cassie_bee's Journal

159!!!!!!!!!!!

Nov 24 2009 14:36

I DID IT!

FINALLY made it to the 150's after breaking a 5week plateau! yesyesyes!

Bring on the 140's!

REALLY struggling

Nov 10 2009 21:07

So, my weight still hasn't moved. In fact, after a week off work I think Ive gained at least a lb-been a bit constipated (sorry!). Im not really sure if this is the result of previous undereating, OR if Ive just eaten a lot this week-I haven't really moved much.

I'm trying to keep a closer eye on my calorie intake but I just find it difficult to accurately weigh everything and not overestimate my activity etc. The whole situation of this massive plateau is also really stressing me out. I was hoping to be 150 by the beginning of December and this morning I'd jumped up to 163. I guess its still possible to reach that by Christmas, IF I can get myself sorted onto a steady eating plan. Im just terrified of gaining. I know how stupid and insignificant this all is, Im technically a healthy weight. Its just incredibly hard for me to try and feel confident about my body at the moment, which reflects in my general attitude.

I know I sound like a whinging child but its just so FRUSTRATING to feel so motivated and then get nothing back. I know everyone goes through this, but my weight has only gone up, I was at 160 for a couple of weeks and haven't managed to lose a single pound throughout the second half of October and so far in November.

I bought an at-home elliptical (my local gym is outrageously expensive) and am going to do 30mins every day I work and 60 on my days off. I really hope this helps, but Im not so sure as I have a pretty active job (waitressing) and that doesn't seem to have helped recently.

Tomorrow Im going to keep track of every single calorie so I know exactly where I stand. I hope I've simply been overeating-funny that thats now the best case scenario!

Eurgh. Time to stop rambling and moaning and get on with it.

PLATEAU

Oct 27 2009 11:42

eurgh, Im having a bad week. Stuck on an almighty plateau and not really sure how to start losing again. I'm trying to up my calories and I know this sounds stupid, but its REALLY hard psychologically to make yourself eat more when you want to lose weight. I guess its what I need to do though. Although, I have gained a pound in the last few days, so maybe Im eating more than I thought? Its sooo hard.

I'm just going to continue through this week the best i can, then next week I have a week off so I'm going to start jogging and jiggle my calories to deal with that, hopefully I'll get something moving??

I just really want to be at least 150 by the beginning of December, because when I hit that weight Im getting an amazing haircut and thats my friends birthday party so I'll see a load of people I haven't seen in a while and if I DO lose this next 10lbs Ill have lost about 30lbs since the last time I saw them.

And my BMI will be 22.1 which should look pretty good?! AND I'll only be 10lbs from my ultimate goal. I can't wait. If thats not motivating, nothing is. Its just annoying that I can't figure out how to get off this stupid plateau.

If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to comment.

Hopefully Ill have better news to report at the end of the week.

Winter Re-assessment

Oct 20 2009 19:13

So, I was looking through recent journal entries and discovered a theme. I seem to be slowly, but consistently falling back into my old overeating habits.

Today, for instance, I had a day off. It was freezing cold and raining so for lunch I had 2 slices of toast: one with (a lot) of peanut butter and one with philadelphia cheese. I also had my usual packet of salt and vinegar ricecakes. I finished my toast and for some reason decided to swap my ricecakes (90kcal a pack) for a medium bag of sea-salt kettle chips: about 700kcal per pack. Afterwards, my tongue felt furry and swollen from the combined salt of the meal and my stomach ached. I had some fruit and yogurt afterwards, deciding to eat something with fibre in order to 'get things moving later' and I just had a bowl of All-Bran to try and relieve this feeling too. Im now sat drinking hot fruit-squash and am pretty miserable.

I couldn't figure out WHY I started to do this again. I was feeling so happy and really motivated, then for the last few days Ive been properly pigging out. This isn't good, I'm just over halfway to my goal and I REALLY want to make it. All the salt in my belly has made it sooooo swollen and I do not want to go back to that being the reality of my shape. So whats with all the eating?

WINTER.

I'm cold, miserable, not at all motivated to get out on my days off and spending waaaaay too much time in bed. This isn't healthy and probably why my weight loss is grinding to a halt. I also feel pretty flabby. I know theres only one answer to my problem.

