blueyedblonde1956's Journal

Getting the protein!
Sep 23 2009 14:06

Just like TBL we have to get our veggies and fruits. funny I was never really much of a fruit eater apples was all i would eat, now it's peaches, the odd pear, grapes galour, strawberries, blue and black berries, mangos, canteloupe etc....for veggies I usually make a stew for all that or have 1 veggie with a meat for dinner...I just have trouble pushing the veggies. 

Now that I am cooking just for me since Kyle has moved out it's different I just have to remember to check my analysis every day and...

push the protein I think my weakness is because I am deficiting, I am getting at least 1200 though but my body seems to need time to adjust now, so when I am riding my bike I have to get more protein I am afraid if I don't my muscle mass will shrink.....

My biggest concern everyday I check several times throughout the day 'my analysis' and whatever I am low on is what I eat come dinner time..so if it's protein I eat more meat...if it's fiber i eat more cereals and soluable veggies etc...this is what I am doing now daily.

Goal 140ish I was 161-165lbs all summer , but due to smarties, M&M's and yogurt ice cream I gained afew to 178 I am now at 171 but must stick with it.........no cheating.

I am tired of hearing people talking about cheating though, I need to be with people who can try to be more consistent otherwise I end up cheating too...birds of a feather and all that....I wish myself and others could be more reliable i need someone to look up to, everyday I go on the thread lately and hear about this one eating ice cream or M&M's or a peice of pie or chocolate cake....THIS IS SUPPOSE TO BE A MOTIVATIONAL SITE, I need motivational people, so come on girls where have you all gone?? ggrrr..lol

BEB

Anyone have a cure for keeping wasps, bees off my patio?
Sep 17 2009 12:17

I live on a 3rd floor apartment, and like to sit on my patio to watch the sun set but almost every evening and throughout the day bees hover around or wasps or hornets, I do not see any nests and do not have flowers just herbs, is there some home remedy smell or product to deter them, it is frustrating....grrr I have tried googling this question but have had no answers? 

Attention Everyone....BIGGEST LOSER IS ON TUESDAY EVENINGS!!
Sep 17 2009 10:58

Don't forget to watch every Tuesday night!...times in your locations...on CTV or similar!  If not only to get into the show they usually have good tips and good workouts from Jillian, Bob!  Hope you tune in to the fun of it and here on 'Calling all woman over 50+' for discussions! See you Wed. for discussions!

Biggest Loser is on tv tonight! yeah!
Sep 15 2009 18:27

For all those interested The Biggest Loser show starts tonight!  our thread usually watches it and next day shares ideas and opinions..and just in time to give me that extra enthusiasm and drive to continue to count calories, exercise and lose weight...be more conscious on what I am eating too!

So hope everyone on here watches the show and checks in to comment!  30lbs till I am were I really want to be! No not the 20lb from a few months ago it is now 30 grrrr...I will do it!  Just need  my friends on here and that show as incentive!..BEB out!

Time for update!
Sep 14 2009 10:08

Well.... I haven't written in here for awhile so thought I should update!

Back on my deficiting, and better food choices again plan, been cheating with M&M's last month and frozen yogurt 'o ding' this month tiss tiss

I don't know sometimes I just get into these eating everything in site jags then I straighten out...I don't understand this at all, nor do I even know where to start!

Well the good news is my FOBT test is done, i sure hope sugar won't affect this since I ate a fair amount of it, maybe since I was vitc C, citrus fruit and red meat deprived that's why I 'O-ded' on sugar but anyway today I am having pork, pemeal bacon and eggs for dinner...haven't had that type of bacon in along time.....so looking forward to it..yummy

Haven't talked with Rick in a while so that's good actually, I have becme a hermit to some extent..now I understand why the actor "Steve McQueen went that route, he was probably happier just doing his own thing and keeping his own undisappointed company! The thing is I have noticed my lack of enthusiasm in going out lately I think it's a phase I am going through, I just don't WANT to go out, or mingle, or date, or get involved...does this mean there is something wrong with me, no! I don't think so...? at least I'm getting exercise and riding around the lake there are always people around, so....if I truly WANTED to be alone I would ride out into the country roads like I use to in the spring! and early summer...right?

