Uh oh...[rant]

I have passed the honeymoon phase, which was full of positivity, high hopes and seemingly endless motivation.

In 2 weeks, I have lost 2.5kg (5.5 pounds) which is awesome and I realise that. But why do I feel so blue? I'm starting to get a little worried...the daily rides that once excited me have now become a burden, YET today when I didn't ride, I missed it. I guess it's a love-hate thing.

I CANNOT quit now. If I do, I will just gain the weight straight back and then some. By October I guarantee I will be back on this website b****ing and moaning about how I have to lose even more weight.

I have to do this at some point, it may as well be now. 

I actually think this is one of those psychological self-sabotage thing - "we are more afraid of our light than our darkness" or whatever the quote is. Because I have failed so many times in the past, it is almost comfortable for me to do it again.

I am sorry that this post is kind of a waste of time for everybody else, it really is just a rant that I should post in a journal, but any kind of support right now would be great. Does anyone else go through these cycles?

It just freaks me out how I can go from being so enthusiastic, to so...blah. I don't wanna quit now

Is it too strict?

I have been on this site half a year ago but came back becuase I gave up my strict routine and it cause me to gain half of my weight back.

This time I have a more positive laid back view on weight loss. I'm also aiming for a slow and consistent weight loss. If it's too stressful, yeah, you might break.

So maybe play some Bob Marley and feel the love :P

For me I get that blue feeling when I feel deprived.  If I've been severely restricting what I eat, I start feeling sorry for myself and all the things that I can't have (forever and ever and ever).  Which is why I usually let myself eat what I want as long as I stay within my calorie range.  My loss has been slow this way -- about 20 pounds in 7 months -- but I really think that I've made a change in lifestyle, not just gone on a diet.

If quitting is part of your "habit" then you're just trying to follow your old habits - which you know don't work! Break the bad habits! Form new ones! (like the riding!)

It's perfectly normal to get the blahs about the whole process. Its hard! And it takes work! And humans are naturally kinda lazy (IMO).

So don't quit. Just push through the blahs and maybe give yourself a day off and then get right back to the things you know will work. If you made too many sudden changes they may seem overwhelming?

It's a bit of a rollercoaster with ups and downs and humps to get over. But in the end you'll be glad you hung on for the ride.

Hang in there! Now is a perfect time to stick to it and do this for YOU.

I think that what you're going through is really natural.  Now that the initial flush of motivation is over, you're realizing what a huge change you're making in your life, and what that means on a day to day level.  Counting calories, exercising, etc. can be exhausting and maybe you need to take it one step at a time instead of rushing into it.  Or maybe you want to try a "cheat day"?  Maybe once a week, cut loose a little, and let your metabolism even itself out...it might help you from hitting plateaus?

I go through bouts of feeling low about my "lifestyle change" as well. Sometimes it just seems so difficult, especially during social functions or times when I have other problems to deal with. It's hard to stay strong through those times, but I think you will get through it and feel enthusiastic again, especially when you see more results. At least, that's what happens to me!

Hang in there. I'm sure you clothes feel better already but when you actually go down a size it feels fantastic!

I am always trigger happy ready to revert to maintenence. And when I have one of these moods that's exactly what I do.

I just realized that my highest priority is not gaining weight back. If it takes me forever to get it off, that's ok, but I don't want to go up and down. I'm just back from 3 weeks of maintenence. Prior to that, I had lost 16 lbs. After my 'break' I feel better, motivated again, and I'm back in. If I need a month off every 20 lbs, then so be it. If you need a week off every 6 lbs, then go for it. Lifestyle changes will be there forever, so there really is no hurry : )

wow - thankyou for everyones replies! its been very motivating to read through them and know that you guys go through the same kind of things.

soupcanx and lsunski - i don't really feel too deprived. i never feel myself wanting something i cant have, and if I do, I am able to work it in. That's most days though - on the bad days (like yesterday) I do start feeling very sorry for myself. However, for once I didn't binge, I just added a few hundred calories for chocolate and worked it into my week. Obviously eating to deal with emotions isn't the best way to go, but it felt pretty controlled. So you are right when you say I feel sorry for myself for being too restrictive. But most of the time, I'm okay with it.

