alwaysinmyroom's Journal

Weight Training and Losing Weight
Aug 05 2009 09:56

Today in the gym locker, I heard one of the members say that she stopped weight training because she was not losing any weight...that really bothered me in more ways than one...

I have been weight training for nearly 2-1/2 years...I am very strong and my body is very hard and compact...but it is true, I have lost very little weight after my initial 43 pounds or so...I stepped on the scale this week and despite nearly three weeks of religiously monitoring every bite and adding an additional day of cardio, I have actually gained about 3 pounds...

I would not trade my weight training for those few pounds I might lose initially...but it does make me wonder if I am concentrating too much on the scale and not on how I look and feel...maybe years of brainwashing has made me think that the number of pounds I weigh are more important than how I feel...I am so confused because I feel better than I ever have...I have more energy and am less depressed, I look better...damn scale...is there a scale for body builders?  Maybe it would make me feel better if I knew how much women I admire with muscles weighed...I think I am going to ask them (do you think they would be honest with me or are they also glued to the number on the scale and would "lie" to me?)...

I feel very lucky that I can afford a personal trainer as I probably would not lift weights this hard on my own...I told him I was going to have a physical in September and he said I should pass with flying colors as I am in great shape...so is he concerned about my weight?  No, not really--but he is to the extent that I am concerned and that I bring it up all the time...his goal is to make sure I am eating nutritiously: whole foods, not much processed foods and fats, etc....that I am flexible and able to do daily activities without hurting myself or feeling tired...these seem like pretty good goals to me...

I mentioned to him about laying off the weight training to lose weight and he was appalled (and not just because of the money as I would pay him to do cardio with me)...instead, we are doing interval training which is higher reps with lower weights and one minute breaks...it does increase my heart rate and increases my endurance...let's see if this will help--but he also reminds me that losing weight is 70% diet...and I have reminded him that I am always on a diet!!  I have not had a slice of pizza or a cheeseburger in a very very very long time! I have been keeping the calories between 1300 and 1600 calories.

Let's see if this new workout helps...and I don't care what others might think:  weight training is a good thing no matter what...I will never give it up!!!

My sister/diet buddy
Jul 20 2009 09:11

My younger sister and I have always been sort of friendly competitors in life. And, we have both always had weight issues, but the difference was that my sister always cared more about her appearance than I have and seemed to be able to lose weight and maintain it better than I did.

Well, she kinda let herself go lately and admitted that this time, it seems so much harder to get motivated and to lose the extra weight...so--we have decided to be each other's weight loss coach!

We haven't formulated a plan yet, but I think we will be emailing each other a lot and that prizes will be involved...we love surprises and small token gifts can be a great motivator!

She will probably do Weight Watchers--my job will be to get her to excercise and her job will be to get me to watch portions! I weigh nearly 30 pounds more than her but we are the same size, so this will be interesting once she starts on the excercise program!  I bet she will become smaller faster than I will because diet is 75% of the battle of changing physical appearance...I have the excercise battle won but not the diet part...it will be a struggle for me so her prizes better be pretty darn good!

I look forward to this friendly competition with my sister--we have gotten a lot closer as we have gotten older, but now the stakes are higher as it is our long term health that we need to compete for--not who gets to be prom queen!

A Long Road Well Traveled
Jul 17 2009 08:47

My younger sister called me and said she had cried when she read my original blog entry from 2007 when I had made the decision to lose weight and change my life...I had forgotten about it and went back to read it. It was hard to read because I was in so much pain at that time...I had lost control of my own body and was feeling so low that I had no idea that it had impacted my marriage, my activities, my friends, my creativity, etc. For me, being so fat made me a non-person--a blob--a total failure--yes, my self-esteem was at its lowest point and life had quit being joyous for me. I weighed the most I had ever weighed, 243 pounds, and I felt ashamed that I weighed more than most men of average weight!

Contrast that entry to today: This past weekend I attended a wedding of the daughter of a couple that we have known for over 30 years. I wore my new dress, even wore panty hose (regular sized!) and high heels, and I felt terrific and confident with my appearance. For the first time in a long time, I realized that I felt happy and comfortable in this new phase of my life...what a wonderful place to be!  I realized that I had accepted that taking care of myself is indeed a long, lifetime task...that each day had to be devoted to taking care of myself so that I could take care of those I love...and that taking care of myself did not only mean losing weight, but losing the negativity that I associated with the weight...of being the person I enjoy being...of living life to the fullest each day...re-kindling passion for my husband, my art, my friends...ahhhh

I had not seen the ex-wife for over 25 years, and when she saw me, she told my husband that I looked beautiful and the same as when we got married...I know he beamed with that compliment and he told me that he was proud of me for working so hard and for continuing to work hard at making myself the best that I can be...while the validation from others was wonderful, I felt like I validated myself...emotions that I have not felt for a while overwhelmed me: pride, dedication, courage, joy, determination, peace, completeness...

