blueyedblonde1956's Journal

Well my deficit resting is over, back to losing!
Mar 09 2009 13:21

Since i have been for so long cal. deprived i took the weekend off, and i was so busy spring cleaning i probably needed those extra cals. today i am back on have those 20lbs to lose.  Still wailting to hear from doc even after i have called, she must be busy, or waiting on therapist in any case i am still doing my dumbbells and riding, just not situps, so i am lifting legs for same effect, seems to be less intrusive on my back on the couch, but i wonder is that working for my abs of legs???

!  Nice sunny day today around 0 degrees, i am using the gigantic snowhill as a guide to spring thaw!!  Once i can see the horizon i'll know the snow is melting..lol  Want to see a Robin so bad!!

On ward and at em!!!!!!!!!!!!

for those interested in yesterdays post!
Mar 08 2009 18:13

Boy i have been a busy bee.....so busy spring cleaning, cleaning closets, washing some of my garments in the closet, all my negliges in case i need them..lol, cleaned and washed some clothes from the drawers too, some poor family is going to have some nice clothes from what i cleaned out of Kyles and my room...people mentioned my hyper energy, i have just always had a lot of energy my whole life, relaxing doesn't come to easy for me but i force myself in the evenings watching my shows, but when danicng with the stars and so you think you can dance starts again i'll be up dancing to them...lol

Well the sun was out finally today, i was actually standing on my balcony with Angel, it was beautiful...was hoping to see a Robin but not yet..less then 2 weeks til spring yippee!!  Well i did a work out, no wonder i ate a bit more then usually the last couple days i have been working like a fiend, did 3 MORE loads of  laundry again today only did 3 like 2 days ago...lol everythings is clean now!It's 6pm and still +7 here...yeah!! Love DST

Got to get my carpets cleaned, they are really getting dirty from tracking in dirt, and we always take our shoes off, so it must be Angels fault!!!!!!!!!!hehehe...lol.............lol...

This is my back diagnosis!!
Mar 07 2009 00:01

This is the report i received May26/04 to which i imagine it has gotten worse, since!

Bonny you husband has problems with his L1-L5 to which i hope they can help him without surgery these are mine:

***For me Bonny this is the situation i had a transverse process fracture in L1, on the right side, L1-L2  degenerative disc disease with moderate disc space narrowing on the left side and anterior osteophytic formation.   There is annular bulging of those discs.  The L4-L5 has annular bulging of the discs and at L-5-S1 there is central disc herniation.  This is irritating the transversing S-1 nerve roots!  There is osteophyte arising from the interior end plate of L-5 posterolaterally on the right, which is abutting the exiting L-5 nerve root and irritating it.  There is degenerative disc disease at L2-L3...!! Phew that is my case, now i am able to do some things, but standing, and sitting is where i have trouble for any length...30 minutes somedays is my limit, like in the kitchen so i take 650-10 or 325-5 x2 percocets every morning before getting out of bed, or i don't get out!, then at 11-12pm i take 40mg of oxycontin, at about 6-7pm 2 more percocets, and at 9pm 40mg of oxycontin again, now this is a day when i am NOT doing anything in particular just hanging around the house, if i am going to get groceries, shopping, walking at all, sitting not lying down for longer then 30 minutes, biking, golfing or in plain doing anything then i am taking more perks!!  This is my daily life, but i have learned the hardest thing.....to live with it, that's why i get upset sometimes when i hear of all the fun i am missing out on!  Not to worry though i usually handle it, it's just hard being i was such an athlete you know!!   Anyway I have adjusted! I just hope Bonny they can help your man!! 

....Have fun golfing tomorrow, i wish i was going with you Bonny!!  FOUR!!!!!!!!!!oh hey don't forget your 9 iron in case you want to get some frustration out on a tree, think i already said that, oh well my club of choice is the 3 iron i love it, well the driver off the tee...hehehe

I am holding at 160lbs  that's okay..no complaints i think one day i wil get on the scale and see a nice drop, again till then i wil continue to perservere!  Called the doctor back and she has to return my call maybe early next week! 

I actually am starting to feel good about my figure again in clothes, in the mirror i can see how slim i am starting to get, feeling sexy...lol well i am trying too!!Now i just got to finish this last 20 or so pounds, get into a bikini and i wil be happy!  I hope i can get rid of a little more of my chin too, see more definition in my jawline...picky...picky...i know!!

