alicandra's Journal

I don't know what to do anymore...
May 02 2009 15:19

154lbs.  154.  

Petessake, these exams are ruining me.  I've been eating anywhere between 1200 and 2500 for the last 3 weeks due to the stress, and have only managed 2 and a half hours of exercise a week.  I've gained 7lbs.  And I look like I've gained a lot more.  

BMI is now 23, which is far from the end of the world.  But I felt overweight at my thinnest when I was 135, and so this feels so bad for me.  

I shouldn't even be gaining on this amount of calories - I'm 17, 5'8 and was 147lbs.  The average person with my statistics would burn 1900 calories, and that's not even factoring in the fact that I walk for well over an hour a day. Yet here I am, with an average of about 1600 and a 7lb noticable weight gain.

I was eating ok today until a moment ago, when the ben and jerries came out.  Now I feel like a complete fat slob, but the truth of the matter is that its 4pm and I've still eaten less than 800 calories, regardless of the ice cream 'splurge'.

I just see all these bloody perfect women in the magazines, and can't help but feel upset that I look *so far* from what they look like.  My stomach looks like I've just given birth to a walrus, my legs resemble treetrunks and dont even get me started on my boobs...

:(

x