It is days like this that keep me going--the road is still long, but well-travled and some of the pit stops, like this one, are fabulous! I know there are some bumps ahead, but for now, I am going to enjoy the smooth highway--and that means shopping for another new outfit! ha ha

New Dress
Jul 08 2009 09:08

I am going to a wedding this weekend and have decided to buy a new dress. I tried on every dress I had and have decided to give them all to the Goodwill...they all seem so big and dowdy now that I have a new shape!  But of course, with a new dress, I will need new shoes, and new accessories...normally I do not indulge as I prefer to spend money on my nieces and nephews, but, this is something I think that will make me feel like I actually have come a long way on my weight loss journey!

I must remind myself that I have lost nearly 50 pounds over two years...not a small accomplishment!  I do work out and excercise is a daily thing in my life...I am doing small things to take care of myself (spa day, reading day, etc. etc.)...

My friends and family, as well as the terrific group of new friends on CC, have been so encouraging and a few have slapped me up side the head to remind me to think of me and my personal journey to get to where I want to be physically. I did not realize how much of this journey would affect me emotionally and that the two were intertwined so deeply!

A new dress is the boost I need. It will be the reward for sticking to the ultimate goal of health and well-being...I hope to have many more such rewards as I continue this process...

I am going to set a goal today of finding healthy, easy meals for dinner--my greatest weak point in my meal plan! But, only after I get that dress!

July is here...Summer is just starting
Jul 06 2009 13:44

I can't tell you how many times I have set my goal to be "summer ready", meaning,to be able to wear a decent bathing suit, tank tops, etc. I think I have been doing this since I was 15, so, over 40 years!  Some years, I made it: like my senior year of college--I went to Florida and spent all of my time in a bikini and short shorts...and then my 33rd birthday--I had more tank tops than any other piece of clothing...I thought this was going to be one of those years, but, it is not...I put on a tank top this weekend and decided I was one of those ladies that people would whisper "she should not be wearing that"...I thought I could rise above it and not care, but I do care...I know it might be silly, but I really do care more than I should  about how I appear to others...damn...I hate this!!

But then, I started thinking:  I am the only one who can change this. I have two ways to do it: a physical change, or, a mental one...is one easier than the other?  Sure...the mental one is way easier...just don't give a hoot...uh huh...or is it really that much easier??

Just how many more pushups and tricep extensions must I do? How much weight does one have to lose in order to have nice arms? Maybe some of it is heredity--my mom weights 113 pounds and hates her arms...my sister weights about 150 and hates her arms...my nieces are young and beautiful and thin and they hate their arms! I see a pattern here...and not a good one or one I like or want to perpetuate...

Hubby came up with a sensible idea---quit focusing on my arms and accentuate something I like...holy mackeral...that makes perfect sense now...I like my smile and I like my feet and I do like my hips, even if they are boyishly straight...so, now it makes me focus on getting decent shorts and tops with short sleeves---I betcha no one will even notice my arms! Sometimes I love how men are much more practical and focused on a solution rather than whining about the "problem"--

For July, I am going to concentrate my efforts on highlighting and improving the things I can and forget about those things I probably have spent way too much energy on that I just can't change...goodbye arms, hello hips!

Followup Visit with Nutritionist--added results
Jun 25 2009 11:52

I am taking my CC food logs and Nutrition Report to my nutritionist today.

My grade is A-, so that seems pretty good. My average daily calories is 1400, which is too low!!  In three weeks, my net loss is only 1 pound!  I am hoping she can give me some insight! I lost 3 pounds pretty quickly and then stablized at 1 pound...not sure why...

I recorded every single bite, even if I just tasted something...so very very frustrating for me...I am wearing the same clothes I wore the last visit so I can show her that my pants are looser, but so what...

I will report back what advice she gives me...

I also scheduled a spa afternoon to cheer me up...going to try one of those collagen facials, a back and shoulder massage, and then just a manicure and pedicure...dang, if I am going to weigh freaking 200 pounds, then I am going to look good doing it! ha ha ha

My digital camera is back to working, so I am going to post some pics so that maybe I can track my progress in pictures instead of the stupid scale...

