blondbeaty's Journal

Today's a new day!!!  I have put back every pound that I lost before.  I am now back up to 225.  I can't believe it.  I could tell that I had put some weight back on, but I couldn't believe that I had put it all back on.  I guess I can't really say that I am surprised.  I could really tell in my clothes.  Anway.  Today's the day I start fresh.  I exercised tonight 30 minutes on my new ellipiltcal machine.  I have been eating good all week, I think I logged yesterday and today.  I am going to have to make it a point to do get back into this logging.  I don't think I can do it with it.  I def need it.  I am going to start rereading the blogs and stuff.  I need the support. 

Nite!!!

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Well, Well, Well......  I guess Im just so stupid.  It's been quite a while since I have logged anything on here.  Jan was my last time, and now this is April and let me tell ya, I can really tell that I've not been using it.  I guess somewhere between my busy schedule and my own stupidness, I put a few pounds back on.  But as of this morning, right now.  I'm back on track.  I got a new job that I will be able to eat sensible again and I will be home of the evenings, so I will be able to start exercising again.  I know that once I start exercising, it will be much easier for me to stay on track.  I guess in a sense, I got lazy with that and eating too.  I thought I could do it, you know, like eat and really not log because I had learned so much between coming here the first time and doing extremely well, but I guess that just goes to show, everybody needs something to keep them on track. I guess this is how I need to do it.  So, I'm  excited about getting back on track and getting to my goal weight.  It's been a rough few months, between being sick and the kids being sick and working and school, but things have slowed down a bit now and I think that will really help me.  So, here I am and I know that I CAN DO IT!  (Because I did it before).

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I got back on my stationary bike this morning, the batteries were dead and day before when i went to get on it, for the first time in a while, it was dead. I forgot how good I feel when I ride it.  I have been using my step arebiocs dvd and I like it, but I like mixing things up so I don't get bored.  I rode today for 40 minutes while I watched my H and R block DVD for training. It was quite helpful to do them both at the same time.  Ate pretty good today, got lots to do this upcoming week.  Noah's 5th birthday party on Sat and we've invited lots of kids from his preschool, I can't wait! It's going to be a blast.  Start back working for H and R block on Tuesday and school starts back for me on the 16th. would like to get my housed semi-orgainzed, if that's possible before I start everything.  I have been seriously thinking about ordering this pilates video i have been seeing on TV. I see it about everyday, think that's a sign?  It's a zone type thing.  Maybe I'll order it when it comes back on, everytime I see, I think I need to get my debit card so I can call and just order, but then I talk myself out of it, not even sure why really.  Maybe I just don't want to spend the money on something else right now.  I don't know.  Hope this week goes by super fast.

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Well, it was here and now it's gone!  Thank goodness!  Did pretty good today I think, I cooked and did very well.  We had Ham instead of Turkey though, but didn't eat too much, have been snacking around all day, so I didn't eat lots at one sitting.  I am down to 189 now.  Haven't lost anything in a couple of weeks, but haven't gained either, so I am not complaining.  I posted some new pics today of my recent weight loss and the one picture that made me start this whole thing.  I figured it didnt' matter anymore, was ashamed at first but not anymore because I'm not that same person that I was.  It's now important for me to see that picture, so I don't ever go back to that.  I got my step for areobics for christmas, going to start that new video tomorrow.   The kids had a blast today, it was so much fun to watch them.  It's been a while since I have posted or even been on here, but going to try to get back to logging my calories, I do pretty good without logging but I like logging, it keeps me focused and motivated.  Merry Christmas!!!!

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Alot has changed around here the past few weeks.  I haven't logged any of my food in like 4 weeks.  I'm still counting and watching what I eat, but just not logging.  I'm down 2 more pounds, that makes me 191.  My grandmother died last week, she was 90.  She died on Tuesday and we had the funeral services on Thursday and we buried her Friday morning.  I didn't go to school all last week and I was so far behind, but I'm all caught up now.  For how long, remains to be seen.  I got a new job, actually I got a promotion at my old job.  It's full time though and a little concerned that I may not be able to keep up with everything.  I have not worked full time and went to school full time at the same time.  I hope it goes well and I am pretty determined to make it work.  I just don't want to wear my self out trying to do too much.  I am having a hard time fitting in exercise these days, but still managing to get it in.  Last night I was exercising when I got home at 12 30.  I slept better.  but did not want to get up this morning.  I feel bad, because it seems like for the past few weeks, all I've been doing is complaining and I am really blessed, too blessed to be feeling like I have nothing better to do than complain.  Happy Thankgiving!!!  God Bless.

