really upset..did i make a wrong choice?

i just ate Nissin noodle with 1 fried eggs.. I asked for half noodle and half vermicilli but it seems like they gave me the whole noodle and one pack vermicilli.. There is like a HUGE bowl of it that makes me wonder if they put in 2 pack of instant noodles instead of one..Because i never work in a restaurant,or any other places before.. So here's a question for you people who work in a food court/restaurant places before..

How many pack of noodles is in one bowl of noodles when you eat in a restaurant?

Did you put extra oil in?

How many calories is in it?estimate.. (very important)

You realise that at 55kgs (121lbs) and 166cm (5'5") you're not even approaching fat.... you're really quite slim?  'Handsome' and 'emaciated' are really not the same things.  You making yourself ill doesn't stop families from falling out either. 

Your target of 51/52kgs would put you borderline underweight and, if you can't keep at that weight, that's probably why..... bodies don't like being forced to be too thin.   It's not healthy.  Bingeing is a direct result of starving... it's sheer self-preservation.

I say all this because you seem disproprtionately anxious and upset around the prospect of eating a bowl of noodles or a little oil ....  Your diary entries on your profile are also quite disturbing.  Have you sought professional help?  Seen a doctor?  If I were you I would stop dieting, stop counting calories and start loving myself just as I am. I think it would be better for your state of mind.

sought professional help? the only help i sought was from my cousins and friends but they were NO help at all..All they said about was I'm silly.. I'm mad..I'm crazy..Stop cutting myself..

sigh..If its that easy, I would have stop doing it..I don know but i somehow feel comfortable hurting myself. I mean i can't hurt others so I aim my anger at myself.. Depress.. This is so stupid i know but I just paranoid..All these years of dieting is doing thing to my head..argh!!!

You really need to get professional help and your cousins and friends aren't it. Listen to gi jane

Original Post by weightconsious:

If its that easy, I would have stop doing it..

That's why we have doctors and therapists and other specialists on how the body and brain work....  No it's not easy to change behavioural & psychological problems but they can help you, provided you ask them for help and provided you're prepared to work with them.  You're not mad or crazy but you're struggling mentally.   Dieting isn't helping your state of mind in the slightest.... The brain needs to be fed properly to work properly.  Starve the brain of nourishment and you're at greater risk of anxiety, depression, delusions and a very skewed and miserable view of the world.  Add that to living in a stressful environment and you can easily tip over the edge... which you have done.  (A big bowl of noodles with liberal amounts of oil would, ironically, do you good.)

Being even thinner fixes nothing.   Harming yourself fixes nothing.   As I said earlier.... stop dieting, stop counting calories.  And make an appointment straight away to see your doctor.  They can help you.

is there any free doctor? cause i'm totally broke and my mum only call me crazy if i told her i want to see a doctor..

I just binge in another 8000 calories today..feeling so depress now.. can it really help not counting calories? I'm afraid..

I don't know what country you live in and what healthcare arrangements are but there is usually some kind of emergency service available, even if the general health-care isn't free.   Are there services like the Samaritans?  Charitable clinics?  You're very anxious, self-harming, binge-eating, starving .... you could very easily be suffering from clinical depression which is a serious but treatable medical condition.  I would class that as an emergency, even if your mother doesn't think it's a problem.  (Does she know the full story...?)

If there are some responsible people that you can turn to .... teachers, counsellors, an employer, a trusted older relative.... ask them about emergency health-care.   You need help, not a message board.  

I SECOND GI JANE

PLEASE DO SOME RESEARCH IN YOUR AREA about doctors offices nearby where you can go.

u are beautiful but u are wasting your life. you may think you can control things by dieting binging and purging, but READ YOUR POSTS, it is very clear that your disorders have total control over YOU, and if u think your mother will go crazy, well she might but it will be a panic response. she will calm down and do everything to help you because u r her child and she loves you

love yourself, stop abusing, tell your mother and ask for help now.