agruskin's Journal

Hum...one of my classmate was going to the gym regularly not because she liked to exercise, but because she liked the gym supervisor (ok, more 'was crazy' about him). Since she was a student and they had an 'affair', he got fired, lol.

Maybe you can go 'Boy hunting' and then the motivation will come :)

...just thought I'd thrown some jokes in here ;) 

Hey if you aren't keen on exercising at the gym why not try joining a social sports team? That way you win all round - active (while probably not noticing how much you're actually doing), social and you'll meet new people.

Just choose a sport you're interested in and have a look around for social leagues (netball/volleyball/soccer etc).  I've always been really into sport and exercise and do a lot of running and weights on my own and with a training partner but I think that for people less interested a sports team is a good way to go.  I'm not recovered yet but doing a lot better now.  Still working on getting the weight up and getting over old habits but it'll come with time now that I'm actually doing something about it. (I hope anyway!) 

good luck :)

amy:

i noticed your post on the h&s forum.  i know this is not the first time you've posted a question like this.  so here comes some tough love.

the answer to how much exercise is right and healthy for YOU does not exist out the world.  no one is ever going to be able to give you an answer that takes away the guilt you feel when you don't exercise a lot.  because, if it worked that way, you wouldn't feel guilty any more.  the bitch of this system is as follows: so long as you exercise out of guilt, you will never enjoy exercise.  NEVER.  no routine, no machine will ever cure you of this.  IF you want to be able to enjoy exercise, you are going to have to do the WORK that allows you to have a relationship with exercise that is not based on fear...and therefore guilt.  and, the only way to get there is to learn how to tolerate feeling guilty about NOT exercising.  this guilt will not kill you.  it's not bigger than you.  it's not stronger than you.  it's just an emotion.  it will come.  and it will go.  but if you want it to stop ruling your life in this area, you need to be willing to not give in to what the guilt tells you to do.  what does this mean?  i think you need to take an extended break from formal exercise.  as you've gone from maintenance and now back to gaining, i don't think you've demonstrated that you are able to have a healthy relationship with exercise.  so, if your aim is to get healthy now, i think you need to stop exercising.  the only way to learn how to tolerate the guilt is to place that guilt squarely on your shoulders until you realize you can live your life WITH it. 

this is coming from a place of love and wanting to support you.  how many more times do you want to go through this?  how many more times do you want to survey other people to find out what is "normal?"  there is NO normal.  only YOU can choose how exercise fits in your life. 

bethany, if you're reading this too, i would suggest the same thing for you.  i know it's hard for you to experience feelings of guilt and sadness around your weight.  and i know that having a family means that you often have to swallow those emotions in the service of carrying out your roles as a mother and wife.  but, like i said to amy, these things you are feeling are just emotions.  they come.  they go.  they've worked that way your whole life.  when you decide to live your life trying to avoid feeling certain ways, it's easy to find yourself not acting out of choice, but out of force.  running is not your friend right now.  it's a friend of your guilt.  if you want these emotions to stop ruling you, you have to CHOOSE to do something different when they show up. 

you both have come a VERY long way.  don't stop here.  there is so much more life to live. 

amy,

you're not effed up.  we all fall into unhealthy relationships in some way.  beating yourself up when you're struggling is not fair AND not effective.  you WILL get through this.  and if it feels hard, that means you're working.  if this were comfortable and easy, you'd be moving in the wrong direction.  there is nothing broken here.  confusion is perhaps EXACTLY what you need right now.  start with trying to tolerate THAT.  you inspire me with how hard you work. 

laura

Just to answer your other q. You see what I eat every day, I don't know what the calories are but my portion sizes are often pretty big, eg big sandwiches, lots of muesli when I eat it for breakfast. I would estimate my day normally comes to about 2200-2400.

And I am basically maintaining on that, the only weight I have put on lately is because of the baby lol. The exercise I am doing right now is prob about a 20-30 min walk 4x per week, it's not excessive by any means.

So yes you can maintain a healthy weight on much more than 1400 calories a day without going ott on the exercise. The exercise is really not influencing calories by that much, it's just how much my body would need anyway.

Hmm I hate the climate here to be honest, it's too hot, very humid and muggy so I get sticky and sweaty whenever I walk anywhere.

Well we are all different but I just wanted to give you the idea that you don't need to restrict just because you aren't doing loads of exercise. In fact it's the other way round - you just need to eat extra when you exercise a lot, not next-to-nothing because you don't.

Just living and breathing and thinking is such a complex process when you break it down into the hundreds of thousands of biological processes which take place in your body each day, you need fuel just to live not just to exercise.