I-used-to-be-anorexic-but-now-I'm-a BINGER Support Group!

Any others in this situation? I was a binger even about a year or so before I became anorexic. Then, I was anorexic for 10 months and about 4 months after I began recovery, I went back into the binging routing. At this point I have not gone a single day without binging in about a month. Stress seems to make it worse (and lack of sleep).
So... this is the place where we can support each other and share our tips and tricks for not binging.

The key to stave off cravings is having a good breakfast - at least 300-400 calories to hold you off for a while. This will immediately feed your body and tell it, "It's alright, I won't starve you anymore - see, I'm giving you food!" A good breakfast helps you feel more full during the day.

What foods do you binge on? Cereal? Peanut butter? Ice cream? I can understand that with the whole box/jar/tub out and begging to be eaten, it can be tempting. To solve this, I suggest that you buy pre-portioned products. For example, the small cereal boxes, the single serve peanut butter packs (they're tiny, lol) and ice cream that doesn't come in a gallon or tub, but small portions, like fudgesicles.

Also, if you're having a peanut butter sandwich or something, get your dallop of peanut butter and PUT IT AWAY. The longer a food like that sits out, the more tempting it is.

I'm feeling so great! Today was healthy, healthy, and by being good to myself throughout the entire day, I FINALLY didn't give in to the binging demons! What hit me right over the head (like a baseball bat that I wish came ages ago) is that my body tells me it's hungry for a REASON. I've never been an emotional eater, and it's, at long last, time for me to trust my signals! Thank goodness, grazing is actually a really healthy way to feed your body... I just ate a lot of little things, spread out through my day -- filled myself up gently with lots of fruit, veg, protein, complex carbs. The urge to binge only briefly flitted through my mind. If you're recovering from anorexia, I'm right there with you -- and just try try try to treat yourself like the best thing around, and acknowledge what your bod is aching for! And now I hope I'll follow this advice, with you guys. ^^;

wow that's great, i would love to get to that point! congrats!! keep it up!

Muttlover! I used your advice about the big breakfast and this morning I had a glass of OJ (I usually just have water) with a bowl of special K with skim milk, and a Yobaby yogurt. I felt so full but I did not binge today for the first time in a long time. I feel so amazing right now. Thank you!!!!!!

Folkloric, great job! That is so true. We need to treat out bodies well and realize that we do deserve to be healthy and that our bodies deserve food when we are hungry.

Keep it up everyone!

i've just recently seen a lot more anorexic-turned-binger posts in this forum, so i decided to bump this thread. i really think we should have a closer support group like the new ED recovery thread. that way maybe we can support and keep each other accountable for each day. i'll start off by putting my meal plan for tomorrow:

B: a fruit, cereal, and almond milk
L: Amy's No Chicken Noodle Soup
S: Tuna Salad
D: Whatever my mom makes for dinner

When I first went into recovery my therapist told me that after recovery 1/3 of anorexics recover completely, 1/3 of anorexics relapse within 5 years and 1/3 of anorexics go the opposite way and gain loads of weight either through bulimia or COE. I was always determined not to be in the last 1/3, and I recovered up to 135lbs eating relatively normally and I was ok for a bit, then I relapsed. I think I have the ability definitely to end up in this boat, I am relapsing now, but for the first times ever I have binged and purged. I worry it is going to suddenly take over and I am going to blow up :S

i thought i was the only one!!! this has been affecting me the past month, i'm trying to stop, it's so hard.     

I'd like to join in too. Well, I wouldn't "like to" but, I'm unfortunately in the same sinking boat as all of you here.

For about as long as I can remember, I was a (emotional?) binge eater that is, up until Halloween in 2005, when I finally decided it was time to change things. First it was just eating a little less, fewer sweets and all of the junk I'd usually throw down without thinking -- I finally learned to love vegetables and am now a (usually) happy vegan! Then came the exercise. A few months later, I learned what a calorie is and thus began the downward spiral.

The day before Thanksgiving (Oh, the irony!) 2006, I was sent inpatient for anorexia and was in the hospital until two days after New Years. By the end of January, having not heeded the warnings of my social worker/therapist from the Partial hospitalization program, I was sent back inpatient after losing several lbs over the course of a little less than a month. About three more weeks and back to Partial I went. They tried to send me in again a third time and that's when I left AMA and decided, since their program wasn't working, to try something else. This would be when the binging began anew.

