aliciamala's Journal

Aug 01 2007 10:32

Well frig.

I've sort of been straying from CC a bit lately. I've just found myself getting really frustrated/obsessive with everything and I decided a couple of days ago that I was going to cool it for a little while and just work on maintaining until I got my "mojo" back. I've come this far and I certainly want to finish the job, but I have no reason to rush as I'm *pretty* comfortable with my weight at this point and I'm seriously hating feeling guilty everytime I "slip". Why is this getting so difficult? Why was it so much easier when I was thirty pounds heavier?

But anyway, long story short: Ever since I decided I was going to work at maintaining, I've been aiming for somewhere around 1800 to 2000 calories a day (estimated) and I actually feel really gross! I've basically just been sticking to what I normally eat plus some treats here and there (a slice of birthday cake at work or a small bag of chips in the evening) and my body is HATING it. Seriously, I think my body is just rejecting it or something. My bowels are all out of whack, I can barely drag myself out of bed in the morning...I even threw up last night after eating some Pringles! It's weird. I'm thinking that I should take this as a sign and just get back on track. I don't know.

I don't have too much trouble at all sticking to 1500 calories a day as long as nothing unexpected happens (out with friends, hangover food, etc). 1500 is really good for me because I'm super active all day at work. It's the exercise that I'm having a really hard time sticking to. I was working out like 5 or 6 times a week but I just can't find the motivation now. It has a lot to do with the heat and humidity. I get really cranky and useless when it's humid. I know it sounds like just an excuse. I can go to my gym at lunchtime here at work but then I have to come back to the office all sweaty and gross, which I hate doing. Blahhhh....WHERE IS MY MOJO