alicandra's Journal

Damn Boobs...
Apr 14 2009 18:25

I'm so annoyyyyed

I look good at the moment.  Hell, there are days when I look in the mirror and am not completely repulsed with what I see for the first time in my entire life.  I'm 15lbs heavier than I was at my lightest, but it seems to have stayed away from my waist this time, mostly planting itself on my legs and hips which is actually fine - my waist to hip ratio is less than .7 now, and (for some strange reason) my 'love handles' have disappeared, with the 'handle' bit in the middle filling out, giving me those smooth curves that I've always wanted. 

I'd go as far as saying that my lower half looks a bit like that Joan lady from Mad Men.  And I am damn happy with that - she's so pretty, I'd kill to look like her.

But my bloody boobs don't seem to have got the message.  I'm still barely filling a 34A, despite the fact that I have pretty hefty shoulders and ribs.  Its annoying - I have 'curves', but only because my chest is like a barrel - my actual boobs are practically nonexistent 

There's a part of me that's still hopeful; I'm only 17, maybe I'll still grow, blah blah blah.  The thing is, I think its all been stunted by my stupid 14 year old self deciding that starving myself would be fun. I've got the height, but my bloody boobs have got stuck in 'little' mode. They're not even a nice shape or anything, they're completely blah. 

And this is why I am dieting again.  They look great in clothes, but I think if someone was to see me in a bikini/naked right now, they would be disgusted.  However, the boobs neither grow nor shrink as I lose or gain weight, so they at least looked in proportion when I was at my lightest. So, diets ahoy, lets get me slim!

Height - 5'8.5

Weight (as of 14/04) - 150lbs

Highest Weight - 175lbs (wow, was that really 3 years ago? crazy...)

Lowest Weight - 135lbs

Goal Weight - 130lbs