries, chips, POTATO SKINS, hot wings, pizza, etc. I wanna cry sometimes. But i still love him.  I just try not to listen to his food wants, and try not to watch what he's eating and instead concentrate on how good my food is :)  Always have those low cal snacks handy too.

It was very hard in the beginning with my dh bc he would just NOT eat. Heres me struggling and he would just NOT eat at all like it was nothing. It made me so mad. Finally, I passed him up weight wise. He was always lighter than me. Only then did he give up. I really dont know which would be worse.

Men have an easier time losing and it is infuriating at times. Count your blessings.

It was very hard in the beginning with my dh bc he would just NOT eat. Heres me struggling and he would just NOT eat at all like it was nothing. It made me so mad. Finally, I passed him up weight wise. He was always lighter than me. Only then did he give up. I really dont know which would be worse.

Men have an easier time losing and it is infuriating at times. Count your blessings.

morningstar, perhaps you could suggest to your husband that out of respect for you, when you entertain, the snacks made available will be ones that you can enjoy.

I am not disgusted, nor angry when the people I care about eat junkfood like no tomorrow, it's not about them or him or what he puts into his mouth, it's about what I put into my mouth.

When I entertain, I ALWAYS have vegetables available to munch on and diet soft drinks available for me to drink.  If everyone else wants to eat Doritos so be it.  It's part of learning how to eat properly.

OMG I so know what you mean! My fiance is not over weight but he can eat and eat and eat and never gain a pound. He's like a garbage disposal. He eats all junk and fast food and drinks pop so I so know how it feels. I watched him chug a 2l of pepsi and eat tostitos and cheese and I so wanted to have just one but I drank my water lol.

It is a good reminder on how I used to be in there with him tho. Keeps me away from it.

your husband is so lucky you don't have my temper.  After the crack about the pretzels, there would have been shredded cards everywhere and everyone handed their coats and told to get out.  He would have slept on the couch.

Of course I did go through 2 husbands.......  so maybe you shouldn't follow my example.

I guess I'm lucky in the food aspect, my fiance will eat what I put in front of him. So I put healthy snacks like fruit and the veggies he will eat with some dip - the dip isn't necessarily healthy, but I can avoid it.  Given a choice though, he will go for the junk food - I just don't keep the choice in the house even when entertaining.

You could put the salt free pretzels out with some low fat cheese dip - don't tell anyone that they are healthy; most people won't know the difference and have everyone snack on it.  Oh- and a great snack, believe it or not, is popcorn and M & M's.  You do have to wait a little for the popcorn to cool before dropping the M&M's in, but the ratio is a lot more popcorn than M&M's so the calories are in your favor!

Also, I think most people not given the choice, yet presented with good tasting healthy food, they will accept the healthier food and be glad of it - this weight thing affects everyone more than we sometimes think. Heck - given a choice I'll go for both the junk and healthy. The junk just tastes really really good!

*Smile*  I just looked at my newest quote posted in my cube and thought it fitting.  "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."~Mohandas Gandhi~

LOL.....sorry about the giggle. But I could picture you all sitting around the table playing cards and all the while, this eating frenzy taking place.

I can understand your feelings, for me, its almost like being left out. But dont let it get to you. You just hang in there and be tough. Hopefully he will join you in your quest before he adds another 25 lbs to himself.

I don't see why you didn't pick up and leave the table.  This is your lifestyle choice.  Every day you will be faced with people eating junk food, eating too much and so on.  You will have to learn to live with these people.

Ok, he is your husband, so you expect him to be a little more understanding, right?  Well, if he is your husband, you should also know him and expect something like this.  Or is this a new behavior you have never seen before?  Might want to look into the root of the behavior.

Why be so angry about what others do?  So what if he wants to each a full bag of doritos.  Why should be have to change his lifestyle because you are changing yours?

So you decide to make the lifestyle change and eat / be healthy, you should not expect everyone else to do so as well.  You should not expect the people around you to change what they usually do because you are there.

Yes, it would be great if everyone changed for you, but that won't happen.  I think out of everyone I know, only my sister in law makes attempts to serve heatlhier food.  And even then, her choices are only somewhat better than what she would normally serve.  Its my choice to change my life, I don't expect others to do so.

If this situation would really annoy you, tell them.  If you feel odd telling them to not eat as much because it upsets you (because, you know, that does sound kinda odd to say), then you either have to put up with it or walk away.

Your life, you need to make the choices.

Just my 2 cents.   Seems like I am against the grain in the discussion, but hey, what else is new =)

Here's my question for you.

Why is what your husband putting in his mouth your concern? I mean, I can understand if it bothers you, if it reminds you of what and how you used to eat, but it sounds like you had your head on straight, enjoyed the card game and your pretzels so.. why let your husband's behavior get you all upset?

The only one you can change is you. And it sounds like you're doing that. GOod for you! I suggest your next change be learning how to let things like this go. All you're doing is upsetting yourself and, if you confront him about it, upsetting him.

I'm sorry that your 'friends' aren't very supportive of you and your new lifestyle. Perhaps you can discuss it with them, or perhaps you can find other friends to do things with who will be more supportive of you.

Good luck to you!

I agree with the last two posts.  Changing what you eat is your choice, not anyone else's.  I understand that you may want support, but that's not how it works.  If you decide to change your eating habits, there are going to be ALOT of obsticles in your way, just stay strong.  My husband eats everything that he wants, but I don't get upset and it doesn't even bother me, I'm glad someone has the luck and good genes to be able to enjoy that food like chips, chocolate, burgers and so on.  I actually get a lot of enjoyment out of seeing him happy when he eats that stuff.  He's lucky though, he's not overweight.

He's not overweight, but I wonder how truly healthy he is.  Many people who eat that junk and don't gain a pound are not the healthiest people.  And one day, the body starts to slow down, and if they haven't changed their eating habits, they put on alot of weight fast.

... and they end up on Calorie-Count.com (Because we're the best darned weight loss site on the net ;) ) and learn to eat healthy and exercise from people who were where they are now ;)

Well thanks everyone for letting me see a different perspective on things here. I still haven?t got a chance to talk to him about it.. It?s probably to late now since this happened like last Sat. night. Anyhow... I should focus more on me and just not worry about anything else. I am going to tell him that I am afraid with how much junk he is eating though, and I just want him to stay healthy.. We got 2 beautiful kids to raise ya know.....

Yeah, my husband is a twig (144 lbs) and can sit down everyday and eat a block of cheese.  He refuses to get his cholesterol checked and I swear my biggest fear is that he's just going to drop dead of a heart attack at the age of 30.  *sigh*