Kyle the 16 year old ADHD son is becoming impossible, again!!
Mar 05 2009 13:17

Having trouble with Kyle again, skipping classes and his attitude is again appalling!  The way he talks to me, if i EVER talked to my parents that way i wouldn't have been able to sit for a week, and freedom well NOT!  It's hard to disipline him (i can't afford ) on disability to give him the things he always needs or wants right now  trying to pay off visa from xmas so i am feeling guilty about that, also how can i disipline him when he doesn't come home after school goes straight to his friends down the street, comes in around 9pm and goes straight to his room, i mean i like the space but....?  We never talk much anymore it always seems to turn into a who can talk louder match..and  i don't want to go there? (i'll do what i want) I lose my cool and tell him to move then and do it somewhere else) of course i don't really mean it...there is so much mental and emotional development still for him to learn...god i have to remind him every morning to brush his teeth...grrr....and i shouldn't have to treat him like a kid but he is, Rick thinks i am too protective but Rick is not here much how does he know what i have to deal with grr, i hate to say it but he is getting more and more like his father....i had hoped being away from him since Kyle was 8 (2000) that that would make a difference but maybe it's in his genes(hoped he was more like me in that dept)  So it's i make my demands, get him to acknowledge he heard me, and that's pretty much it.  He's 16 and to take away his games won't work, he'll just stare out the window, cutting his freedom gets on my nerves, so i don't have many options except i played the only card i know, i don't like doing it cuz i feel like a snitch (breaking trust between us) but i called his P.O. and his Principal and waiting for them to call....grr..kids To me his education should be the front runner, and lately he is cutting classes to be with others doing the same thing, i am not suspected drugs or booze, but just goofing off, he won't have much of a future without an education, he's passing his grades barely but with the ADHD he has always had the special IEP programs, and is doing classes he likes, shop, metal, woodworking and of course the manditory ones, so i just don't get it 4 subjects a day isn't alot in my day we had 7-8 of them! Sorry girls didn't mean to dump........now i feel better got that load off my chest, at least i didn't run to a bottle for comfort!, in times of stress!BEB

My bad 4th stats! But try to do better today!
Mar 05 2009 00:00

I entered this before the 5th as mornings i have to much to do, so since i don't eat after 7:30pm I can post this now for the 5th!!It is 11pm

Here is my shamed stats, for Wednesday C+ I ate a really large healthy julienne salad, ( hard boiled egg, cheese, ham, chicken strips, tomatoes, alfalfa sprouts, raisins, tiny handful of almond/cashew nuts, apple pieces and a large variety of lettuces, and homemade mustand honey lemon dressing!)  a drink, 3 tiny baby 20 calorie chocolates and a couple of my kraft strawberry 5 calorie jello puddings with 3 Tbsps. dream whip and i got a nasty C+ grrrr...i hope that is off!  But i did walk all over Hell's half acre shopping today (i'm paying for that with my back now) grr and rode me bike for 30 minutes, yesterday i did my dumbbell weights, i need (if allowed) to get heavier ones something around 40lbs for my tricep curls, and arounf 40-60lbs for bicep ones..well my shoulder is getting slowly better, i still can't lift as much weight with it but getting better, if of course i stop reinjuring that darn rotator cuff am tired of waiting for the doctors i will call tomorrow i want to do my sit-ups (i was bad last night tuesday and did them) but couldn't do as many since it's been a few days now, how quickly the body forgets them...gggrrr

I was told to ignore the ratings, this is depressing,  maybe i should!! 

 902 calories!

Fat - 26.6% (27 grams)
Protein - 18.8% (43 grams)
Carbohydrates - 18.5% (42 grams)
Alcohol - 16.4% (21 grams)
Other - 19.6%

Daily Sodium Intake - 668 mg
Daily Sugar Intake - 31 grams
Daily Cholesterol Intake - 317 mg
Daily Saturated Fat Intake - 12 grams
Daily Fiber Intake - 3 grams
Nutrition Grade

Tomorrow Thursday more fiber (cereal) and vegetables!!  But i had such a nice salad,   I can't do well every day but i try to get everything i need throughout the week!  I hope that counts towards a healthy lifestyleI needed a little sugar today!  Just a little of the dream whip and 3 little 20 cal. chocolates, don't shoot me!!  Important thing i kept the bad cals. down!  Want to see 159lbs before spring!lol

So here's my little cartoon joke for today! For us over 50+..lolWell my back says enough...enough..go lie down!! Night all!!Or good morning depends how you look at it..confused yet??  I know i'm getting there!!lol

I got an "A" on my stats yesterday!!I am happy!!
Mar 04 2009 07:07

Fat - 25.6% (34 grams)
Protein - 17.7% (52 grams)
Carbohydrates - 46.9% (138 grams)
Alcohol - 0.0%
Other - 9.8%

Daily Sodium Intake - 914 mg
Daily Sugar Intake - 51 grams
Daily Cholesterol Intake - 155 mg
Daily Saturated Fat Intake - 13 grams
Daily Fiber Intake - 35 grams
Nutrition Grade

1180 calories!! And again a -750 deficit(my daily goal)...Bonny, Chris, Snow and everyone look i did it!!an AAAAA...yeah!!