I want to lose more weight. I don't want to continue being fat. I thus need to remotivate myself to work out and eat right throughout Winter.

I think a big part of this is going to be making the transition from salads and 'summer' foods to soups and cooked vegetables: healthy food which will also keep me feeling warm and satisfied-not so much of a problem in the summer.

So, Ive recognised the problem and come up with a strategy which I need to now see through. Good luck to myself and Ill check in soon, hopefully with a more positive entry for once.

Maintenance Days

Oct 19 2009 14:45

So, Im having a weird day...I've had a really long week at work and today is my first day off in ages! I've just been feeling really rundown and rubbish so decided to have a maintenance day. So far Ive eaten:

B:All-Bran and semi skimmed milk with a Banana and coffee. Then I went into town and had a tall, light caramel frappucino with no whipped cream. Came home and for lunch I had a chicken, lettuce and salad cream sandwich (with 130 calorie per slice seeded bread which is delicious! What is it with all this 'diet bread' nonsense?!) with snack-a-jacks, then two tablespoons of Peanut Butter, followed by an apple, strawberries and grapes with low fat vanilla yogurt.

For dinner Im planning on having sweet potato, potato, butternut squash, onions, peppers and courgettes roasted in muchos olive oil with a piece of salmon grilled with chinese 5-spice. I probably won't have any dessert because the dinner is usually very satisfying. My problem is that I feel as if I've gone overboard and Im not sure if I have, or whether Im over-reacting because I've been eating 14-1500 calories for the last two months.

I just feel like Ive been doing so well and reeeally don't want to sabotage myself! Yet i understand the importance of maintenance days in preventing plateaus. eurgh, weight loss would be so much easier if I could disassociate my mind from the process and just give my body what it needs to become more healthy.

BUT, it is, as usual, good to get this out through a journal and I think Im going to continue with my day, stop eating now-as I am full and just look forward to my lovely dinner tonight. If I've eaten too much, I've eaten too much. At the most Ive gained half-a-freaking-pound. Its one day and as long as Im back on track tomorrow I can lose this last 20lbs, healthily and gradually. And keep it off too!

(Im also proud that I got a light Starbucks drink and nooooo chocolate, progress!!)

Sabotage

Oct 14 2009 19:46

So, today I FINALLY reached 161lbs, or 11stone 7lbs which means Ive lost 14lbs-a stone. I felt sooo good all day, thin and happy, really feeling like I was headed in the right direction, despite the fact i have just over 20lbs still to go. I did fine with my eating-the usual: bowl of Bran flakes and milk with a banana, a chicken, lettuce and salad cream sandwich with snack-a-jacks, followed by fruits and low-fat yogurt, then a healthy dinner. All good, healthy stuff.

THEN, I had a spoonful of peanut butter, which was fine, because what difference does that make, really? It just unfortunately didn't end there and after dinner I ate two more large tablespoons of Peanut Butter and don't know why...

I wasn't hungry and the salt has now made me feel quite bloated and sick. I'd also eaten more than usual today as it was because of my success this morning so I definitely didn't need all that peanut butter!

I just don't know why I do it to myself? I can go from feeling amazing about my progress to cramming what's essentially pulverized peanuts, butter, sugar and salt into my mouth like im a famine victim?! Its ridiculous and quite frankly disgusting behaviour that I thought Id left behind me.

Im now going to drink 5 cups of water and avoid the kitchen. Tomorrow will have to be a fresh start: I need to forget today and refocus on my ultimate goal. Im also not going to weigh myself for a couple of days, I was hoping I could hit 160 by Friday but guess that isn't going to happen now.

Ah well, let that be a lesson to me. Im also not eating ANY peanut butter till the end of the week or else stuffing tablespoons of PB will become the norm. Im now going to stick to eating it only on toast/in a sandwich as part of a meal and stop thinking of it as a 'snack'. Thats what fruits are for!

Phew. Vent over and tomorrow is a new day.

Jaffa Cakes

Oct 07 2009 20:51

Eurgh.

