ugh. I think 'skinny' comments are just as hurtful as fat comments

On a daily basis... people tend to poke fun at my being thin.  Remember... I'm actually going to attend a doctor beginning this monday to help me along w/ my recovery from disordered eating. (I don't believe I'm anorexic... I'm a bit underweight but not a lot).  But I still get some ignorant comments from people commenting from what I eat to how thin I am.  I've gotten too thin... I know that. It is hard to stop this problem I've gotten with losing weight.  But people who don't even know me consistently make rude skinny comments.  Not comments such as "oh you look great!" just snotty thin comments.  It urks me bad and puts me in such a sad mood whenever people say that to me. I go to work and get it waaay to much.  I even went into my job to buy a new swimsuit yesterday.  It took me forever to find a fitting swimsuit that wasn't baggy on me and I went to get rung up at the register and am welcomed by "oh man... you need to eat more girl!" and then another cashier chimed in saying "oh, maybe 3 grapes instead of 2 for dinner".  For christs sake... it honestly hurts. I don't want to be seen as too skinny and these comments hurt a lot.  People need to think before they speak.

wow, i do really fee for you because i do agree - its just as hurtful as calling a fat person fat.  Some people (not strangers in shops obvoiulsy) probably say stuff because they are worried about you and dont' know how else to go about it??!!  And some are probably jealous that they aren't as thin??  Obviously i dont' know how thin you are but i'm glad you are acknowleding your problem and seeing someone to help you!  there are a few people i know that do not want to get help....

good luck to you and i know its hard but the people that say hurtful things are the ones with the long term problem!!

I'm not a "thin" person. I'm still about 20-25 lbs overweight. BUT my best friend of 10 years went through what you deal with. She didn't have an eating disorder, but was always SO THIN. She was so thin you could see the bones in her back. But she ate everything in sight (she's one of those! eat whatever she wants-not gain a pound, lol) and I can vouch for that! People teased her constantly... she was called anorexic and bulimic for so long. People would be like "Geez! Don't you eat anything?!" and "Wow, you're so skinny!!!" and it really hurt her feelings. Well today, she's gorgeous, in great shape, and has really filled out. Now she's one of those girls that gets "checked out" everywhere we go. She always kept her head up and didn't let people get to her and now look at her!

My point is, I know that people can say/do hurtful things but try to keep your head up. Those people are obviously insecure with themselves and the way they deal with it is to try and make themslves feel better by bringing others down (pathetic! I know.) Don't let anyone bring you down because that's the reaction they are looking for. Just brush it off the best you can! :-) I know it's easier said than done.

Good luck with everything :-)

I keep getting those kind of comments, too.  As a matter of fact, I was lectured by my drunk sister this past weekend.  People make comments about me wasting away.  My dr. asked me if I was bulimic or doing coke.  He said I look like a bulimic.  I don't know why people think it is okay to make thin comments but are kind enough not to say a rude word when you are overweight.  I don't get it either.  I wonder if it's because these people have seen me overweight, and comparatively I do look quite thin.  Whereas, people who didn't know me before don't say anything about my being too thin.  Whatever the reason, I wish they would stop it.

i think it's still politically incorrect to comment on heavy peoples' size (though i know some people do it anyway), but somehow skinny people are fair game.  there's a perception that if someone's skinny, they must be so happy that you couldn't possibly hurt them.

i think skinny people are the target of a backlash against the obesity crisis and the pressure to be healthy.

there's not much you can do about strangers' behaviour, but i think you should address it at work.  you shouldn't have to deal with that in a place where you spend so much time and should be safe.

I understand where you are coming from.  I am not thin so I don't here the comments about being too thin, but I have been trying to have children for 8 years now and have not been successful.  I am 31 and people will constantly ask me.. why don't you have kids? They get this look on their faces as if I am someone they pity.  It really hurts and can ruin my day.  I have learned that people can be rude, insensitive and just mean.  Sometimes they don't even realize they are doing it.  I would say to try your best to ignore the comments.  You know you are trying to get help and that is all that matters.  You get to decide the weight you give to someone elses comment and how it makes you feel.  Try to stay strong...I know it hurts, but it will get better and so will you!

