cc1170's Journal

I was down to 126.2 yesterday and back up to 128.2 today. I hope this is just water retention. I caved and ate cold pizza last nite. I was hungry and tempatation took over. I had a rough afternoon and it showed. Jordan was being her usual self after transition and Mr. Z was giving me the cold shoulder and I had no idea why. Of course I gave in to him and wound up being the passive one I always am with him because I am afraid to lose him. Don't know why, I don't have him now. I just need him for the boost of having someone. I seriously need some friends...I am soooo lonely here.

I am so ready to get back to school and have something that is all mine again, even if it is stressful. At least I am using my brain there and can be proud of what I do. Here I just struggle to keep up and don't even know what to do with myself or the girls most of the time. Usually I just want to escape and am using food to do that. Today will be a long Saturday. I am thinking of going to the amusement park just so we don't have to sit around here all day and be bored. These girls won't play by themselves or go outside unless i force them. It makes me crazy. My parents never did that for me.

Well I am going to go exercise now. I will check in later.

Take care of yourself...you are worth it!