jef9up and foodietootie- yeah, i think it was partly coming to terms with the fact that it is going to be a long process, and it's not going to be effortless in the slightest. once the motivation/novelty ran out, i couldn't believe that i wasn't anticipating my 20k ride anymore. but today, when I did it, i felt great. I kind of realised that the LACK of my ride yesterday, made me feel negative - negative about everything, including riding today, but as soon as I got on the bike that all kind of dissolved. I think I just have to come to terms with the fact that it is an effort to get on the bike, but as soon as I'm on it, I love it. I have to look past the initial effort, with the knowledge that it pays off. Also, I had a semi cheat day yesterday foodwise, which seems to have helped me get back on the wagon today.

penkwin - social functions are IMPOSSIBLE! well, obviously not impossible, but definitely a challenge. especially when alcohol is involved. i have been trying to avoid going out too much - but then again, if i want to live this lifestyle forever, i can't exactly be a hermit. just have to work on it!

chris1208 - i have just started so my clothes feel sliiiightly looser - i can notice less belly rolls (Yaaay!) but i can't wait until I can see solid differences, and go down a size...its only been 3 weeks, so i'm trying to obey some old rule i heard about waiting 6 weeks to see physical changes. paaatience :)

minda_spk - you are right. i need to be so much more patient than i have been. i've always been like this - i almost find it easier to put in a huge effort than a moderate one, just because the results seem to come quicker. however, this puts a lot more pressure on, and if i don't see huge results quickly, i get discouraged. that sounds kind of like i'm a textbook yo-yo dieter, but i honestly do believe this method works for me - just every now and then i get a bit down (like yesterday), but usually i can pick myself up.

Original Post by applemilk1:

However, for once I didn't binge, I just added a few hundred calories for chocolate and worked it into my week. Obviously eating to deal with emotions isn't the best way to go, but it felt pretty controlled. So you are right when you say I feel sorry for myself for being too restrictive. But most of the time, I'm okay with it.

I think for that, you can be totally proud of yourself!  You indulged in a little treat, but didn't overdo it, and you know that you can prep yourself to make up for it by doing "just one more kilometer" or "just two more laps."  It doesn't have to be all at once, of course, but by the end of the week, you would have made up for the chocolate and still got to have it!  How much better can that arrangement be?!

Original Post by applemilk1:

chris1208 - i have just started so my clothes feel sliiiightly looser - i can notice less belly rolls (Yaaay!) but i can't wait until I can see solid differences, and go down a size...its only been 3 weeks, so i'm trying to obey some old rule i heard about waiting 6 weeks to see physical changes. paaatience :)

It will come.  I'm on my last belt notch right now and got to treat myself yesterday by buying a smaller belt.  I can wear the smaller one, but I want to hold off until the belt I'm wearing right now is no longer useable, which means that I can hold it aloft like a trophy!

But it's also taken me 2 months to get to this point, so you're definitely not alone!

I lost 60 lbs and have kept most of it off for the past 2 years.  But it is always a struggle...even now I'm back to logging because I'm up 10 lb. again.  But there are three things that helped me:

1. Fear.  Serioiusly, it's uncomfortable, but it's the fear of being fat and unhealthy, and going back to what I was at or worse that keeps me constantly thinking about it.  Even when I'm not dieting, I still try to make better decisions (though when I do fail it's usually at restuarants or when I try to cook something special)  But fear of failure is a fantastic motivator.  Much better than the guilt after failing anyway.

2. Happiness.  I really like the way I look.  I am at a good point in my life healthwise and appearancewise and I can't help but thing that's helped other aspects as well...not just because I look better, but because I feel better about myself.  Even when I was at my heaviest I looked forward to that and now that I have it I'm really glad I went through the pain.  (I was on a 1200-1350 cal very strict diet for 9 months and have occassionally gone back to that anytime I slip a little).  Looking forward to a good, healthy, happy time helped me a lot and the closer I got to it the better I felt (less tired, more energetic, better self-impression, compliments from others) the more I knew it was worth it.  Keep that shiny hope alive and embrace the happiness and good feelings as they grow!

3. Prizes for yourself.  In my case - clothes and tattoos.  Maybe not for everyone, but I mostly had pretty old dumpy clothes at my heaviest and didn't feel much motivation to do much about it.  As I got thinner I got rid of more and more of my old clothes and started getting much nicer ones to replace them.  That felt good too, and gives me motivation to stay smaller since if I go back, none of my nice new stuff will fit!  As for the tattoo...I'd always wanted to get this one big one of a phoenix (bird), but was scared to because tattoos change as your body does.  I got one when I lost weight as a prize for myself and now it is also a motivator not to go back!  Wouldn't want my bird to stop being pretty :)