Ummmm.. Im Curious.. Is It Normal For Girls To Have Feelings For Other Girls And Not B Lesbian..

I just wanted 2 know it its normal cause Im like in love with my best friend.... and was hoping I wasn't.. are those feelings.. normal or am I *gulp* BI

I think we just find ourselves loving the people we do and we can't always predict whether they will be a man, woman, will have certain characteristics, etc.

Why the "gulp"? If you love her, that's awesome!

Perhaps its best to concentrate on that than whether that love characterizes you a certain way, or with a certain stigma in society. Easier said than done, I realize, but it really shouldn't matter what you are labeled or what others think of you if you're in love with someone who makes you feel loved and respected back.

I think it's normal. I think it's natural. I don't think you should worry about it.

It is so definitely normal to have feelings for other girls and not be lesbian. Especially as a teen. Your hormones and emotions are going nuts, believe me, I know it. These feelings might very well go away in a few years or maybe a few weeks

Did you know MOST teens think about experimenting with the same sex at some point? It's the minority that don't ever have those thoughts.

Only you can really decide whether you're bi or hetero.. but either way you are still "normal", you know. 

 

Well ya but then its breakin it to my folks and then the whole society looks @ u funny and hey Im only 14 so I guess I dont know if I really love her. I just keep having these images of me making out with her and stuff..... just wanted to kno

I think there's a wide spectrum between being completely hetero and being completely not, and I doubt there are very few who fall in at the extreme ends.

In other words, most people are a bit mixed, sexually, which means you're more like most people than not.

Keep in mind you're still young (I didn't pay attention to this when I first responded) and you're just starting to explore your sexulaity. Give it awhile to develop. Also, you'll probably see that who we're drawn to isn't always so defintive or categorizable.

Original Post by hgielrehtaeh:

I think it's normal. I think it's natural. I don't think you should worry about it.

 Yup. I agree.

Can't help who you are, so if you love and adore her, keep on doin' so. 

I don't fall in love with other girls (I honestly hate most girls and have only found one I can tolerate on a regular basis) but I do find some girls to be attractive.  I don't really consider myself to be bi-curious, I just like watching their boobies bounce.

Hell she keeps avoiding the fact of boys like she wants to tell me a secret but can't. Whenever i talk bout boys and her taste she drifts away from the subject. Im not going to mention that i like her until she tells me her sex preference. I mean how akward is that?

"Hey I just wanted to let you know that I think your'e sexy and nice and want to go out with you." How akward would ur friendship be if she wasn't lesbian?*edit*

 

 

I love my best friend. Honestly- I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her. Does that mean I'm sexually attracted to her? No. I AM sexually attracted to my male fiance.

You said that you're 'only 14' but my future brother in law has always been homosexual. He's always been attracted to men. For that matter, I think that anyone can fall in love with anyone else, male or female. 

um...it seems like you don't want to be labeled lesbian or bi; what makes you think it's necessary to label your friend a "lesbo"?

if your friendship is solid, it can withstand a little honesty.  just suck it up and tell her what you're feeling.

Well, it's normal, but it's also not the end of the world if you are a lesbian or bisexual. Those are really accepted lifestyles nowadays, and I think the coming generation will accept them even more than the last ones have.

So, just go with your feelings! Even if you experiment at this age with girls and then later decide you like men, that still doesn't mean you're bisexual or a lesbian. It just means you explored your sexuality with other girls. No biggie. Don't stress out over it!

yeah but what about my friend! I know how I feel but....

so really you want help in how to figure out if she feels the same way?  dunno girls are smarter than boys... maybe you should like have a sleep over or something and watch a movie that maybe has lesbians or gay people in it, and bring it up.  like... "have you ever thought that maybe you were gay?"  and then see what happens....

it's always a risk to tell someone how you feel, regardless of gender.  just be honest.  if you ask her, you're just putting her on the spot and probably making her feel vulnerable to your rejection.  just say you have feelings for her and go from there. 

I can't risk her friendship. I think ill just straight up ask her.

"What was that secret?" or "Hey do you like girls, I won't tell, you know I loooove you"

like everyone else said i wouldn't worry about what your sexual label is right now. no matter what love is love and thats all that really matters =) I would be careful though because she is your best friend and mixing friendship and romance is never easy. if you feel like she might have the same feelings for you then you should take that chance!

Good luck!

ha ha i just texted her bout the secret. Uhhh... shes yet to answer me.

I think I have the same sort of problem.  I'm not gay, but I have had feelings for some guy friends before.  I personally was too chicken to do anything about it.  I think it's perfectly normal (socially and psychologically) to question your sexuality and to have feelings for friends.  I wouldn't worry about it one bit.

It's perfectly normal to have feelings for people regardless of gender. Loving someone and being 'in love ' with them differ though. Sexual preference is just that your preference. However, feelings of love for someone doesn't mean you're bisexual.Lusting after someone of the same sex is a different story. Nobody here can answer this question for you it's based on your personal preference. At the same time I don't think you're ready to answer it yourself yet.

 If you just ' looooove her ' that's not  sexual preference.It's a combination of feelings with ' lust.' That would make it a sexual preference.  But, either way at 14 years old I'd suggest you giving your sexuality time to develop. My daddy told me at your age "You have attributes of a woman, but that doesn't mean you're ready to use all of them."

I'm not trying to sway or change you in any way. I believe everyone should be happy, but as we get older it's hard to remember what  our thought process even was at different stages. Shoot. If we had even used one.  Our bodies are just making the motions and we're floating by. Everything about you will become more defined as you grow. I'm not pulling that ' when you're older " card. There isn't a certain age or a certain time. It's different for everyone .... But, sometimes our bodies and hormones are interested in things. That doesn't mean we should act on impulse or those desires. I think you should take time to grow with them and allow yourself to mature along with your sexuality. 

 In your profile it states " Ia m a confused and troubled individual with a poor self image and a pot belly. " I think this is a sure sign that your ' confusion ' has a lot to do with the timing in your life. Don't label yourself before you even meet yourself. There won't be any confusion once everything catches up.

i think the idea that you're either gay or straight [or bi] from birth is largely a political idea.  there's little scientific evidence of it, and more and more people are recognizing that sexuality and sexual preference are, to some degree, flexible.

add to that the fact that you're at a point in your life when everything is a little sexual, and it's easy to confuse love and sexual attraction.  after all, friendship is based on attraction just as much as lust is. 

i think this can be even more confusing for girls and women, because sexual attraction tends to be more of an intellectual thing for us; for boys and men, it's much more about appearance and physicality.  but if you've ever watched a bunch of adolescent boys together, you've probably noticed that they can't keep their hands off each other.  yes, it looks more like aggression that affection, but it's still about hormones.