_justmel_'s Journal

Here we go...again....and hopefully for good!
Nov 04 2009 12:02

I'm back!! I have lost a little weight since I last used calorie count about 7 months ago.  I haven't really been dieting big time just trying to eat healthy the past 2 months or so with lean cuisines for lunch and protien bars for breakfast.  I have stepped it up a little now because I realize I still have major portion distortion when it comes to dinner, especially when I cook things I like (which is often)  I go thru these phases where I only eat enough to satisfy me and I feel great and in control then I go thru LONGER phases of just being like ok I want to eat and I don't care.  Eventually I realize how tired, irregular, and cranky that makes me.  I notice a difference right away in my energy levels and tricked myself into thinking "well maybe I'm getting the flu" this last time.  Well you don't "maybe get the flu" for 2 months straight of eating like a pig and never getting a single sniffle.

I may not be doing this the most healthy way right now with the slim fast and lean cuisines but it's just convenient as a single mom who works full time does online college full time, and has a major overeating issue.  I do know how to eat healthy when I have time and money and will convert back to that slowly as the weight comes off or on days when I have time.

I have high blood pressure and diabetes and heart attacks run in both sides of my family.  Yesterday I had a friend whose mother had a heart attack and today I came to work and found out my co-workers husband who recently had bypass surgery passed away in his sleep last night.  I have always had this strange feeling that I would have one and I would be so young that the hospital didn't know what was wrong and couldn't treat me on time.  The same thing that happened when I had gallstones and pancreatitus at 21 years old.  Instead of feeling scared and sorry it's time to finish what I started.