Personal comments are always rude. It doesn't matter what is being commented on - it's just rude, and unkind to boot.

The only thing to do with rude people is avoid being rude yourself.  Take the high ground and maintain your dignity.  Turn away with a smile. 

There's no excuse for rudeness.

sometimes, too, people want to express concern but are embarrassed by it.  some of the comments probably reflect this lack of social skills.

You are absolutely right.  I have a good friend who is about 6'1" and has always been naturally very lean.  He lifts weights now and so he has a bit of "bulk" to him, but growing up, he was very thin.  I am the opposite, growing up, I was always "the fat girl," but I've lost weight and look much healthier now. 

We both have similar "scars" from our situations, though; people always made comments and treated him a certain way because he was "too skinny," and they did it for me because I was "too fat."  He was just as hurt by that as I was by my own situation.

Being teased or singled out because you don't fit the norm just hurts, plain and simple.  But knowing my friend really opened my eyes to it.  Stay strong, though, you know that you're okay, and the opinions of some rude stranger don't mean a thing.

bump, because this is important.

I agree with you and in fact I think people generally think it's ok to call people "so skinny" or "so tiny" more than calling them fat. It's like they don't realize it can hurt too!

I used to be very very thin in high school and college and I would hear guys saying all the time they wouldn't want to date me for fear of "breaking me" b/c she is "so skinny" or "so boney". It hurt my feelings and definitely made me feel unbeautiful.

Now that I am overweight I get less comments about my weight than when I was thin. People avoid the "fat" talk b/c they think it will hurt your feelings but don't even think about how you might feel if someone calls you "emaciated".

I don't like the "thin" comments either. In fact, I get livid inside when people just talk about my body like I'm some object, like a painting or a vase.

Personally, it makes me so uncomfortable to go to like, family gatherings and I get nonstop comments about my weight. "Look at how thin you are! Way to go!" as if it's the only achievement in my life. Since the last time I saw my relatives, I had graduated from college...but the only thing they talked to me about was my weight and what a grand achievement it was to get so thin.

And I know what you mean by the rude comments, too. People think they're trying to be cute or funny..."Looks like someone needs to eat a hamburger!" Oh, har dee har, and it's just as funny as when I heard it the first billion times- wow!

The comments hurt, no matter the size. It's hard sometimes, but don't let them get to you.

If it's constantly going on at work, let your coworkers know (in a polite way) that you're uncomfortable with them discussing your body...it's your body, not an object at a museum!

i just had an epiphany: when you're overweight, you're invisible; when you're skinny, you're public property.

i was freakishly skinny as a kid, and i remember adults actually trying to count my ribs.  it made me feel like a circus attraction.

Just curious, but do you respond to these comments?  If they are coming from people you know, you might ask them to stop making comments and tell them how you feel.  For the cashiers, you honestly might tell them (though without launching into a huge rant) that their comments are unwelcome or inappropriate.  If you consistently get comments from a certain store, etc., try calling customer service.  I know it sounds like going over the top with a reaction like this, but it might help people understand and give you some space.

Oh yes, I have been getting this treatment for years!  I never really did in high school, but after I had kids, I sure did! 

I once had a group of moms from my church over, and they were talking about weight, etc.  I was very thin after I had my first baby (breastfeeding sucked off the 50 lbs I'd gained plus 10-15 more!) and I'm tall too so I look thinner, I guess.  Anyway, they were talking about weight and losing weight, and one of them made a comment about me, to me, with a not-nice tone to her voice, and this group of about 10 moms that were all older and more "experienced" than me, turned and stared me down.  I was so humiliated and just wanted to crawl under a rock.  Incidentally, the woman who made the comment was on the pretty large side, and it just struck me as "unfair" that because I was skinny I was fair game and my body was free for commenatary, whereas I would've been considered downright nasty if I'd said to her, "you're too big", or something like that, and stared her down like she did to me. 

