angie952's Friends

Well survived my christmas parties and the scales said 169.10 this morning. I was very surprised with that. It doesn't make sense to me at all. I have a high carb count, high calories, high fat and I am loosing, slowly, but loosing. Except will have to see tomorrow cause today I hit over 4000 mg of sodium, whew, not sure how I did that, hopefully that will leave me by the next weigh in I have been drinking water since I logged my calories, I'm probably gonna be up all night peeing!!  Had a nice dinner with boss and co-workers Tuesday night. Glass of Zinfandel Wine, Strip loin, baked potatoe, mediterranian salad, skipped the desert and top it all off with a coffee. I did well, calories were a little high 1566, but still showed a loss of .50 lb. this morning, hope I can hold onto for Friday's weigh in.

Cold, Cold temps here the last few days, Winter has arrived. Christmas shopping is finished.....Yayyyyyyyyy. Now I can sit back and let the festivities begin.

This stupid head cold is moving into my chest now and I'm finding workouts to be tough. I managed 90 minutes on Monday and Tuesday - working out actually cleared out my head so I could breathe! But today I was huffing and puffing. There's a burning in my chest. I got through the entire 90 minutes but I am totally drained.  I guess I should skip a day and get some rest...I just feel so guilty (and fat) if I do. I'll take it easy the rest of today and see how I feel tomorrow.

Scales are at 162 this moring - still up 4.6 from before my vacation, but down 4 since I got home two days ago. That probably has to do with being sick - I'm pretty much drinking my calories - but that helps flush out all that sodium, so it's okay.

Otherwise not much is getting done - haven't got any decorating or shopping done...no baking either. Hubby informed me last night that his work christmas party is on saturday and it's potluck. We're supposed to bring some sweets - of course he'd pick sweets...couldn't pick a salad! LOL! hmmmm...I wonder if I can sneak in some sugar-free Christmas cookies????..........

I'm in a whiney, want to cry or punch somebody mood... so, I'm posting my frustrations. Maybe it'll help me keep my sanity til I leave work for the day...

First off... work. Don't get me wrong, I like my job. I have wonderful coworkers, am working in a field I'd like to persue, and am one of only a few people in my social circle who is employed. So, I'm lucky. But I'm also frustrated! As an intern, I amount to squat. I worked on a project for a month and it's getting torn apart for some formatting issues that weren't concidered until the project was done. Everything else I've been getting to do lately is just busy work. I know interns generally get stuck with the grunt work, but seriously... I spend half my day on cc because I have nothing to do...

My parents. I love them to death, but I need out of my house. I'm 21 years old and have a 7:30 cerfew! (For more on this and my debate on leaving, see my earlier blogs). On top of this, I made the mistake of telling them if I only get 1 B and 7 As out of my next 8 classes, I'll graduate with Latin Honors. That would really be cool... but now I'm completely stressed out because they expect me to do it. Not just that it'd be nice, but that I'll be disapointing them, especially my dad, if I don't get it. I'm already spazzing over trying to graduate in 4 years, which is close to impossible for my school in my major, but the fact that I have a 3.477 GPA and it will only be good enough if it's a 3.5.... Ugh.

Added on to this is their constant nagging about my boyfriend. Yes, my boyfriend is 23 and unemployed without a car and is living at home. But that's not something he can help right now.  He went to college for 2 years before having to go on a financial hiatus because of his parents. Now, he's stuck working at his parent's farm which is 3 miles from the closest city and a 20 minute drive from the closest city with any hope of work. He can't get a car because he's $17,000 in debt from school. And he can't get a job because of having no car and no jobs in the area. He desperately wants to go back to school, but can't until I graduate and get him out of there and we get a place near places he can work. I know that it's in part his fault because he's been out of school for a year and a half now and hasn't done much, but it's not like he had much option. And despite the fact that he doesn't have money and is stuck at home, he is absolutely wonderful to me. Better than I've ever been treated before. And he's probably the only reason I havn't just said f*** it and left my house.

Another thing about my parents. My younger sister is currently stationed in Vegas with the USAF (this is nothing against her, she's wonderful and put up with alot of my parent's stuff too and I'm glad she got away). Well, since she left, my parents have been obsessed with her. From her wedding to all the tests she takes, how cute her new kitten is. Every day, it's a new thing about how great she is. We have a wall in our dining room that has family pictures on it. That wall's pretty balanced. Another wall... has several big pictures of her from basic training. My mom said I cuoldn't be on that wall until I graduated college. They concider simply joining the air force a bigger (or at least equally big) accomplishment as working through 4 years of college. I know that my way has cost them more money, but I work my butt off every day I'm in school. How does signing a piece of paper overshadow that? My mom has told me that several of her friends think she's overly obsessed with my sister and leaves me in the shadows, but said she didn't see how they could think that.