After a while, I started at a gym and got down to a dangerous weight around Christmas time, which would be when a few family members began to ask, ''you don't want to go back into the hospital... do you?'' which triggered another binging episode. This was over two months ago and I'm still stuck in this cycle. Needless to say, it's getting old.

I like the support idea here. Perhaps we could share meal plans or something, as SubwayBusker suggested? I like the idea of being accountable with people who understand what's going on. My mother does her best but she, luckily for her, hasn't been in a situation like this and just doesn't quite ''get it.'' Thank god.

Anyways, enough of my long-windedness. It's wonderful that this thread was started and I wish all of us the best in our recovery! :)

At this point in time, I am anorexic. i'm 5ft 3in and 87 pounds.  But I've recently started to give in to the fact that I need to gain weight. That's the problem....binge....I've started to binge every 4 or 5 days because I get so sick of eating sooooo incredibly healthy and low calorie that allI want is sugar or carbs of junk.  I end up binging on things I don't like, things I don't eat, then I get so sick and miserable that I go back to starving myself for the next 4 days or so, then it happens all over again. I hate it and just want it to stop but I don't know how.  I try so hard and each time I tell myself, ok this is it , it's going to work, but it doesn't.  and now, I'm always bloated, always tired, miserable and sick.  My acne has come back because of all the sugar and I've gained only about 2 pounds but I hate it cause it's all unhealthy weight that's all jiggly and disgusting. Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

ManiacJTHM, I suggest step one for you would be to try getting a schedule set in place.

Do you have anyone to eat with you? I know I'm far less likely to binge if other people around. In fact, it's usually the exact opposite, I won't eat if others are around, "watching." This excludes my mum though and I try to set up meals with her as often as possible. I know from experience that, especially when you're just starting off into recovery, having a good support system and people you can rely on are crutial.

Also easier said than done but, don't beat yourself over all this **** that's going on. You've starved your mind so much (I'm 5' 4'' and my lowest weight on record was only slightly lower than yours) that you're probably not going to react to food ''regularly'' for a while. I've met many women, girls, and young men that have had the same experience as you and I and nearly all of them mentioned that they went through a period when they were never ''full'' and ''always hungry.'' I think this is just a natural thing, you're body gets so excited after having been deprived of so many different tastes and textures it just kind of goes into overdrive.

Granted, I'm no MD or dietitian but, I am speaking from personal experience.

Another thing, definitely find a decent therapist or counselor to speak with. I'm in the process of finding a new one now and think that it will probably be easier to get a grip on things once some other matters have been sorted out.

Best of luck, darling. Keep your chin held high and don't give up, ever!

Bump. This is a great thread. I'm not anorexic. I got to my goal weight and loved losing so much that I kept going. In March my doctor told me to gain ten pounds. I stopped logging and ate 4000+ calories a day and gained about 12 lbs in three weeks. Now, I can't stop. I don't care what I eat or how many calories and I NEVER feel satisfied. I don't know what to do, I'm almost 15 lbs above my lowest weight (115 to 129 in the past month). I want to stop, but I also want cereal and ice cream.

I'm glad there are people out there that I can relate with!

Don't you wish we can just say good bye to binges or the guilt that comes after it?

What a perfect world that would be :)

Hey everyone! How are you all doing? I think I am going to try mini-meals and just eating whenever I am hungry. I tried three meals a day and no snacks. That worked for a while until one day, when I hadn't eaten for 8.5 hours, I decided that it wasn't going to work. We'll see how this goes!

Original Post by ser25:

Bump. This is a great thread. I'm not anorexic. I got to my goal weight and loved losing so much that I kept going. In March my doctor told me to gain ten pounds. I stopped logging and ate 4000+ calories a day and gained about 12 lbs in three weeks. Now, I can't stop. I don't care what I eat or how many calories and I NEVER feel satisfied. I don't know what to do, I'm almost 15 lbs above my lowest weight (115 to 129 in the past month). I want to stop, but I also want cereal and ice cream.