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I feel really swamped right now.  I think I just need to vent.  I started working and all though I only work 3 days a week, it's really taking a toll on me.  I feel like I don't have any time to do what I need, like clean and stuff. I haven't cooked dinner in like a week.  Haven't been to the grocery store in almost a week, it's funny because I work at one, but when I get off, I'm ready to come home.  I had 2 test this week at school, one I think I did really well on and the one I took today, I think I did "OK" but not sure.  I don't want my grades slipping but I just feel like I have no time to study.  I haven't been sleeping well either, which is not new, but I need more sleep these days and can't seem to get it.  I always get depressed this time of year anyway, because Halloween, although is fun for my kids and I enjoy them having a good time, it marks the anniversary date of my father's death and even 4 years later, it's really hard.  I always think that I won't get depressed but somehow I always do.  I've got alot to do this weekend, I'm hoping that it will help if I stay busy so I don't think about it too much.  I'm doing good with eating, been eating out alot but still managing to keep within my calorie limit and still finding time to exercise too, which I should probably spend that time studying, but I would rather exercise, that seems funny for me to say, but it's true.  I enjoy my job, it's ok and I don't mind the work and the people are super nice and I enjoy being able to sociallize with other adults. LOL.   I can't believe that Thanksgiving is right around the corner, then Christmas.  Time goes by too fast, I think.  Oh well, think I'll go do some studying.

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I weighed this morning and weighed in at 196, don't really know when the plateau broke, but I stepped up my exercise and started eating more last week, refused to weigh until this morning.  I'm happy that it finally broke, I was getting really discouraged, that's why I quit weighing every morning.   I have been doing pretty good eating wise too, I haven't really had time to log my food, but obvisouly I'm doing ok, still losing and staying on track.  I feel great today!!!

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I think I might be stuck at a plateau.  The scale said on Monday that I was 198, but the next day it went up to 200.  I did lose inches but since monday and even before that the scale has not budged from 200.  I feel like I am eating more and I'm still exercising.  It's really driving me crazy.  I think I just need that scale to move so I will stay motivated, because it's not looking to good for me.  I started my job last night, it was OK.  I did quite a bit of walking and staying on my feet, so my feet are pretty sore this morning.   I wore dress shoes, like an idiot so that may be why they were hurting.  But at my job you can't wear jeans, you have to wear khakis or something like that, and I don't like wearing my tennis shoes with that, so I have my loafers which are normally comfy but I have not ever wore them for 8 straight hours. LOL.  Anyway, I hope this plateau ends soon.  Seems like I have been stuck for about 3 weeks now except for that one time it went to 198. Now I"m wondering if that was really true, which I didn't log that because I wanted to make sure it was right, and now I"m glad I didnt. 

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Well it's a Monday already@@. Ha Ha  Doing pretty good, I weighed this morning, the scale says 200.2 but I measured too and the tape says  37 1/2 inches around the waist.  I started at 46 inches.  So, I'm not too worried about the scales.  We played football yesterday, I pulled a muscle in my thigh.  It hurt like hell and still hurts. I'm so sore.  I guess it's my fault though, I did do some stretching, but I guess not enough, because the first time I took off running for the ball, I felt it pull.  I am going to try to work it out today by getting on my bike. I haven't heard anything about my job yet.  I don't know if he will get the test back today because of it being a holiday or not.  We'll see by today if he calls.  Not really worried about it, especially not about passing my drug test. I think I'm ok with that part. LOL!!  I hope this week goes by fast.  We are going today to get the kids halloween costumes, they are really excited.  Not sure yet what they are going to be, they usually wait and see what they have and then pick something.  It's really fun for us to do together.  My son is out of school all week, I am really glad because I want to spend some time with both of them together.  I haven't had much time to spend with them.  We've got a whole bunch of fun stuff planned this week. 

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Well the good news first, I broke 200 pounds today. I'm currently at 198.  Haven't weighed that in a pretty good while.  I was very excited this morning.  I think I hit like a mini plateau for about 2 weeks, glad I broke it sooner than later. I didn't eat well today, I had nothing for breakfast ( I worked out first, then was going to eat, but didn't have time), I had 2 krystal and a krystal chik for lunch and Rice for dinner.  I am still under my calories for the day and I have a HUGE def, it's like 1200 or something.  So right now I"m eating a south beach diet 100 calorie bar and drinking half a cup of milk.  Not really hungry but I know I need to eat.  I had school today, it went ok... Made B's on both of my test. I can do better than that, I ended up getting in a hurry and not fully reading the questions.  I'll do much better next time.  I have to get a job@@.  Which is not the worst thing, I actually do enjoying working.. but I thought we could make ends meet while I was going to school and for the most part we do, but I don't like to "struggle or live week to week" and here lately seems we've been doing alot of that, so I went looking for a job on Monday and the guy called me today and offered me a Front End Manager job at Food City.  It's M/W/F from 4-12 and the weekends.  I haven't really decided if I'm going to take it yet, I'm going to talk to him about the weekends, I can work them but would rather work during the day, so I can have some time for my family, the weekends are the only days that all of us are together.   I hope I can balance it all out.  School is the most important thing right now, but we need the money too.   My husband is a real worrier and he stresses alot over money. So, I figure alot of people have gone to school, raised kids and worked. So why not me.  I really think I can do anything now that I have stuck with this.  So, I think I will give it a shot and just see. It's hard for me to be really choosy with a job right now because my schedule is so screwed up, so I beggers can't be choosers I guess.  Anyway, I won't start till sometime next week anyway, so that gives me a few days to figure it out. 

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