I am so happy, i got an "A" in my stats today...woohoo!!  Well girls as you know i also seem to struggle to get one, and A i mean, and since i went on that really low 600 cal. deal to get to 160lbs by my birthday i hadn't been able to post my stats, as you all would have jumped on my band wagon....woo..woo..woo..woo !!like a bunch of deranged indians saying raise your stats..raise your stats!...lol...well i guess eating more squash, veal eggplant, julienne salad and apples with no other sugar puddings or salad dressings (making my own now) so no preservatives.  That has made a significant difference too.  I expect that now i only have 1680 on my sedentary burn meter so it's getting harder now.  When i started it seemed alot easier to burn off calories, biking, weights and -deficiting etc because my sedentary burn meter was 1860 when i started now it's almost 200cals less that's about 300 more calories now i have to burn to achieve the same deficit unless i cut back on calories and i won't do that unless absolutely necessary....although i still say what i did for that 1 week worked for me it is not a lifestyle plan....but it did scare up my scale, and it's  movement which was my goal right!! 

The "other" category is it possible that's potassium??????????

Still waiting to hear from the doctor office on my regiment that i can do since my 100 situps are out now?  Waaa i hope they give me something to strengthen the abs!  Lose that 20 from it!!

I am not Jullian but i agree with her Laura is a whiner, i can't stand a whiner....someone who legitimately is trying there best and complains, that's one thing, but someone like that chick at the beginning of the show (forgot her name) Karla friend, who was bumped off wasn't even trying and was lazy..grrhate lazy people...get off your butt.........yeah i shold have been a cop (sargent major)  hehehe

Anyway i am happy about my A and i will try for another one today!! bye all!!BEB

Bachelor really hit a nerve!!
Mar 03 2009 07:58

When I moved to T/O in 72, finished school started working  at 17 when i was working and dating at my first job in Toronto at the CIBC bank had met one of the 75 men i would walk by everyday (had to dress nice) and deliver and pick up from them credit files Bill Foster was one of these top business men a very tall, kind, gentle, caring, 29 year old rich man who i use to pass his desk several times a day, we always (his initiation) chatted and he started passing me secret notes till one day he invited me out, well he introduced me to a very rich lifestyle, operas, posh restaurants, mansions, chalet weekends, i shared beautiful times with him in trips in his 2 airplanes up north, the weekends where he treated me with the utmost gentlemanly conservative respect, in other words just dated (no hanky panky) he had a 7 year old son and fell in love with me, loved my figure my long blonde hair, my fresh, young, honest personality i was young i guess he felt he could mold me into the wife and mother he wanted, he was into pschology and at the time i found i had such sames interests, the only man i ever knew where we could just sit for hours and hours and talk, i truly felt he understood me (seldom people do) even STILL, not someone just trying to get into my pants, and there were a few of those, which turned me off men, prefered my girlfriends company then.  If i had any regrets at all, that would be it!!   He wanted to marry me, i let peer pressure and the fact i didn't think i was ready to be an "instant mother" interfer with my heart, and judgement.  He was the only truly loving affectionate caring man i truly ever had, just the way he stroked my hair use to send goosebumps down my back and that mistake has eaten me up for years. I could have had a beautiful life, instead of years and years of bad realtionships, and men ! 

 Now there's Rick this man i deeply care for, i think he cares to but like Rick we have both been hurt, but he keeps doing things that make me crawl back into my shell, like days of silence without word, the fact he always seems to put his friends before me,   Well he does when he touches me just touches me he makes me have those feelings no other man has been able to do that in years of dating, they all seemed more like buddies then anything more like Glenn i could feel, Rick is different this constantly misunderstanding each other online (which happens) is annoying, i keep telling him that i don't understand why he doesn't give me the benefit of the doubt when he is not sure how i meant something or at least ask before jumping to conclusions....MEN!!  lol

I just want to be loved, held, touched, i want to feel safe in someones arms again, have someone i can lean on in bad times not just the good, i am tired of fighting this world alone, is there any good men left, and when you have a back disability, are over 50, and have a live at home child, the odds sure go down at finding one too!  Better stop now gonna get myself all emotional!! Too Late!!  I was an emotional drinker, and an emotional eater these are things i have to fight cravings for everytime i get upset, i want to eat alot or drink alot, i daily do not crave either, but when i get upset emotional or hurt that's my pattern, anyway on with my day!!  I hope i don't read about someones food temptation cheat today, it's hard enough to resist without being constantly reminded on our thread!!..lol  Will i ever be happy again..? Now i am sad!!!! 

