bree9643's Journal
Ranty rant rantNov 15 2008 17:14
Bah Week 3 is much slower but at least the number is still going down.
Loaded all my fave music onto my iPod today so elliptical will now be much more fun. :)
My mom is being freakishly supportive and I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand it feels really good to have someone congratulate me and she's being great about asking me what foods she should buy for me and giving me healthy meal suggestions. On the other hand, I don't want her to think that it was OK to say the hurtful things she said, or that it was worth it. She was out of line to attack me like that, and making me hate myself is not cool. If I was losing because of what she said I'd simply stop eating. Instead I'm doing it my way.
I'm also a bit fed up with how Chad is dealing with this. He says he wants to be supportive but he's absolutely not. He tells everyone he knows that I'm losing weight, and even how much I'm losing (which is personal!) and in a "isn't my girlfriend crazy?" tone of voice. He constantly harrasses me to eat crappy food. Yesterday he actually held a glass of Coke under my nose (which is weird, gross and unsupportive!) and he and Dylan would not stop bugging me about the popcorn twists. Not to mention the incredibly unhealthy relationship he has with food, that he thinks I should share. I'm sorry you would rather die than eat a salad, and seem to live entirely off ice cream and fat - I happen to think vegetables and fruits can be quite delicious. I'm sorry you shovel everything into your mouth as fast as possible "to get it over with" - I will actually sit down to eat, and chew my food. I'm sorry you have horrible eating habits and maintan your weight by fasting and over-exercising after your binges - I'm not gonna do it too. And I know you justify your diet by getting other people to eat crappy things with you so that, by comparison, you're not so bad. It's why you eat out all the time. But no longer are you gonna be "at least not as bad as Breanne." I'm sorry if my new, thoughtful relationship with food makes you feel guilty but that's something you need to change about yourself, not a problem with me. And I'd be happy to help you, as long as you don't try to drag me down.
The concern about my boobs I understand though. ;)
End of rant.
I wasn't quite sure what to make of my mom's support. Maybe I'm just oversensitive when it's my family, but it felt like she ended up even more conscious of my diet than me. Now, long after I've stopped the strict dieting, she keeps trying to sell me on things by telling me that they help "people" lose weight. Straight away I start thinking "you mean I still need to lose more?" I guess she's just trying to be helpful. Now that I'm happy with my own weight, I don't take it as seriously, but it does get annoying. As for my boyfriend, he just kept putting his foot in it. In the end we had to agree that neither of us was going to talk to us about it. |