Going biking again today! this is something I have been doing almost everyday lately....and while the sunny warm weather is here I plan on continuing to ride too! Going to have some breakfast and then go.....nothing worse then being weak from not eating!...

I pulled my stationary on tha patio, is this crazy or what?
Aug 26 2009 12:43

Well I have my music, the view and the kitties with me, everything I want, cause lately when I have been riding my bike Alone outside I come home feeling lousy cause I am alone so i took my indoor stationary outside on the 3rd floor patio facing the sunshine and am lis'tening to my music, talking with the cats and looking at all the action outside here today, I have to say it's better then coming home depressed, and I didn't go get beer either..good!... let Rick buy his own he can afford it, I can't...grr

Well I still miss Kyle, but it has become more manageable I at least am not crying anymore, well the odd one when watching a sad movie relating to families mom and son stuff.

I thought of a great xmas present for Kyle besides the webcam i thought Brian and I could get together....I am going to buy a blank photo album and compile Kyles life from birth to present, with all the dates, events logged etc....he doesn't have one and this would be a good starter gift for him....it's time and I think I will send him down the road his diary too but that will be when he is older and can read my writing, I have asked Brian to work with him on this....I noticed he has albums from Nicole and one from Brian and Suzanne so He should have something like this from his own mom...!  I don't know why I haven't up to now but I suspect it's the fact I always seem to have films sitting at shoppers drug mart like 10 right now and 4 to go in? grr.. I need a digital camera...hey xmas is coming!

Well I am officially back on my CC wagon, logging, counting and losing....no more M&M's, ice cream or any of the no-no foods I have all summer been indulging in, I also need to get out more biking etc....so i want to lose the 5 i just gained plus the 20lbs that BEX, CAROL Are doing too...

As for MEN: well what can I say, dissapointed with the constant disappointments there....heartaches, etc...but I don't want to grow old alone...I dread and am scared of it...looking back at an empty decade of memories...grrrrwith noone to share with, does scare me.....anyway one day at a time....!  but I have to get out, not mope around the house so much!

Rick is coming over next week and kiddingly he says "are you going to pamper me"? what does that mean...food wise? or what (i Know it doesn't mean sex or anything, as we are JUST friends)I didn't get a chance to have him explain as he called me from work....oh well I will ask him when I talk to him next....and as for dating well I still go to the odd SS (simcoe singles club) activities they are doing an ABBA tribute concert at Kyles old School "central" so it will feel sad a little to go there knowing he isn't there now...wha but that isn't until NOV4th in any case.

Received a dirty email today and told Glenn I didn't appreciate that sort of thing, 2 black naked women showering with large breasts washing each other...excuse me!!  turns out he says he didn't send it and called me to tell him that someone has hacked into his email....how can they do that without a "Password"? anyway I deleted him thinking it was him originally then undeleted when he said it wasn't him, I do believe him...anyway!

I am off to go biking and why is it I always want a beer when there isn't one in my fridge, and if there was some in there I wouldn't be craving one now...grrr anyway I need to buy a few as Rick is coming next week and anyway it is the best excuse I can think of to get my butt outside riding my bike...lol He has always been there to talk to me usually in a crisis so friendship is good! I am selling him a bike item for $$ that his son needs, and Kyle doesn't want so for the favor I suppose I should cook dinner...or maybe we could just go out, I don't really feel like doing much cooking these days, not having Kyle to cook for I have gotten a little forgetful to do it!  I eat salads now again...so I will have to when I get my EOM cheque buy some veggies and lettuce fixings!

Anyway the 'Biking Queen' is off to live up to my name!..BEB

I figured out why I keep crying!
Aug 03 2009 12:13

1st - the obvious reason Kyle has left, before I could prepare emotionally for it!

