backtobasics's Journal

Its been a while since i've logged into calorie count. When I used to frequent the site, I was obsessed with losing weight. I was in the 130s and in high school, desperate to shed the weight.

I now return to CC only 119 pounds. I'm quite surprised... considering i've done absolutely nothing to change my lifestyle. I don't excercise, I don't eat healthy, so I don't know how I lost 10+ pounds in a year or less. The only logical explanation is that I started college, thus walking on campus several times a day across a vast area = excercise. Also food in college was horrible and I often lost my appetite. But when I returned home, I ate like a piggy and then lost weight at school again. Strange, huh? It seems like for most people, the opposite occurs. Yet... i've been home for the summer for 2 months now and I still haven't gained any weight back. I guess I'm just used to eating smaller now. So college was my big lifestyle change? So much for gaining the freshman 15 - I lost nearly that much my first year of college!

I'm now trying to lose the rest of the weight i've been trying to shed for years. I can't believe i've lost 10+ pounds of it effortlessly, and now that I am working retail (so i'm constantly on my feet), it gives me a better opportunity to burn calories at work and to keep myself away from the fridge at home, in case I resort to boredom eating.

However... I have less than a month until I return to school and i'm dying to lose the rest of the weight I need to lose. I understand its a short amount of time, but I don't expect to lose anything more than 5-10 pounds. I don't have a game plan yet, other than to start eating fruits, veggies, taking vitamins, you know... doing the healthy thing. I haven't had fruit in *forever* which is horrible, I know.

I have nothing creative or insightful to say, and I think my update is done. Considering nobody reads this anyway, i'll just leave it at that and say have a good evening.

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I'd hate to say it... but I don't know how I weigh. That's right... I don't. I'm actually kind of terrified to even find out. I'm not thin and i'm not obese - this much I know, but i'm also definitely not 127 pounds anymore. I think i'm more 132 which is horrible and leaves me at my highest weight again... or higher.

I don't know what happened to me or what made me stop eating healthy and excercising. I don't know what made me stop caring. I just know that i'm sick of the way I am.

Also, school started last week and i'm taking a dance class where I have to change infront of 25 other girls. A few days ago we had to try on dance clothes and I ordered a large in both the top and pants (the mediums fit but the large felt more comfortable). I wanted to die of shame.

Homecoming is October 13. Monica asked me if I was going. After all, it's my senior year of high school and i've never been to homecoming. So the question is...am I going? Well if I drop weight by then yes I will.

Another thing - i'm taking a Food Nutrition and Science class that will preach nutrition and also teach us how to cook. I really think this will help me since a) I need to know more about nutrition and b) I need to know how to cook.

Oh and I got my senior pictures back in the mail and oh my god. They zoomed in sooooo close it looks like my face is huge which it isn't (but I still freaked out).

All of this is motivation I suppose!

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.........127.6 TODAY!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

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Hmmmmm so this morning I weighed in at 128 exactly. Kind of odd considering i'm on my period, haven't been drinking alot of water, been overeating on all the WRONG foods, etc...

Yet I lost 1.8 pounds from last week...

Not complaining... but it's truly odd. My measurements haven't changed yet my weight has gone down...and I don't feel any different. Heck, I haven't even been excercising! Just lots of shopping and walking.

Oh and my vacation has changed from August to next week. This stinks. I wanted to be slim by then.

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This morning I weighed in at 129.8!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The last time I was 129.8 was April 6th!! Ahhh it's been over 2 months!

SO SO SO HAPPY!

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Happy Father's Day all! To celebrate, we went to a Chinese buffet for lunch. I had 2 small plates of food (healthy yet I had a tiny bit of what I wanted too and an icecream cone after). I guess today was a cheat day? I don't think it matters. I deserved it. Today I got compliments for my parents all day. On my skin (it's actually CLEAR now) and they're saying I look better, my face is thinner, and they can tell I'm happier.

It's so true...

Yesterday my brother and I rode bikes, played basketball, lifted weights, danced, and did crunches and stuff. I also bought a 32 oz bottle that I can refill atleast twice a day to make sure I get my required amount of water...anddddd my mom and I bought some healthy frozen foods for the days my mom doesn't cook and I don't resort to junk. We also bought 100 calorie packs and the 100 calorie popcorn bags.

I'm just happy :) I love being healthy.

P.S. I don't know if the food was off today or what, but everything tasted kind of...bad to me. Probably because I haven't eaten out in a LONG time and i've refused fast food everytime. I guess my tastebuds are changing.

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Seriously!

The day after I worked out hard and ate allll of that food... I weighed in at 131.8. So I had went up 1.2 pounds, but I made sure I was extra good yesterday. The only workout I did was crunches and going up stairs but I weighed this morning at 130.6. Down 1.2 pounds! I know that the day before was all because of the salt I retained and such an intense workout. But I ate healthily and drank tons of water and voila.

My mother seems to be recognizing my efforts too. She told me she swears my face seems slimmer (again, could be because my sodium intake was fairly low and i'm not puffy and bloated). She told me supports me all the way and she knows how it hurts me to be 17 and not being able to wear the cute clothes the other girls wear... or being ashamed to let my body show at school and just covering myself in hoodies constantly. She's right...

I want to be able to go back to school in August slim, healthy, and confident.

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Yesterday's workout got me so sore...it's worse than any after-workout soreness i've ever felt before...even when I was working out an hour twice a week with my old personal trainer.

I can hardly walk or sit down! It's sooo painful. My parents suggested I take a day or two off from working out. Blah. I've been on my ass all day and i've been feeling so horrible, that I ate the remaining bag of pizza goldfish (700 cals). In fact...here's what I ate.

Slimfast shake: 190

Snickers marathon energy bar: 210

Remaining bag of pizza goldfish: 700

1/2 biscotti-like thing: 75

1/4 cup sunflower seeds: 140

about 16 pretzels: 220

a few tablespoons butterfinger icecream: guessing...50 if 1/2 cup is 120.

SO! my estimate total of today is about...1414 calories.

Not bad...considering I could have done worse. The truly awful thing is that I ate junk all day and i'm still REALLY HUNGRY. I'm not even on my period and i'm not even pmsing. This sucks, because when I eat healthy I'm always full and happy. Now I feel fat, bloated, and hungry.

And did I mention I have yet to eat dinner? And it's only 3:40 p.m.? Crap. I figure dinner will be 200-300 calories... just enough to meet my expenditure, so I hopefully shouldn't gain weight. Just retain salt.

LESSON LEARNED

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OH MY GOSH,

WHAT A WORKOUT!

I just did a jog/walk/run combination for 30 minutes and did a ton of conditioning. My legs are so wobby and I feel like i'm going to puke. I've been sweating a rainstorm too (gross, i'm sorry). Today my family was so proud that I did all of that...i'm serious i've never seen my mom that proud of me. She's always been proud of me in school and such but i've always been a good student. And for me to do something I loathe (note: extreme excercise)...well its enough motivation for me to continue everyday.

 

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Well we decided to wait till after my grandma gets here before we go on vacation.

So...VEGAS HERE WE COME (in July)

I hope I can get to atleast 124 by then :O

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