cassie_bee's Journal

REALLY struggling
Nov 10 2009 21:07

So, my weight still hasn't moved. In fact, after a week off work I think Ive gained at least a lb-been a bit constipated (sorry!). Im not really sure if this is the result of previous undereating, OR if Ive just eaten a lot this week-I haven't really moved much.

I'm trying to keep a closer eye on my calorie intake but I just find it difficult to accurately weigh everything and not overestimate my activity etc. The whole situation of this massive plateau is also really stressing me out. I was hoping to be 150 by the beginning of December and this morning I'd jumped up to 163. I guess its still possible to reach that by Christmas, IF I can get myself sorted onto a steady eating plan. Im just terrified of gaining. I know how stupid and insignificant this all is, Im technically a healthy weight. Its just incredibly hard for me to try and feel confident about my body at the moment, which reflects in my general attitude.

I know I sound like a whinging child but its just so FRUSTRATING to feel so motivated and then get nothing back. I know everyone goes through this, but my weight has only gone up, I was at 160 for a couple of weeks and haven't managed to lose a single pound throughout the second half of October and so far in November.

I bought an at-home elliptical (my local gym is outrageously expensive) and am going to do 30mins every day I work and 60 on my days off. I really hope this helps, but Im not so sure as I have a pretty active job (waitressing) and that doesn't seem to have helped recently. 

Tomorrow Im going to keep track of every single calorie so I know exactly where I stand. I hope I've simply been overeating-funny that thats now the best case scenario!

Eurgh. Time to stop rambling and moaning and get on with it.