Unspoken rules!

ix asked a few questions, in her journal, about how often we wash the bed linen and turning the matresses, etc. This started me to think about all the unspoken rules we live by and how they affect who we are, what we eat, how we live.

 What unspoken rules do you live by? eg.  I learned, as a child, to eat everything on my plate because thousands of children were starving (as if I, as a child, had any control over world starvation). To this day I do not like to leave food on my plate...even if I am full.How does this impede how we loose weight or maintain it.

Lets start a list and see where we go with it.

always take your shoes off at other peoples houses, even if they insist its okay to leave them on....

Say excuse me if you bump into someone!!  I hate it when someone bumps you and just carries on like it never happened - makes me want to go after them!! :) 

Being in the "Clean plate club" is not good for you!- luckily my Mom never did that and told me to never do that to my kids - we train ourselves to overeat that way - a newborn baby will NEVER eat more than it needs for optimal growth unless there is a health issue of some kind.  Always give kids small servings and don't let them have the goodies if they are pulling one over on you!!  :)  

one general rule that we always live by is not to ask questions that are way too personal (about what happens in the bedroom or behind closed doors in general).

Ah yes!  The clean plate club!  The habit stays with us into adulthood.  I have friends who are shocked when I tell them I throw food away, discard egg yolks, and leave food on my plate in restaurants.  Apparently "wasting" food is a mortal sin!

I was also taught as a kid to eat everything on my plate.  Then as I got older I had a great Aunt who was huge in to old fashioned manners (she was my grandmothers sister and she never had kids) and she always said it wasn't "lady like" to eat everything on you plate.  I'm bad about eating everything on the plate, though now I try not to put more on my plate than I should eat.

Another random unspoken rule is, that if someone lets you pass them while in the car or let you in line on the road during a crowded time of the day, then you give the polite wave to that person.

my grandmother has taught me lots of things over the years, but the one thing that stands out is the one time we were making the bed and she told me that the open ends of the pillow cases should always face the edges of the bed, never the middle. i was probably like 8, but to this day i have always made the bed so that the pillows ends face the edge.

That makes me think... the tag on the comforter always has to be at the bottom right of the bed (if your standing at the foot of the bead facing the headboard.)

Oh!  and always set the alarm clock so you can hit "snooze" at least twice.  :)  Kelly

Isn't it funny how the things we are taught in childhood stay with us even once we grow up and learn it is possible to do things another way?

I, too, am a member of the clean plate club.  It's hard for me to "waste good food" and boy, does it show!

Another habit that carries over from childhood is I work very hard not to touch anything at all in public restrooms.  Not even the doors!

• Eat what you can, what you can't, we'll can!  --momism

I guess that's my answer to the clean platers out there :)

Mom's rules:

Never dust around things - lift them up and dust under.

If you clean well around the edges of a room, the middle will take care of itself.

Always wash the dishes first and the pots last. (this is pre-dishwasher).

Make you bed neatly as soon as you get up and your room will look neat.

If you clean out one drawer a day, your drawers will always be organized.

Ugh. I'll join the clean plate club. It's probably half the reason I'm here - I ALSO cleaned off my daughter's plate for a long time.

Ditto at saying excuse me to people when you bump into them.
And at making the bed. Yep... I line up the pillow cases the same way.
Yeah... and same with public restrooms, but then, I work in health. There's a good reason to open that door with a piece of paper towel.
Nodding @ snooze, too...

Apparently I'm a freak.

But, I pepper people with personal questions. The one seriously wrong thing with my job is that I regularly forget that people don't share my boundaries. All day, I talk about things that polite people wouldn't think to even bring up in conversation, so I'm a real hoot at dinner parties. (I didn't realize how limiting this could be until I joined the Chambre of Commerce and had 50-something men practically vaulting tables to get away from me. Apparently the introduction, "I handle placentas," is not approved by Dale Carnegie.)

I have a story for y'all that I use in class. It's  à propos.