Hey ser25, I've read some of your posts and THIS post you just made struck me because I think we have a lot in common. We're in the same boat. I lost a bunch of weight and i loved it but had to gain some back because it was starting to look a little unhealthy. I had a breif flirtation with anorexia but have gained about 7 lbs since. Anyways i am eating all the right things but have a big problem with binging no matter how many nutrients i get a day.  I am scared that even when i get my BMI up i will continue to binge and binge and it won't go away because it has just been embedded in my mentality or i dont know but i crave chocolate nuts and ice cream everyday..i dont always fall in to it, but lately ive been eating it at least once a day..

I've been binging for the past few months, and because of being on an injury, I can't really run as much as I used to. I didn't really THINK I was anorexic before - I wasn't consciously starving myself, just counting obsessively - but despite the fact that I ate this site's recommended calories, I kept dropping weight.

I'm 5'1" and was 103-105lbs at my lowest; I was 140lbs before, extremely inactive, and very unhappy. I want to get back to sports; I want to run; I want it more than anything else and I can't go back to it, and my inability to do anything is fueling my stupid binges. I'm about 118-120lbs now, which IS in a healthy range and a good weight for my height, but I wish more of it was muscle and I wish it hadn't been gained from binging, but healthy eating. I was having some health problems as a result of restricting before (even though I wasn't 'technically' underweight), and being at a slightly higher weight is probably good for me, but not this high. My body just doesn't feel right right now - I feel best when I'm in the 112-115lbs weight range. This might seem like a very small gap for taller people, but when you're my height, there's a big difference between 110 and 120.

I just don't want to go back to the way I was.

Wow, this is my first post ever.  I have been a long time lurker, and after binging all night last night, cheesecake, waffles, ice cream, Fruity Pebbles...gosh, all this crap I don't even like, and I  still haven't gotten into my bed to sleep, I decided it was time I got some support.  I finally threw out the rest of the cereal box, stopped crying, and got back on this site and said to myself, this is too hard to do by yourself.  For me, being a college kid, living in a house away from my parents with this tiny little girl who LOVES chocolate and sugar cereal and can eat whatever she wants because of some mesmerizing metabolism, has been extremely difficult.  And despite the group that I go to at my university and my counselor, I sometimes feel like no one understands. I sit here and read your posts after consuming thousands of empty calories, and for some reason, it makes me feel better to know that I am not alone.  You guys are all amazing and wonderful, and it pisses me off so much that we have all had to go through this.   I too have started that nonsensical binging, restricting, binging cycle,  and it really wears at your spirit.   I flirted with an eating disorder like many of you.  I loved exercising a bit too much, and became compulsive about counting calories.  I am currently 101 and 5'4,  though my weight fluctuates A LOT.  I went to London for study abroad this fall and got to my lowest weight of 90 lbs simply because of depression.  I used to run religiously, was actually training for the Boulder Boulder up here in Colorado, but as soon as I was hospitalized because of a low heart rate and exhaustion, the running stopped, the binging started, and I feel lazy, out off control, out of my mind, and pathetic.  How I want to kick this darn futile obsession with food and weight!  It has jeopardized my academics, has cost me many friends, and has hurt my family in the process.  I finally joined this site, am looking for support and friends, and am eager to attack stupid little Ana and Mia (which need to leave all of our lives for good.)

flashdance9 - I just read your post today. God it's tough, eh? Today I ate an entire banana nut loaf. (And 6 cookies, a tub of yogurt, a mango, half a cantaloupe, strawberries, cereal... all to avoid a 180-calorie chocolate bar!) The cake and cookies were freezer burned and awful - I baked them over 18 months ago, but I still ate them. With whipped cream.

squashmeister - totally get the not being anorexic, but consumed by counting and weighing. If it's not too personal, what kind of health problems did restricting cause you?

danisteater - wow, you've just described what I'm going through. I'm determined to not let this develop into an ED and I'm super-glad you're getting help and support. Exercise is a great drug to relieve the pain of perceived overeating sometimes. Let me know if you have any ideas on how to get rid of these silly self-destructive ideas.

everyone - I'm really glad you're all here. Knowing that others are going through this make me less hard on myself. Less self-punishment = less likely to binge and easier time starting fresh tomorrow (again). Today and yesterday were very bad, but I don't feel judged here and I appreciate that very much. Being open and hearing others talk openly about it is both touching and helpful. Thanks.