Also, my little cat Cisco had to go back to the vet to get some more medication for his cold...he has gained about one pound and is so so cute!  Getting the other animals to accept him by introducing him into the basement playroom...the dog loves him but is too big to play with him right now...the old cats ignore him, but the younger cats hiss and growl...it will just take a bit of time!

Off to see the nutritionist!

Oh--sodium average is 2118--is that high? Fiber is 23--is that low?

UGH--I feel like I need so much more info to make this work!

********************************************

Ok--a lot of surprises! 

1. Yes, I need to eat 1600 calories, but also nutrient rich calories, so she gave a two lists of snacks to add in somewhere or else eat a bit larger portion of veggies and carbs at one of the main meals--very easy to do.  She thinks I might have been afraid to eat too much and also, now that I am memorizing the calories in foods, that I will be able to do this.

2. I actually did lose 3 pounds using the same scale we used three weeks ago. I guess that means that my scale is a piece of junk and that I should get a better scale, or else, just weight myself when I see her!

3. My sodium level should be just under 2400 (which was a HUGE shock to me)...fiber should be around 26, and I was at 23...so good there.

4. 65% of calories need to be from carbs since I work out daily or else my body will begin to conserve...wow--I get to eat carbs? I am glad about that...right now, about 40% of my calories had been from carbs!

5. I need to up my fat intake to about 15%--this is foreign to me since I learned that fat was bad, but apparently, good fats actually help vitamins get transported and your body to feel like it is nourished and no cravings will happen!

6. I need to plan out my evening meal in advance--I tend to do great all day except for the evening meal--I get into trouble because I don't know what to eat so I wat a little of everything and next thing you know, I have eaten the wrong things! She gave me some very simple recipes and fast evening meals!

7. We discussed the grading of my food plans here on CC...she told me to not get too hung up over the ratings because each food is rated individually, not as part of an overall plan...for example, you can pick all veggies and get an A+ rating, but you still did not get a nutritionally balanced day--you need calcium, fiber, protein, etc. It appears that there is really no way to rate your overall plan. She said to use it as a tool to count calories and make better choices but not to rely on it to record my progress...

8. Cheese, nuts, raisins, popcorn, almond butter are my friends in moderation! ha ha I can eat these where before, I would totally stay away and then binge on them!  I can eat anything as long as I am willing to trade it for something else in the day...(I am thinking about making me some food trading cards!)

Bottom line, not really new info, just info presented face to face--so I feel better now...and I know consistancy and learning new habits will get me through this! I scheduled another meeting in a month so I am determined to be at least 5 pounds thinner!

Spa afternoon was the most incredible I have ever experienced! This was a luxury feeling spa but the prices were much more reasonable than the Hershey Hotel spa and a lot less rushed! OMG--I was there for four hours! My face looks and feels great (I got an enzyme facial)...that included a mini massage (she even did my feet!)...I feel fabulous and ready to face the next 30 days...

ha ha--decided to schedule my spa visits with my nutritionist as a reward for losing weight--might work!

Tom is on vacation
Jun 22 2009 09:48

I worked out with Derrick today since Tom is on vacation. I realized that a little change can make a big difference in motivation. I think that I will talk to Tom about changing up with one of the other trainers every six weeks or so...we both could use the break and it does give me another point of view on weight training...

I am absolutely addicted to Zumba and am going to become a trainer this fall if I get the courage up to stand in front of a class ha ha...I cannot believe how flat my tummy is getting from all of the hip rolls and just plain moving around!  I still do not feel like I am exercising at all--it is way too much fun! We probably burned off about 1200 calories Sunday since it was non-stop movements, lots of arms, and it was hot as heck!

Got new jeans--still size 10 but a different cut...fits way better on my hips--no baggy butt! I am shaped like a boy--straight hips, no waist, long legs...hoping that zumba will give me a bit of a waist! I need to get new tops as well since I have been hiding under baggy tshirts and oversized tops, but somehow, it does not feel like the right time since I have set a goal to lose 10 pounds before buying more clothes...

Now that it has stopped raining, I feel like maybe summer is here and I always feel much more motivated in the summer!  Yummy fresh veggies and fruits! Grilled chicken and shrimp...trying to drink a lot more green tea as well...the dieters tea is great and keeps me so regular, which I think is helping to flatten my tummy as well!

A good day, indeed!

Don't Let a Bad Weekend Blow my Life!
Jun 15 2009 09:21

I was so gung ho on my new nutrition plan and lost 4 pounds--wonderful breakthrough for me...but then, I sort of let myself go this weekend and did not watch my portions...not that I ate anything too fatty or high in sugar, I just ate way too many good snacks (low fat pretzels, nuts, cottage cheese, etc.)--

I realized that I had eaten about 600 calories in good snacks--that is nearly 1/3 of my daily calories!! I was appalled and disgusted, but turned myself around by planning out my Monday meals and snacks and just "forgetting" the weekend for now...