A woman and her new husband were in the kitchen about to cook a ham. Getting the cleaver from the drawer, she began to cut off the ends of the ham. "Why are you doing that?" asked her husband. "Because that's what you have to do to cook a ham," she explained patiently. "I've never seen that done before," he said. "Are you sure that's how it's done?" "Yes," she said. "You have to cut both ends of the ham off before you bake it." "Why?" he asked.

She paused... actually... she had no idea why. She decided to call her mother.

"Mom, why do you cut the ends off the ham when you bake it?"
"Because that's the correct way to bake it," said her mom.
"Why?"
"You know, I have no idea. I learned from your grandmother. Why don't you call her?"

So the woman called her grandmother.
"Gran, do you always cut the ends off your ham before you bake it?"
"Yes, dear," said her grandmother.
"Why?"
"Because, dear, it's the only way it will fit into my baking pan."

Apologizing even if somebody bumps into you. Really just apologizing a lot in general for anything. XP

Always asking if somebody needs help

Saying thank you to everybody

Taking off shoes when you enter a house, no matter if they say so or not

Clearing dishes, even at a friend's house

There's more, but I can't think of them right now. ^^;;

Never call someone on the phone before 9a.m. or after 9p.m.

I'm also a member of the clean plate club...a habit I am trying to break.  Luckily I have a big yellow lab who is more than happy to help me out on that one.

Always leave 10 minutes earlier than you need to so you are never late...I spend a lot of time in my car waiting for time to pass so I'm also not too early ;-)

I loved the story cmillington!  My mom, dad, step-mom, mother-in-law, and husband all work in health care... so we have very interesting dinner conversations sometimes.  :)  Kelly

cmillington: love the story and it is so true. I am such a creature of habit that once I am programmed I am good for life. Working at changing this.

Great story, cmillington!   I wish I could sit next to you at parties - anything that scares 50 year old men sounds like fun to me!  So you're not the only freak out there!

I can't turn my mattress! Its made not to be, oddly.

1 - I never call someone before 9am of after 9pm unless i know they are up
2 - I open the door for everyone
3 - I always say thank you
4 - I'm open and honest with everyone, but tactful as not to offend
5 - I always ask if i should take my shoes off at someone's house
6 - I always let people cross the road when they have right of way (ie. at junctions)
7 - I only let one person out when i sliproad joins the motorway (doesn't create traffic back ups)
8 - I always leave enough space for my neighbour to park her car outside her house

there are more, but i dont really think about them

1. Always let people off the elevator / subway car / bus before you get on.
2. Never chew with your mouth open, or talk with your mouth full
3. When giving a handshake it should be firm but not bone-shattering.
4. Always, always cover your mouth when sneezing or coughing (preferrably with the crook of the elbow).
5. Excuse yourself if you burp or yawn in the presence of another human being.
6. Never stop suddenly infront of an escalator or doorway, or basically any high-traffic public area.
7. If someone offers you a mint or a piece of gum, ALWAYS take it, it's a polite way of saying your breath stinks.
8. Swearing consistantly in regular conversation shows that you have no class.
9. Always offer the last slice of pizza / doughnut / celery stick to others before taking it yourself.
10. Let people finish what they have to say before speaking yourself... unless the person doesn't shut up.
11. Don't prattle on constantly when conversing, ne ver letting anyone else get a word in edgewise.
12. When meeting someone you know, when you're with someone that doesn't know this person, ALWAYS introduce the two. 
13. Don't interrupt someone who is reading or listening to their MP3 player to ask them the time.

I have more but can't think of them....

1.  always allow a man to open a door for you.

2.  never hold hands with your friends (just friends, really)

3.  during a hug, unless a person is intimate with you, never allow your "chest area" to touch the other person

4.  (i learned this one the hard way).  Females should never pay for the meal on the first date.  WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?

5.  when single women have people over the place must be immaculate or it's considered messy, when single men have a disaster area going on at their place, it's a "bachelor pad"

6.  taking off your shoes and sitting indian style in a restaurant (wearing pants)

7.  everything else