belladonna69's Journal

FINALLY!!!

Oct 31 2008 10:16

Okay, here it is, the results of this mornings weigh in: 183.7!!!! I finally broke through 184! I did my happy dance when i got off the scale, texted my husband and told him to do the happy dance for me LOL! I was so thrilled i almost skipped my workout, i couldnt settle down. But then i reminded myself that it was the workout that got me past stupid 184 so i buckled down. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY ME!! If i can get down to 182 before my birthday next weekend that would be good too!

uh oh...

Oct 28 2008 21:56

I have 3 words for you: HOT APPLE PIE. sigh Okay, so lets just say that today is my high calorie day, really really high calorie day! LOL! Oh well, it'll all sort itself out....maybe it will help me break this plateau. I cant get past 184, hopefully this week.......

End of the road?

Oct 27 2008 09:33

Have i reached the point where i no longer need CC? I've pondered this question for a while. It's been good using the tools, and getting the support. But i dont know that i need CC, anymore, you know what i mean. I can easily go for days and not feel the need to come in to log. I usually just come in to see how my friends are doin and send messages....

I dont know. Its not really critical, tho i wont leave yet. Its nice to come and chat with everyone, but i think its a sign that i feel confident in my ability to take charge of my new lifestyle. Like a bird ready to fly from the nest. I'm not using CC as a crutch, like when i first started.

The Results are In

Oct 24 2008 08:16

Okay, after 2 weeks of scale-less-ness, i got on this morning to see if my hard work has paid off. And i came up with 184.6. Which not bad. Not what i wanted or expected; i was hoping to make it to 183 by now....but all things considered at least i'm still on the right track. Even with the occaisional gain by retention and fluctuation i'm still on the downward trend. And believe it or not, today i dont really care. I feel good, i look good (i've been getting frequent comments telling me so ), so i'm not too worried. It will happen when it happens.

Today is the final preparation for hubby's b/day party. It should be really good; we've invited the perfect set of crazy friends, so we're expecting an awesome time. I will be sure to take care with the alcohol and the food, i promise!

goin with the flow

Oct 22 2008 08:45

i havent touched the scale in a week. i look at it, barely, and i walk away. i makes no sense to get on it when my period is coming, and then when its here, and get all upset. Besides i've been working really hard on my strength for the last couple weeks so i want to give things time to kick in, before i check the weight. Hubby and i are having some friends over on Friday night for his birthday (which is saturday)...lots of food and drink...so i'll do my weigh in on Friday morning instead of saturday as i usually do. I'm reallt hoping to see some results; its been a while since the scale has moved. I'm not upset, i'm just goin with it...our schedule has been wacky lately (when ISNT our schedule wacky???) so i havent been keeping very good written records of my calories. But i have a fair idea on most days how well i'm doin. I've had a few in there which were just out of whack, but i'm not worried, its proably to my benefit in the long run.

Stay strong, everybody!

displeased

Oct 18 2008 15:14

at the risk of sounding whiny, i have to say this. i dont like being jiggly. i wish i had the money and the assurance of complete safety, so that i could have surgery. there are a few parts that need serious tucking. and its distressing....i'm glad i've lost weight and i'm toning up. but the loose skin annoys me! does someone have a cryStal ball, that can tell me when everything will look the way i want it to look? If and when i will stop looking like Elastic Man from the Fantastic 4: all stretched out but didnt snap back !!

Its silly to complain, after all i've done, after all the progress i've made. its just one of those days, when i'm standing naked in front of the mirror, before my shower and the light thru the window just makes everything look WRONG. It doesnt help that i'm dealing with water retention too.

I mean, is it soooooo bad to want to look perfect, for a change? Or at least close to perfect? The skin, the stretch marks, the cellulite...dear God i'm a walking horror film!!!!! Oh well. Maybe i'll look better tomorrow, i hope.

just stoppin by.

