brownsug's Friends

Biggest Loser Final Weight = 158.2 (Total loss of 32.8 lbs. for the year = 17.2% of my initial body weight; 29.8 lbs since I have been on CC = 15.9% of my initial body weight; 27.8 lbs since I started the 1st Challenge = 14.9% of my initial body weight

I should place/if not WIN the challenge but I just found out that I am disqualified because I missed 3 weigh ins (the max you can miss is 2). Nevermind the fact that I missed one because the lady running the challenge came in late the day that she was supposed to weigh me.

Oh well...at least I am wearing size 8 clothes again

I broke up with my BF last night. It was kind of surreal. He was unemotional but did say that he did not want to break up. I am relieved that it's over but a little sad because I do care about him.

I will be stepping cautiously into the next relationship. Will probably just remain "unattached" for awhile.

im already at 1400 something calories... guess i wont eat dinner tonight.. thats insane.. i treated myself to some chicken sandwhich and mcdonalds.. the plain one.. that bitch has like 560 cals in it by itself.. i already knew the fries had 380... then i had a brownie later during the day.. so wow... like i said.. no dinner.. ill just munch on some sun flower seeds (with the shells.... no im noteating the shells!) and im going to the gym today also so that should kinda burn some of these cals..

Earlier this year my baby brother was offered a job in Kuwait. I told him to go for it and initially he was. To my surprise he let our parents talk him out of it

I had just started considering contracting overseas right before I got in contact with SB as I know several people that are doing that in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Kuwait. Well now that I am scheduled to go to Kuwait for a visit this is my opportunity to see if I could deal with living there. SB says he will help me find a job and unlike my bro, I am going for it! The pay is WAY more than I could make here in SC and it is tax free. I could pay off my debt and build up a nice savings in just 1 year. The employers provide furnished apartments for the workers and pretty much have a lot of things that we have here in the states (Chile's, TGI Fridays, etc). Of course there are things they don't have as it is an Islamic country but I could survive for 1 - 2 years overseas. My family and friends are just a flight away and everybody is on Facebook LOL. I know my parents will not be happy but it's my life.

I just think I need a total 180 degree change. I spent most of my adult life in and out of relationships where I gave everything and received very little. I chased committment instead being committed to taking care of myself. From now on the man in my life will not determine my happiness. My focus is now on my health, my career, and being debt free. If I am going to be in a relationship, he will have to cater to me. I will still give but not like I used to without a formal committment.

I also want to travel. Can you believe that my trip to Kuwait will be my first time out of the country? I am just now getting my passport at the age of 37...

Tried to have the "break up" talk with my BF last night. Totally did not happen the way I thought it would. He actually had cooked dinner last night and we were having a pleasant evening but after a weekend away at the beach with no "change" I felt I needed to get it over with.

Our issue is that last August I revealed that I had withheld some information from him. Instead of breaking up with me and cutting me off as he normally would have done as he considered it a "lie", he said that he was going to learn how to "forgive". Last night he said that he is trying and that I have to let him work it out in his own time. I feel that if after 1 1/2 years of me "making" it up to you and you are still not completely over it, you may never be. He looked me in my eyes and told me that if I tell him that I don't want to be with him anymore that we could break up. My punk azz couldn't do it even though I believe I should! He did get perturbed when I told him about my invitation to Kuwait. He said that if I really cared about us then I wouldn't even consider going but if I want to go then I should. I'm just tired of being rejected by my own man so I am still working out my travel plans.

After the "talk", everything went back to a normal evening of watching tv and chit chat. He even massaged my feet until I went to sleep.

I know the grass always looks greener on the other side but every man comes with issues and the guy in Kuwait (SB) is no exception. He has 3 sons. A 14 year old with his ex wife and an 8 and 7 year old with his ex girlfriend. The only sign that I have that his interest is not just because he is lonely and horny over there in Kuwait, is that he says he's "picky" and he was interested 10 years ago. He says that I can call him at any time (he'll wake up and talk to me if he is sleeping). We have stayed on the phone for 3-4 hours at a time without running out of things to talk about. So it's good for right now but I am not comfortable moving forward without my current situation being dealt with.

