uh today

in recovery from ed for a long time. but had a wisdom tooth extraction this morn. stayed at home feelin sorry for myself today but over ate. wasnt bothered and had plenty peanut butter, and some choc and some bread and lah lah lah. prob hav had about 2500.... grrrrr

i can always forgive myself on the days i have a deficit, but the guilt of overeating seems to linger on and on and the self loathing

sometimes i wish it was simpler

2,500 is not that bad!  your maintaining - I've heard dieters in 'weight loss' complain about more.  (i mean that is only about 1,000 more then maintnance)
i just wanted to say i hope you feel better and enjoy the percocet.  ;)

After your past restriction and etc, maybe over eating still makes you feel like a giant slob in comparison (to how the ED wanted you to be, which was restricting, skinny and ill)

Logically, for a while your ED only made you feel okay if you were starved, so it makes sense that over eating will still clash against the other extreme desire that the ED had for you (for you to be overly thin)

All I can think of is that the sever restriction still makes over eating feel much bigger then it actually is.

Good on you for being so proactive - you have said in other posts that you have gotten professional help, and you can also come on here and talk through how you feel when you feel “ off”

I am glad you came on here and put it out there, instead of letting things just stay inside. Your very proactive which is inspiring.

Btw - I had all four wisdom teeth extracted late last year. It was AWFUL. Woke up in such discomfort - I could not breath. Hope your not too sore!

Were you referring to me with when you mentioned the people who “ eat natural, minimally processed foods” who are “maintaining on low BMI”S?

I eat this way because it is what I believe in - it has nothing to do with weight or control - I eat in a way that I feel makes my body function at its best.

I want to function optimally so I can reach all my potentials in life; not so I can attain a certain weight.

I do not eat processed foods or man made additives because I do not feel like them, and I do not want to eat them just because every one else does. I do what feels best for me.

And I do not care about my BMI: it is about 19, and I maintain this on a normal amount of calories; my only goal is to try to eat when I am hungry, enjoy and appreciate that I have all food I need, and then to not think about food until I am hungry again. A very simple aim, that is hard after living through an ED!

ALSO - I also cannot plan meals/ snacks/ put any extra focus on food.

I watch desperate house wives every Monday night so I would try to plan a treat each time; I would ALWAYS end up either feeling like and then eating the treat BEFORE the show, OR I would have thought about it too much to actually enjoy it while I had it; also, I realized that I can not PLAN what I will feel like a day in advance!

So now I just have all my favorite treats in the house, and wait until I feel like something before I have it…. So normal yet it took me a while to do!

no!! not referring to you!

I do mention natural/unprocessed eating a lot in posts so I just want to make sure that you do not have the wrong idea!

Eating naturally fixed a lot of health issues, and it allowed me to think clearly enough to be able to start studying again. I just do not see a reason to eat artificial stuff; I want to get a degree in food science/nutrition and my research and years of experimenting with diet simply lead this conclusion. My focus is on health, not weight.

I also started 2 topics when I first joined, at least one of which you commented on! In these posts I was desperate and anxious about my new weight (I had been much smaller for a long time), which I was, so I understand if I came across as a bad example

You and AGRU actually annoyed me when I first came on this site! Your straight forward, no nonsense advice was a little hard to take but this is now something that stands out a lot about you, and that I also appreciate.

Some of the posts also upsets me too and it is essential that people explain the hard facts, because frankly, some people give advice that is just too “nice” instead of just saying “ if you don’t stop doing this, this will happen” and etc.