On top of all that, I constantly feel sick and emotional because of my birth control, I feel like I'm going to be stuck in my house forever, and am tired of feeling inadiquate...

/end rant

So made it through one christmas party with one more to go. Wasn't bad at all. We all went to an old friends house and she entertained us with a homemade dinner, munchies, wine,salads, rolls, veggie lasagna and about 3 desserts. I watched my portions but did have a bit of everything. So wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Left the alcohol alone this time. Hee Hee. I hate when the temptations surround you and you feel like you cannot escape them, but things went okay.

Scales are kinda all over the place this week. 169.50 then 169.30 one day I actuall dropped to 168.60 now back up to 170.30. Strange, but I have been eating a few different things, so might be the reason for the fluctuations. Grghhh ! Wish it could of just stayed at that 168 and I would of been so happy. Oh well, probably after tonights christmas party it will jump right back up into the 170's.  I'm averaging about 1400-1500 calories a day, what a jump from the 1150-1200 I was eating and the scales have been slowly coming down, slowllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, but they do come down. At least now I can see some fluctations on the scales which feels promising, before I saw absolutely nothing the same weight day after day. Now that's frustrating. At least fluctuations shows me what I can eat and what I really shouldn't be eating.

My measuremetns are dropping also. Finally getting that bust to move a few notches 1/2 ", thighs are down 1/2 ",  and calfs are down 1/4 ". All in all I am up to 21" down on my whole body. I'm happy with that. Well heading to work and then to christmas dinner (fancy place) with my bosses, so should be fun. Looks like I have alot of exercising to do after these two nights out.

P.S. Bought a new outfit for tonight, top ( large), pants (size 10). Yahoooo! When I was standing in line at the cashier all I could think of was how I used to wear a size 18 pant and a 2X top. It really helps to look back to see how far we've come.

"We can do this"  

Well vacation is over. I have to admit I did fine at first...ate light, an hour in the gym the first day on board...and the second day was good too with a 90 minute walk on the track and eating light and then I discovered the dessert buffet. There was even a breakfast dessert buffet - danishes, pastries, banana bread...every meal turned into fruit and veggies plus dessert!! I don't think I ate meat for three days!

Then, to top it all off, they had a CHOCOLATE BUFFET!! We're talking a chocolate fountain with stuff to dip (fruit, donuts, cake), mousse,  cheesecake, torte, cake, muffins, cookies, banana fritters all covered, smothered or lathered in chocolate in some form or another. Needless to say I went nuts!

Got lots of exercise too - at the gym 4 times, swam laps at the beach in Belize, walked 4 miles to downtown in Cozumel. We saw the sights -  snorkeled with the green sea turtles in Grand Cayman. Snorkeling off the barrier reef outside Belize was amazing. The jungle botanical garden and butterfly garden were beautiful...hot, but beautiful. Shopping in Cozumel was stressful as always - everybody wants you to come into their shop for a drink. We only bought a T-shirt each and I found a pair of silver sea turtle earrings that were only $5 so I had to get them.

My favorite thing this trip was geting my portrait done. (GASP! CAMERAS????)We put on our best outfits and hit every photographer on the Promenade deck and finally got a great photo of me. I'm calling it "The Perfect 40" as it is the most amazing picture I have ever seen of me...and I am 40 in it - well, I'll be 40 in less than a month, but it's close enough. Maybe I'll do the same thing again when I turn 60...I have a digital copy so will post it a bit later.

Anyway - the scale is at 166 this morning - gained 8 pounds but I expected that. I'm not officially weighing in until Saturday so I have some time to get back down there - I'm sure half of it is water.

I managed to come back with a raging head cold (hubby has it too). I have no appetite today so I plan to just drink warm fluids, get the bags unpacked and maybe start poking away at the Christmas decorations...should get on the treadmill for a while too, but we'll see if I can get this headache under control. I guess it's time to get back to the real world.... *sigh*

Okay, I think I'm back on track, with the computer that is. Weighed in today at 169.30 so that's down the lowest I've been. When the computer went down I panicked. I couldn't log, didn't know how many calories I had eaten and was christmas shopping all weekend, so I know I wasn't eating properly and WOW, things still worked out in my favor.

Now I'm on the couch, sick with a flu bug that I have to get rid of soon, I have two christmas parties this week and can't miss them. Feeling crappy, sore throat, maybe just run down.