2nd - I have NEVER ever lived alone before, i went from mom and dads in Toronto to marriage to Ed in Mississauga back to mom and dads to friends again in Mississauga, lived with friends for years, then marriage again, back to mom and dads in Toronto Brian lost his job 3 weeks before the wedding (company closure) we were living apart at mom and dads when mom past away, Brian came back, dad left, then we moved to Mississauga then to Barrie then split up again...then Kyle and I moved here and now he is gone, so in all my life this is the first time I am Totally alone, so I have to adjust!  My life sounds like a soap opera doesn't it?

All I can say is this thankgod for hydro and cats!  The power gives me the tv which is company for me, I don't know how people live in the bush without electricity it would drive ME insane for sure...........bush fever!>>>get me outta here...hehehe really though perhaps this is all I will ever have but I am going this week to get my passport pics so who knows what the future may bring...........so girls if some forlorn looking blonde asks to come visit let me in......that means hey I got out of the house okay!!..lol

On the POF dating scene site...well i must have wrote an interested profile I have had responses who all say "Nice profile" now are they talking picture or written words i wonder??

My heart wasn't in it!
Aug 02 2009 16:23

I went to Kempenfest yesterday ran into 2 past friends, boy have they aged, went to the concert stayed about 15 minutes my heart wasn't in it!

Went and joined P.O.F. a free online dating service, responded to a few mens pics but again my heart isn't in it!

I should be out there doing things but I don't feel like it!

My heart just isn't in it!  

What's this empty nest syndrome??..I don't know either but my you got it....

"HEART ISN'T IN IT"

The sun is shining too, so what's wrong with me!

I miss my son! This is to much!
Jul 31 2009 08:17

I think for 17 years I had a purpose, and now I feel lost, Rick is busy with his "family", so alone again, Kemenfest festival this is whos singing at it http://www.kempenfest.com/music3.htm or www.kempenfest.com but there are lots of things to do, midway oh why did i have to say that, this is what I mean I can't think of anything without thinking of KYle, oh god this hurts to much, here goes the flood gates again...the festival will be here all long weekend and my heart just isn't in it!  Rick asked about Kim Mitchell tonight singing there so I don't know if that's means he's interested or not? He said he may come, not sure, the darn weather here sucks! He bought a 2007 GMC Sierra 4x4 SLE pickup truck, woohoo, with a bose stereo system!

I really need to start thinking what to do with this empty, boring life, I can't believe how much I actually relied on Kyle to fill my own emptiness inside!  He wasn't just my son, my baby he was also my companion!  The place feels so dam empty and to think it will be like this day after day after month after month, I just can't bare the thought! 

Thought maybe the tears were subsiding, who am i kidding?
Jul 30 2009 17:56

In getting all of Kyles laundry done that he brought home, I discovered he hardly took any clothes at all, he didn't want my help packing but he sure needed it, I mean all those nice new clothes, closet is full, drawers are full, all his socks, underwear, t-shirts, pants, shorts, bathing suits and many hoody sweaters are all still here, when he was going for good did he think a month was for good?  maybe it hasn't hit him yet really either?, for good means for life or at least a few years, so i guess Brian will have to come back to get some more stuff, but as I was packing up some forms, to fax ...gathering and going through all the school IEP papers, psychological assessment testing reports (2) for faxing and i emailed the telephone #'s to Nicole, it also 'dawned on me', again, my baby is gone for good, and of course the flood gates of tears started again,

I think Jill is right it may take me 2 weeks not 2 days maybe longer, I may never get use to this, 17 years of him always being here....how can I live without him!  Man i sure am an emotional right off at 53 I am not getting older, just more emotional!  I don't know how I am going to make it through, i really don't I so wish I wasn't forced to choose this way, it would have been easier if I really had the time to properly prepare, both of us, to plan, accept, but I never like to make such hasty decisons, I know it's for the best, and I know he'll be fine, but will I....I can't help it girls I feel like a lost lamb here, hey Alice do you have any room over there for a lost lamb?? ahhhh boo hoo hoo!baa baa