Well, let's see.

1. I'm bulimic, depressed, and until recently was throwing up blood and contemplating suicide. The whole she-bang.

2. I've lost a good deal of friendships I would have had if I hadn't been restricting, since I couldn't attend any social gathering that involved food - not even my own birthday.

3. My bone mass is 20% below average for a girl of my age.

4. I haven't menstruated in over two and a half years. Which is why my bones ended up being so bad.

5. I had a sports injury a while ago - I thought it was a ligament tear. Turns out that no, it's a subchondral bone lesion/bone edema... which, while I don't really know what it means, is a very clear indicator of osteoarthritis.

6. Dry skin and hair. I always used to have really good hair - it was one of my best features, really nice and smooth and straight - and now it frizzes, falls out, and looks like crap. Yellow skin, too, because I was always eating carrots because they seemed to suppress my appetite. I have a picture where I'm with my boyfriend - we're the same basic ethnicity, really - and while our hair's the same, I look like a frigging Oompa Loompa.

7. I started bruising very easily, and if I scraped myself on anything (which happened often because of cross-country) it'd take a ridiculous amount of time to heal.

8. My blood pressure, while already low, started plummeting or increasing randomly - I'd get really cold and sluggish, or start sweating and shaking and get really hot at the drop of a hat. My hands started shaking a lot. My pulse ran at around 45 - which, while normal for a pretty small-bodied runner, is still pretty low.

Then there was being cold all the time, getting sick really easily, and constant - and I mean CONSTANT - diarrhea. Which wasn't helping me any, because not only was I possibly undereating, but I probably wasn't digesting half of my food anyway.

hellooooo

I've only just joined this thread, so hi =]

I'm in recovery from anorexia (it's been two months now, but I've had anorexia since about sept. time) and for the past week or so I've been nibbling uncontrollably throughout the day on dried fruits, nuts and little baby carrots and tomatoes I find in the fridge. I know it's not technically a binge, but it happens when I'm not entirely hungry, and sometimes I feel really uncomfortably full afterwards.

The reason I don't think I binge is because I'll not eat a whole load all at once. I'll keep going back to the kitchen every half hour or so to get another handful of dried fruit, but I'm not always hungry. I think it's cos I'm home alone all day (I'm on study leave from school) and I constantly think about food.

Any advice on how to control myself? I feel like such a pig >< I feel disgusted in myself because of my lack of self control =[ =[

thank

xxxx

 

 

I can so relate to this!

Hi :) im also new to this thread and im really happy i found it.

anyway..I was also an anorexic for about 3 months. I started the "refeeding" process during the 4 month and did great up until now (I went from eating 300 cals a day to eating 1,800 and still be able to LOSE weight). I was around 104 pounds when I realized that since the period wasnt showing up yet I needed to gain weight, whether i liked it or not...at least until my body trusted me again and when i had enough fat in my body for it.

so i binged my way up to 108 pounds...I had fun while at it and I Felt fine with it cos i NEEDED the gain...but then got to 108, got my period...everything was great...but I couldnt stop!!!! chocolate, donuts, sweets, cookies, brownies anything I could get my hands on was good enough for me.

It took me about a month more to get over the binges..and I still have the cravings! but now I tell myself over and over again...that if I do this all I Get from it is guilt....and guilt is what drives me to starve...and I want to feel as normal as I can be....so I decided that the best way to do this was commiting myself to being normal..that is, doing some sort of daily activity (which Im about to do, trying to join a gym soon!) and eat whatever it is I want within my calorie limits!

that is..if i crave a cookie then ill have the cookie! if i crave pizza, then I also have the pizza! that goes with pretty much anything classed as "unhealthy" food that normal people eat...that is ofcourse, focusing on keeping it under calorie limits, and running 45 minutes 5 days a week (very soon) at the gym!

I think this is the best way to balance out the binging and the guilt trips...eat within your calorie limits, focus on the negative side effects rather than that super good taste they have, and working out, so that you can even eat more than you normal do, and feel great about yourself!

hope this works for some of ya ;)

best of wishes -xo