I need some kahunas...

so freakin' sweet! i'm finally out of the 180s, which i've been in since september, and weighed in today at 179.4!!

i have to absorb that. i started this weighing 320 pounds. i forget that sometimes. all i notice is the fat i still have to lose, the loose, wrinkly skin patches that are probably never gonna go away, but i rarely remember where i started, and how far i've come. i have lost one hundred and forty-one pounds. nearly half my body weight. definitely the weight of an average-sized woman.

i can't comprehend that. i don't have any pictures of me from 1998-2008 and i never used full-length mirrors, so i can't really compare my current body to my old body. god, i feel like i didn't exist for those 10 years. in a way i didn't. i lost an entire decade of my life. what a fucking waste. well, no more of that. today is a day of happiness! i'm only 29 pounds from my ultimate goal; i WILL make it!

I feel betrayed!  What the hell happened to my ass!  I've obviously exercised it off...literally!  uggh!  I know this may sound utterly ridiculous to most unless you are of African American decent.  In our culture, we truly value curves.  This includes shapely tops and even shapelier bottoms...and I've loss mine due to my weight loss. 

Someone mentioned it last week when I went home and I was sadden by that.  I have no ass! whaaaa!  I truly feel like I'm mourning my loss by not exercising this week.  I need help immediately!  Can someone put out an Amber Alert for it or something?  Or should I just place an obituary in the newpaper for it.  I don't understand because it seems like it was just there yesterday! 

Currently, I'm searching youtube videos trying to find how to become bootylicous once again.  Until then can one of my new non-ass sisters tell me where I can buy one of those booty pants so I can "fake it until I can make it"?

Don't laugh, folks!  With you losing weight, the booty wrangler or reeper could be coming for you next!  Guard your booty!

i weighed inday and ive lost 1 lbs.. lol... wow.. 6 days of working out and all i get is the one lb.  no its not a platue im to soon into it to be platuing.. its because my eating has suced this week!!! but its time to buckle down this week........ i want to see a 3 lb lose on that scale..!

yup yup ive been doing it.. today i didnt want to do it but i did.......got my booty up at 6:30.. ( a little late because i laid in bed for about 10 extra minutes) got up and worked out to my dvd video.. i decided that im going to go to the gym every other day... which is going to throw my schedule off because i usually work out in the morning but on my gym days im going to have to work out in the evenings.. oh well.. my weigh in is thurday... lets see how it goes!

You all know that I have a boyfriend whom I care for deeply. While he is good to me, he is not very affectionate and WILL NOT talk marriage even though we've been together since July 08 (at one point I was calling him my fiance to see if that would bring marriage talk around, but it was to no avail). Plus he never wants to go anywhere (I have to literally beg him and most times he still says no).

Well I and a bunch of classmates from high school have found each other on Facebook. This includes SB. Now when we were in school SB was my height (I'm 5'1") and scrawny. He was cute but we were just friends. In 2000 the day of our 10 year reunion, SB and another friend stopped by my parent's house. OMG...SB was over 6 feet tall, built, and GORGEOUS He had joined the marines after graduation and I guess Siemper Fi does a body good!!!! Even my mom commented on how handsome he was after he left. Think Sheriff Troy from Tyler Perry's "Why did I get Married" movie...this is NOT AN exaggeration.

I didn't see him at the reunion but later found out that all the chicks that ignored him in high school were literally throwing themselves at him. That's not a suprise; fake azz shallow skanks...but I digress LOL After that SB and I lost touch. I often wondered about what it would have been like if we had got together then.

Here's my dillema...

Now that we found each other on Facebook, SB and I have been talking. He's still the same SB that I was cool with in school just in a different shell. It seems he thought I was in a relationship in 2000 and that is why he did not make a move then. He is now a contractor in Kuwait and wants me to come see him next month! Right now I honestly can't think of a reason why I should not go.

My sister and one of my best male friends say that I should do what makes me happy. What do you guys think?