I hated not knowing what everyone was up to. Now I have to really buckle down and get myself back on track to find my average calories in take for the last three days. I think I'm gonna find I can still eat about 1500 calories a day and not gain, but still playing with the figure, what I have found out is at least the scales are moving now with  more food in my daily intake. So you were all right !

Well a few emails to get caught up with and going to bed, hopefully I'll kick this flu bug.

Haven't been posting, computer problems, hopefully will have things fixed by Monday.

Hope all is doing well.

Today the scales were up .40 lb. I know that's from high sodium yesterday. I did my average weekly calories and last week I averaged 1433 calories a day and lost a total of .80 lbs. So this week I am gonna bring that down a bit to about 1375 and see if I can do that again. I am trying o get the numbers to work so that I can see some change from week to week. I am happy to still be in the 160's range since December 1st, not a drastic change, but at least I'm staying in the 160's for more than a day.

Heading out to my Zumba Class tonight. I love it! Lately it's about the only bit of exercising I have been getting. I have been so lazy, I wonder if the scales would drop even more if I was working out like I was a few weeks ago.  It's worth a try. Tomorrow expecting a big snow storm, so might be a good day to do a few miles on the treadmill.

Keep Focused!

Well today the scales said 169.50, which is fine, that means I've been staying in the 60's since last Wednesday, so I hope it's safe to say I have dropped that 1lb. I've been trying to drop since September. Could it just be that I wasn't eating enough??  I'm beginning to think so.

Yesterday was an awesome day for me. After a very stressful week at work hubby and I decided to take Saturday and just head out for the day. Did some christmas shopping in the states and then of course had lunch out at (Applebees), I went with the oriental wrap and a few fries, can you imagine a few fries. Had I of known, I would have substituted the fries with a salad, but to late when they arrived at our table. I haven't had fries since I could last remember. But I did. I guess you could call it a cheat day. Then after shopping we headed to the Casino. Played and won $225.00, head back over to Canada where we hit another Casino and I once again won a small jackpot of $302.00. Yahooooo for me. I never win at the casino so this was a first. Then hubby and I went out for a late supper on the way home and a few beers (lite beers) well a few beers led to a few more and wow by the end of the night I was on the floor dancing up a storm, surprising what a few beers can lead to. 

So gonna take it easy, had plans to go for a nice long walk today, but another excuse got in the way, i am so bad at exercising these days. Who knows, I just might have dropped a few more had I been exercising. I don't know what's wrong with me I have no desire to exercise at all. Hubby starts midnights tonight so maybe after supper I'll feel better and get back on the treadmill for 2 miles or so. I do feel great that I have reached the 160's and are staying there. Oh, it seemed like it was never gonna happen. I'm still on 1350 calories a day (average), so might increase another 100 this week and see if I loose at all this week. If not, then I will cut back to 1350 again. We'll see. Just playing with the numbers until I am happy with what I come up with. I still feel like I'm shoving food into myself all day long. I have noticed that at this point that I never seem to get hungry, I eat cause I'm suppose to eat. Still not loosing hope for my goal of 40 lbs. before christmas. I'm at 38.5 lbs. now, so 1.5 lbs. would do it. Forget what I said earlier, I am going to do those 2 miles on the treadmill, I want 40 lbs. loss by Christmas eve!!!

Hope all is doing well !!!  

Weighed in today at 169.50. Never been that low. That's a loss of .80 lb. since Sunday. Yahooooooooooooooooooooo!

Upped my calories so that I am eating about 1350-1400 a day. Haven't exercised at ll except for my Zumba Class, don't know what's wrong with me, but I just can't seem to fit it in. I have been babysitting ( nephews little boy), working, putting up christmas decorations and tree, cleaning, changing room around, christmas shopping, so could that be considered exercise? I'm never still so it's not a case of being lazy, just busy. Yeah Yeah I know, you should never be to busy to exercise.

Strange, when I was concentrating so much on carbs, fat, protein and fibre I wasn't loosing anything. Lately, I have been eating like a regular menu, except changing everything to healthier versions. I can actually eat and eat and still be below my intake for the day. If that's the case, i have a bowl of cereal before bed or a few almonds to bring my count up. I can see now that while I was eating 1100-1200 calories, I was starving myself. I upped them to 1400 and I haven't gained a bit, I've lost. So you people were all right if this continues, geez, why didn't you yell louder or smack in the face or something to make me listen.

I'm feeling good these days and even my measurements are going down, lost on my bust 1/2 inch, thighs 1/4 inch, calfs 1/4 inch and hips 1/2 inch. So that brings my body fat % down, have to figure that one out yet? Yet I know I'm gonna be pleased.

So were making progress...... at least I know the scales are moving again, how awesome, hope this keeps up and then I'll know I am heading in the right direction. Hope all is well.