BEB

Talk about agony!
Mar 02 2009 09:49

There is always a price to pay for having a good time!  My back is killing me i have to lie down sitting or standing is not on my menu today either!....i hate my back is bringing me down...i didn't do anything out of the ordinary on Sat my birthday but boy am i suffering today too, just like yesterday, i was sitting on hard seats, only danced a little, but i guess i am not use to exerting my back this way, so i am down for the count.  Even sitting here typing this is painful so i have to go, won't be back till i can be back!  I hate my back sometimes!! grrrr.  Have to give Kyle something out of a tin today, won't be cooking either..!

20lbs to go!!
Mar 01 2009 16:21

I just realized i have lost 37lbs took me just over a year but i did also take 6 months off last summer, so i guess about a year to do the 37lbs so i should feel thankful...now the really hard part begins the last 20lbs to go i wanted to get there by MAY..if i work real hard no cheating, and i have put any notions of having any drinks back in the cupboard, i will not drink anymore now till i reach my goal...........that and counting my calories i will hear hopefully from the doctor's office tomorrow on my schedule, they should fax it to me, so i'll have to plug in my phone..........to my p.c. i love this little acer laptop........took only a few minutes to download my pics from last summer etc...and 1400 songs at my fingertips.  It's like a kid with a new toy.

I hope the girls can get to there goals soon, i feel bad for them, of course i totally understand being there alot myself, i can imagine that 5 last pound struggle been there before...funny when your younger it always seem so easy to lose it last time i dieted i ate 800 calories everyday and my exercise was natural, riding my bike, chopping wood for the fireplace in eutopia house i had, also gardening, hiking etc...so i am going to do this again! Well back to Clint eastwood and Shirley Mclaine in "two mules for sister sara!..

Well it's official!
Feb 28 2009 01:35

It's official   and 1:35am Saturday i am relaxing, watching tv and wide awake (by choice) i love staying up late on Friday nights of course once spring gets here i will want to be up early, to get outside and do activities, i am a little sad dad didn't send me a birthday card, so i sure hope he calls me today!...his memory isn't what he use to be, he should do what i do sit down Jan1st and write all the bd's, appointments whatever down in my calender, computer agenda that reminds me or whatever you tend to look at first thing in the morning....

I was hungry today but didn't do anything food wise i will regret, a couple apples, i have my second wind now, now i am definitely going to try and go out tomorrow, i would love to go the the Keg and then dancing...i was invited to go to the legion Tonight (but everyone there is so "clicky" and i hate "HATE" feeling like a fifth wheel...i am a little shy until i have a couple drinks to open up then i get interesting....isn't it sad to be shy at 53...!! that's probably why i started drinking at 14...mind you it was only a couple beers, now i was talking to Kyle he might like to go get his hair styled..yeah anything is better then that mop he has been supporting, for 16 years i have been cutting and doing his hair either with scizzors or the grooming hair cutting kit with shaver etc that i bought 2 xmas's ago and usually in the summer he likes the buzz cut...who knows now that girls are becoming of interest perhaps a nice style will give him a nice feeling sexy...cool! etc....

Come summer i may get that total layer that Devon mentioned today for my hair, she said i can keep it long but the layering wil not weigh my hair down as much and therefore perhaps give it more life...i don't know i wish the girls were with me to hold my hand on this one!!i was so tempted but want to wait till i get rid of the rest of my neck, belly and face weight first. Rick thinks if i go to 140 i will be a bean pole..NOT i still have 5 inches to shed on my stomach...maybe my legs are now bean poles but my stomach is still there.....geting smaller but...?but i have lost my axx i mean i can't sit anywhere very long now without my butt hurting, i never had this problem before having a boney axx!!  What's a girl to do.

So i picked up 6 films from shoppers today and downloaded them, my camera must have not loaded properly twice because 2 films only had 4 pics out of 24...bummer!!  My halloween, concert and beach pics came out nice though!..anyway back to the  "american Beauty movie"  !!

Looking forward to tonight!.... hope i get a call from family and Rick!!