bulma_85_16's Journal

Disaster!

Dec 04 2009 06:42

Well yesterday was a disatster! It started out really well with a nice breakfast....and tehn I forgot to pack my lunch!!! We also had pharmacology lab. I got so stressed out during it I almost cried. Luckily I held it in, but when I got home I forgot all of my good habits and binged. The old monster reared its ugly head once more! I ate about 2 pieces of pumpkin pie, some bread, and 2 bowls of cerea, and a cinnamon roll,l over several hours! What a mess!!! Of course my blood sugar sky rocketed. Luckily it was back down this morning. Hopefully I will remmeber to pack my lunch today and get in some good exercise this weekend.

3rd day

Dec 02 2009 06:30

Happily I have been sticking to my goals, and I have already seen a vast improvement in my blood sugar! It has gone down dramatically to, and is now between 70 - 140 most of the time with the occasional 160-195. It is such a relief. It also makes me appreiate the fact that I don't really need a ton of carbs to get through the day and feel satisfied. A little bread, and several servings of fruit work great! I have been more active throughout the day and am trying to get in 20-40 minute walk at some point during the day. Need to find a way to take vitamins without feeling sick though, ad start drinking more water.

Breakfast: Eggs, bread was still hungry so I had a little cheese.

Lunch: Taking carrots and maybe some cheese.

Concerned

Dec 01 2009 06:31

I know someday I will want to eat with everyone else, but right now I barely have time to exercise. So how can I lose weight if my calorie deficit isn't high. I am concerned about starvation mode, so I think I will try to avoid the big deficit like I had yesterday....still...how can I lose weight when it seems like I don't have time to exercise? I guess I will try to increase my activity throughout the day for the rest of the semester and then start a real exercise program during Christmas break.

Breakfast: Carrots and some cheese: Craved the cheese so I allowed it in breakfast...hopefully it slows down my carb absorption as well. It did get me to about 300 calories, so a good breakfast.

Lunch: No idea....I really need to go shopping for healthy foods after this week

Lunch: Had a delicious salad. Got dressing on the side, but should have avoided it altogether as it wasn't that good. It had some calorie dense foods in it (blue cheese, walnuts), but I think it was a good choice. healthy fat and protein can be tolerated. Really hungry now though. :(

Dinner: Veggies with Parmesan cheese, I'm defrosting my beef so I can make something tasty tomorrow.

I hate being fat. I really must take a walk tonight. I should probably do it now since I am super distracted.

This has to work.

Nov 30 2009 08:26

I can't keep being miserable because of my weight. I need to learn to love myself at any weight, but I also need to lose this weight so I can live a long healthy life.

Breakfast: Had cottage cheese, don't feel guilty because I didn't have to take a ton of insulin to cover it.

Lunch: Think I'll take some carrots and turkey, won't have to cover that with a lot of insulin.

Healthy Choice: I'm throwing out the corn casserole from Thanksgiving, so no more eating that calorie bomb.

I ended up having a salad for lunch with salmon. It was really good, and filled me up nicely.

Dinner: I had veggies sprinkled with Pamesan cheese and some leftover turkey. I am going to check my blood sugar in a bit, and see if the apple I ate earlier has spiked my blood sugar. If so I will exercise to help bring it down. Otherwise, I will keep on studying, as I am super behind in all my classes.

Exercise: 20 minute walk at a brisk pace, also did some ab work....if I keep it up I am pretty sure I can someday have a nice stomach that is well defined. Maybe I may try for a six pack...but that is a long time away...at least 60 lbs. away.My first goal is to just lose 10 lbs....but someday I hope to weigh less than my boyfriend...who is about 160 lbs. Who knows...if I reach 140 I might let him pick me up...the real goaal though is 120lbs. + I would like to be fit so that I can train for a marathon or triathalon...it is a long time away....but I will do it someday!!!

Let's Go!!!

Nov 14 2009 14:08

So last night was a complete fiasco. I was planning on not drinking anything or overeating and I did both. I haven't been working out either, school is just too important right now. I have to pass this next test with flying colors. I think this week I will just concentrate on eating well, and getting back into the swing of things after this last midterm.

Mad, sad and bad.

Nov 12 2009 07:56

Gotta stay on the wagon, but it's harder when I don't exercise in the morning. School really gets in the way. I guess that's an excuse, but I hate the fact that we fail out if we get a 74%, especially when I feel like I get too nervous during the tests because I am afraid of failing out!!!

I read a post today by some one who said 2 sodas a day was a lot of caffeine....if they could only see our apartment after an exam. Last time I came home there were probably 15-20 cans scattered about the apartment. That's 5 cans for each of us, and last exam I also had 2 of the 5 hour energy drinks to try to stay awake and study as long as possible.

Of course we also drink a lot during school. Sitting in class all day fro 7-8 hours is taxing. Maybe not for a lot of people but for me it is a nightmare. I so wish I could go back to undergrad where we had class, walk to next class, class walk to next class, clas, walk home for lunch. Now it is Class, bathroom break, class, bathroom break, class, eat lunch while trying to study. I guess this really isn't about weight loss, it's more about school. I hate school right now because it is hard material, and a hard way to learn. I'm tired of feeling like I am failing all the time, that I am stupid, and not learning anything. I just gnerally feel like a huge failure in life right now, and trying to lose weight isn't helping, because if I don't exercise or eat right it just piles the failure up even more. I would just like to succeed at something, but I feel like it is impossible.

Sigh a bad day

Nov 11 2009 18:34

No exercise today and calories already a bit over maintenance. Sadly I gave in and had candy. I sometimes fear I am addicted to sugar, not good for a diabetic. I have been reading a lot on Diabetics losing weight, the best thing seems to be to stick to low Glycemic index foods so you can cut back on the amount of insulin. I think I need to schedule things and live by the schedule! That will help me more than anything. Next time I go shopping I am going to make low GI purchases, I may also get some jello to help avoid this candy thing. Tomorrow it is back to exercising!!!!

So bad day, but good goals and research!!!

Ok day

Nov 10 2009 16:38

Today I exercised, still haven't gotten into the swing of taking my vitamins. I really hatre taking three huge pills in the morning.Still have dinner to go tonight, but I really want to keep it small, I have definitely eaten more today than yesterdsy, but I was hungrier today. Anyways, onward to school work.

Success Today

Nov 09 2009 22:22

So today has been a good day for me for my health, but bad for school. I got up early and exercised, I stuck to healthy eating all day and the blood sugar was pretty good, only one high because I was stupid and forgot to bolus. I have been trying to study Bacteriology all night, but to no avail. I am hoping this little break will set things in motion. On top of that, pharmacology is also not going great. Sigh, I really just need to focus right now. I want to I just need to make my brain absorb everything.

On another note, I got the confirmation for Africa. That means in May I will be going there for three weeks to study wildlife medicine. That means I have 6 months to get in shape so I can chase down giraffes and go cage diving with sharks. I just have to stay focused and keep exercising and working hard in school!!!

Back for Good!!!

Nov 08 2009 17:11

Starting now with a resolution!!!

I will do this! I will track my food, exerciseand work to lose weight!!!

I will resolve my binge issues and get back to being healthy!!!

I want to be able to wear cute clothes, I want to allow my boyfriend to pick me up and swing me around, I want to quit worrying about how I look, I want to be fit so I can run, climb stairs and exercise!!! I want to go back to China, I want to be healthy, I want to control my diabetes and look good in a wedding dress!!! I want to succeed!!!