bigbitty's Journal

depression again
Nov 12 2009 03:33

i have it all, a beautiful daughter, a wonderful son, a great husband...

i cant seem to breastfeed

i keep getting ill

i am at a plateau

work has slowed down and so has our money

i havent been spending enough time with my son

i am full of anxiety and stress. and I just dont want to end up back in the mother baby unit, i cant do that again, i dont want to be on antidepressants again, but i feel lik e i just cannot cope anymore, i feel like i am approaching the breaking point.

does anyone know what to do to prevent themselves from going over the edge when they are at this stage... is it too late, the intrusive thoughts have already returned, and I can no longer sleep, i lost interest in most things, and I am hardly leaving the house. does this mean game over, and the depression is definite, can i bounce back from this...

i feel like my daughter is so perfect, she deserves a perfect mother. and i suck...