So, I woke up this morning at 166lbs, having gained 3lbs literally overnight. It was ok though, because mid-morning my period started, which means the bloat should be gone by the end of the week. EXCEPT, my urge for chocolate became uncontrollable tonight and for the first time in a long time I lost control. Consequently, I ate about 12 Jaffa Cakes-around 700 calories on top of my daily allowance. I KNOW its not the end of the world and I simply need to get back onto the wagon and to this end Ive written myself a food plan for tomorrow which includes lots of healthy fats and protein, but limited sugar. I apparently can't control myself around chocolate at ALL at the moment. :-(

Although, despite my plans Im still really worried that Im not going to lose anymore weight and as usual Ill give up and start gaining... I guess it was just a shock seeing that 166 again this morning as I was stuck there FOREVER. I guess its great incentive to not eat anymore junk but I can't stop worrying! I also don't know whether to weigh in before my period is over? The numbers going down might help, but what if they go up again before they go down? I might start eating crap again because Im so frustrated!

Argh! I know this is all really stupid and I need to pull myself together, so im going to stop whinging and instead of concentrating on the numbers Im just going to think about the boots I'm planning on getting when I hit 160 as an incentive to eat healthily. So hopefully by the time I get back on the scales on sunday Ill be at least back to 163, ideally lower...

And Im going to leave those Jaffa cakes ALONE!

23lbs to go!

Oct 06 2009 14:38

Wow, its been a looong time since I journalled!

I've still been on CC though, I'm taking part in a "20lbs by Halloween" challenge, hopefully taking me from 175-155, so far Ive lost 12lbs, putting me at 163, which is awesome progress!

Im not sure Im going to hit the 155 goal, which would require losing 8lbs in 3 and a bit weeks...I'll try, but Im being realistic-for once!

I think after Halloween Im going to continue with the 'challenges': when im being held accountable, albeit by supportive CC users, Im much more likely to stay on track! I'll probably try and lose another 7/8lbs by the end of November, which would put me at about 147, then the rest by Xmas. I actually updated my weight etc in the CC tools section and my progress so far means that I should reach my ultimate goal of 140 by Xmas Eve: if i lose 1.75lbs a week-roughly 7lbs for each of the next three months!

That would be the BEST Xmas present and would definitely motivate me to stick to my plans in the Xmas run-up and then have a big celebration on xmas day-during which Ill definitely make room for a few treats!!

At the moment, I think having a full time job with variable hours is definitely helping, the limited free time means that I'm not eating because Im bored-a HUGE factor in my weight gain.

Anyway, Im going to try and check in a little more regularly, I really do find journalling on here very useful in keeping myself on track and identifying any potential stresses-leading to bad eating patterns!

23lbs to go!

update

Aug 29 2009 21:01

Everything seems to be going well soon, Ive lost 2lbs since Monday and am planning to weigh myself tomorrow (sunday) so I can record my loss for the week. Although, as my diet has all been uber-healthy this week, tonight I had a (large) serving of stewed apples with oat-crumble. Which was delicious. Its more than I normally eat however, so that might show on the scales tomorrow... :-S

But generally, Im doing good, weighing every two days and doing a total loss for the week based on my Monday and Sunday weigh-ins. Now I've got over the initial hump of eating healthily, the hard part starts, consistently eating healthily. Thats where I usually slip up... I think, however, that I've hit such an extreme rock bottom, that my motivation should keep me on the straight and narrow a while yet.

Organisation

Aug 27 2009 10:39

Sooooo, I think its been going quite well the last few days in terms of eating healthy, sensible amounts of food. However, Im STILL a bit worried Im not eating enough. I think tomorrow Im going to have to track EXACTLY what Im eating in order to check. I guess going from 2500+ to 1400 would leave me feeling deprived initially, but it can't hurt to check!

I also need to get my fat arse back into the gym, Im gonna go tomorrow morning because Im not working until six, then I have Saturday off and Im not working till 5 on Sunday. Thats three straight days, then Ill have to get next weeks hours and start planning that. It'll all be fine if I plan everything in advance! Unfortunately my gym membership is also running out and Im debating whether to renew it. I initially got a two-month deal for £79, so I guess if they still have the offer then Ill get another couple of moths. Its two entire days of work for me at the moment so its definitely an incentive to go work out! And getting closer to Winter it'll make sure I keep exercising and don't hibernate!

Anyway, better go get ready for work, Im dreading it, I have the meanest boss in the entire world who appears to have taken a massive dislike to me. Im reeeeeally struggling to keep being polite to her-and keep my temper in check when she attacks/ignores me for no reason! Why are there people like this in the world?!