After I had my 3rd baby, and started losing the weight, by then, I was prepared for what would happen once the weight started to fall of me.  I went to another mom's gathering, and literally braced myself for someone to make a comment, because I knew that they would.  Sure enough, within moments, someone made a comment about me needing to eat more, etc...  But this time around I was a lot more grown up and I just told her that I knew that someone was going to say that, because it happens after every baby I have, and that I do eat, that pregnancy aside, my body was just naturally thin.  I was polite but firm and she understood that I didn't appreciate comments about my size.  She even said that I must get it all the time, and I told her yes, and that I hated it.  LOL  She was a formerly very thin person that got rude comments as well, so she understood, I think she just "forgot". 

So that is how I respond to it now, but I don't get many comments from people I know anymore, because they're just used to it now.  I get the "you're too small to have 3 kids" comments from strangers, but it doesn't bother me enough to say anything to them. 

Oh my gosh, that is so weird: I just posted this same thing on another thread!  I deal with this issue every single day, and when I say something about it, I'm told to "get over it," or "who cares, they're just jealous."  Uhh, it doesn't matter what the motivation behind a comment is, if it's hurtful, it's hurtful.

I watch what I eat every single day, and I go to the gym 5 days a week.  Comments like these make me feel like the work I do every day doesn't matter!  Or, that because I make healthy choices I am somehow weird, abnormal or freakish!  Excuse me?

Oh I feel you! When I created my profile yesterday, I got a little carried away talking about this sort of thing.

I'm 6 feet tall so its easy for what weight I gain to not look obvious to others since I have so many places to store it. But they don't see whats under the clothes. They don't know what size I wear and know that all my other friends my height and age wear pants that are 3 sizes smaller then me. They don't know how "skinny" I've been before and they sure don't understand that I do not feel comfortable being this "big" or at this weight. I get comments at work too. Like "skinny b**ch," or my coworker friends joke that I am "probably a buck 50 soaking wet," and these comments may only be cause I am one of the skinnier people here. AND THEY DO HURT! Its like I am supposed to feel guilty cause I weigh less then them and, how dare I think I need to lose weight and actually attempt to. Or if we have a work potluck and I go for the healthy options, I feel like I get glared at - or I get the comments, "no wonder you're so thin." So then I go back for more and I get the greasy, fatty, sugary options and then its almost like I get a look of acceptance... I feel you. I think we all do on some level. But You can ignore it or you can ask them to stop but whatever you do don't let it manifest inside you...

*sigh*

Ugh...I used to get comments like that all the time.  Almost daily I'd get talked to about being anorexic.  I was 5'2" and about 115 lbs.  C'mon people!  It seems that people are hypersensitive about weight...you're either too skinny or fat.  You can never make them happy.  Honestly, I think people that make comments like that are just jealous or insecure or unhappy with their own bodies.  IF you feel that you're eating habits are a little out of control and are making efforts to see a professional about it, that's great.  That's a struggle for some people.  Try not to let other's dictate how you feel about yourself.  Those comments were just plain rude.

I had to go out for dinner with a few ladies here at work because we were all taking the same night class for some new programe were getting. We would go to say Montana's or Kelsey's and I would always order just a nice big salad. OH man the looks I would get! Its almost like "Were at a restaurant, you cant have only salad!!" And they would constantly ask me if I wanted some dissert or some of their french fries, even after I say "No, Thank you though." I would get comments like "Your getting Sooo skinny!" Or even "too skinny". But it seems to have only come from the people who were not in the best shape or were constantly talking about their Weight Watchers and would pop bags of popcorn at lunch and eat candies all day. Not saying that there terrible people for doing that, just hypocritical. Anyways, Rant Rant Rant Rant Why cant people keep their comments to them selves?

"Jen, your only having a pickle and crackers for lunch?"

"What? No. I have a can of Tuna here too..."

"Thats like no food at all! No wonder your too skinny!"

"What?? I eat my food throughout the day. You cant see me eating when your sitting at your desk..."

"You should eat more." *she bites down on half a pizza she cooked in the toaster oven*

"????? Did you not hear me?"

*with food in her mouth* "Your too skinny"

"I have to go now..."

What I would do is smile and say 'why would you say something like that?' and walk away as if you do not expect a reply.

I would have retorted with: "Perhaps you should try a salad instead of two burgers and a superlarge fry!" and left.

But that's me...