Oct 16 2008 21:19

i'm so busy, sometimes i feel like i dont know if i;m coming or goin. and this week is worse, cause its almost TOTM. And i;m reallly really hoping that i doesnt come next weekend, which is when its due. next weekend is my hubby's birthday and we're having a party on Friday night. but my period has come 4 weeks to the day for the last 5 months, with the exception of august.

besides that i'm jsut feeling like crap. i'm bloated. i'm cranky. i'm feeling like i just want to sit around and mess about on the computer or watch movies all day. mean while there is a bus load of stuff that needs to be done.

so i'm gonna watch a movie, indulge in a fashion magazine and relax.

I'm sooooo over it.

Oct 14 2008 08:28

so yesterday was Thanksgiving Day here, and i had a really good day. And surprisingly, a low cal day. The kids were at the grandparents most of the weekend so monday morning hubby and i had a nice lie in, for the first time in ages! Got up about noon and got ready to go. We stopped at a friends house for a bit (grabbing something from the kitchen to eat on the way). Then from there to another friends house. I had a small slice of pumpkin pie and water. After that off to pick up the kids and then on to hubbby's aunt for dinner. But although i hadnt eaten much of anything since goin to bed the night before, when i got there i just wastn hungry. It was probably because i was full of water. I'd been drinking water all the way from house to house. It wasnt a sit down dinner (too many of us) so at least no one really noticed that i wasnt eating. After a while i took a bit and that filled the bill.

Yesterday morning and this morning the scale was crazy! Its pure water; i can feel it in my hands and feet. A lot of the things i ate this weekend were not from my kitchen so it was erratic and most likely full of more salt than i use. Not to mention the lack of sufficient sleep. For me and hubby, long weekends equal late nights hangin out, watching movies and stuff !.

There are some treats in the house that i brought home for the kids (yes, for the kids !!) and i'm so done with the food thing now. I've seen enough this weekend, i'm ready to get back on the ball. Hubby is home today so we're gonna go to the gym together.....whenever he wakes up......i better go get him!

A Love/Hate Relationship

Oct 13 2008 00:40

I love the holidays---Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, i really do. The hubby is home for a few days, we get together with family and friends, forget about the stresses of life for a while.

But i hate the holidays because of the abundance of tasty eats!!!! We went to a friends Thanksgiving/Belated Birthday get together last night. There was so much good food! Not so much the traditional Thanksgiving meal, but lots of delicious munchies: egg rolls, shrimp fritters, pasta salad, turkey......then dessert: brownies with chocolate chips, rum cake, cinnamon apple cake, and custard. SIGH.... It wasnt easy, people, taking control. But i did okay. When it time to eat i took just a little of everything and didnt go back for seconds. Then we headed to the basement to listen to music, have a few drinks and play pool. In a few hours we there was dessert but all i had was one brownie and a bite of the rum cake. A couple hours later some of were haning out in the kitchen (big mistake) right beside the egg rolls and fritters. I had a couple and then that was it.

All in all not a bad night considering i spread it out over a few hours. Today i kept it to a minimum. Tomorrow is family dinner, and i have a feeling i probably wont eat much there.

Tomorrow (well later this morning) i'll be sure to get up and do a bit of workout then back to bed to snuggle (the kids are at the grandparents for the weekend!!!) then back into it whole heartedly on Tusday morning.

I hope all my Canadian CC friends are doin ok this Thanksgiving weekend! Have a good one!!!

Lost in the Darkness

Oct 08 2008 20:15

Okay, its time to get personal. I suffer from S.A.D. once the weather changes and it gets dark in the morning and the evenings, i start to fade. I feel disoriented, depressed, lethargic....not myself. And for years i didnt realize what it was until i looked up the symptoms on the internet trying to figure out what was wrong with me. It's contributed to my weight gain...eating to feel better, or hoping that sugar rush will make me feel better. Wanting to get out of the house but not being able to because its too cold.

I can feel it coming on already. When i woke up this morning it was not fully light (about 6:45). This evening it got dark, suddenly it seems, at about 7. I just felt off, you know?

Anyway, i am determined not to let it get to me this year. I'm joining the gym, not just to keep fit but to have a reason to get me out of the house. I'm hoping that my the changes i've made and the success i've had will keep me from turning back. Anyone out there know what i mean???