I know I need to review what went wrong, but right now, I just need to get back to it...not give up...not blow it but throwing out this week just because of 2 unplanned days!

The article on CC about realistic expectations really was perfectly timed today...

If I lose 2 pounds at the end of my 3 week goal, I have done well for myself--that is 2 more pounds that I do not have to deal with--and 10 pounds equals a dress size, so 8 more and I should be happier in my clothes! I have lost 4, so 6 more to go for this initial goal--I am reaching for the end of July to hit that 10 pound mark, so, here it is, Monday, and I am back in the saddle...

Oh, and we have named my new black kitten Cisco!  Hubby loves the band War and happened to hear the song "Cisco Kid" and decided that along with Rico, Tito, Pogo, and Groucho, we needed a Cisco--see the pattern here? ha ha ha

Who says diet and excercise don't work?
Jun 10 2009 09:44

One week on my meal plan from the nutritionist--well, 6 days...and guess what?  I am complaining that I can't eat that much...so what is different? duh--

meal planning--being responsible and in control--taking charge and being accountable

portion control--measuring, weighing, counting

proper foods--when your body gets the nutrients it needs, there are no cravings or feelings of panicky eating

The toughest part for me is hearing my friend and trainer Tom gloat about how the plan is exactly what he recommends! I know, I know--you were right, darn it!

I have lost 4 pounds but, I think since I started zumba 4 weeks ago, that I have lost a great deal of inches, especially in my waist!!  I measured today and I am down three inches, to about 32! The muffin top is gone on the sides--must be those belly dancing moves! I think I forgot what a female waist needs to be around in order to have a reduced risk of heart attack--under 31? Need to research that, but, whatever, it feels great (except that I need to get some more holes punched in my belts!)

Anyway, I have committed to three weeks before I meet with the nutritionist again, and I think making that a goal has also helped me!! I need to set small, reachable goals, not one year goals, etc....one day at a time, as they say!

I loved the success story of Sheila--I can so relate to her story--CC has been such a source of inspiration and insight...I wish everyone succeeds in order to feel so terrific in this life--the only one we have!

On another note, I am "Mom" to yet another kitten! On the way home from work, I nearly ran over something...when I stopped to check it out, it was the tiniest black kitten, soaked from the morning thunderstorm--poor baby--looks like someone dumped her from the freeway overpass into the woods--idiots--what makes them think a 5 week old kitten can survive in the woods? I really don't need another pet, but I believe in the Buddhist saying that if you rescue or save a life, you are responsible for that life...darn...so, a trip to the vet for a check up, etc. is in my immediate future...now I need to think of a name for this precious baby! I like the name Tar but hubby hates it...the right name will come to me...he named the last three kittens, so this one is mine!

Results from my meeting with the Nutritionist
Jun 06 2009 14:09

I met with a mutritionist last Thursday...and, no surprise, guess what? There are no magic bullets... She didn't really tell me anything I did not already know, but, for some reason, what she did tell me sort of stuck a bit more and it motivated me to stick with the plan...

Things I learned or re-learned:

1. An active person needs about 1600 calories or else the body hangs on to every single calorie. In addition, I have to be consistent--can't eat 1200 one day and 2000 the next!

2. Portion size really does make a difference...she ad rubber food and was able to show me what a portion looks like--I wish grocery stores packed food in portion sizes, but they don't.  So, now when I bring home chicken breast, I am weighing it and chopping it up into the 4-6 oz portions.

3. Water is also very important. Overweight people often mistake thirst for hunger, plus, it flushes out sodium, breaks down vitamins and minerals for absorption, and helps you feel full... 64 oz or more...

4. If you are getting proper nutrition, your body does not crave foods...if you miss even one fruit, you will feel it...

5. Veggies are a girl's best friend--you can eat tons of veggies in exchange for a bad choice...

6. You can eat whatever you want as long as you realize that you are not going to be able to feed your body properly if you do it on a regular basis. Certain foods have very little nutritional value but tons of calories (cheese!!)...is it worth it?

7. Lastly, just like getting through school, getting a great job, making a marriage work, etc., it takes work. Yeah, it is not fair and yeah, it is a pain, etc. but I have to decide if I want this bad enough...to work hard and consistently...

No magic bullets...so, daily food logs, daily excercise, and a new attitude...

Focus on all of the wonderful foods I can eat and not on what I can't...