cellotlhicks's Journal

Do not despise the day of small beginnings...
Jul 05 2009 14:09

I can't get those words out of my head.

I'm not anxious to get small anymore. I mean, I still want to. I can.  I will. And I must do it.

But I am also having so much fun in the process. I get so excited when I put on pants that are already smaller just after two weeks, that I don't have time to go looking for people to affirm me, or making my boyfriend want to roll his eyes every ten seconds by me asking him if I am fat. Trying to learn more info takes up my extra time. All a complaint is is a problem with no solution. I like looking for solutions.

It felt so good today, going to Chili's and ordering the best thing from the Guiltless Grill menu. Eating it slowly and enjoying it. I was the only peroson in there who asked for the calorie info. They printed one out for me/ It was so easy to do, and I just looked around at what other people were eating. Looking at the menu, I estimated that some of the plates around me had about 1000 cals just from the appetizer, and over 2000 calories in the entry. Scary. And some people honestly think they are doing better for their family by going to a resturaunt rather than fast food....I guess in some ways maybe, but there were some items w/ over 4000 grams of sodium! That should be illegal. I thought about what I had ordered just a year ago.....

So I am not small yet, but I am so excited about how much more self control I have now. I was so excited that I truly enjoyed what I ate (the grilled tilapia with pico, some rice and fresh vegetables, w/o the cheese) the fish was 200 cals, with 2 grams sat fat (4 total) 34 grams protein, 5 grams of fiber and less salt than anything else on the healthy menu. I wasn't even jealous of my bf's dish, becuase I was focused on what I had.

The best part was that I only had 450 or so cals total, so the rest of my day won't feel like bondage, especially since I had a healthy breakfast. And it was good.

I'm going to focus on what I've been given...Whether it is an apple shape, pear shape, small breasts, skinny legs, etc, we only get one life to live and one body to use when we live it. I have no deisre to look like the person next to me anymore.

And I will not despise the day of small beginnings. I'm going to be grateful for every step I take.