cellotlhicks's Friends

I worked out on my airbike last night for an hour.  I ate out at Ryan's "all you can eat" for lunch so I did double time on the bike than normal.  The calorie meter said I burned 1,255 calories.  I do not know if that is accurate but it sounded good to me!!!   I ate steak, chicken, butter beans, salad w/ranch  and ice cream so  I was truly delighted to see the scales down one pound this morning after eating a meal like that. 

By the way I don't know why I'm not riding outdoors, the temp. today was high of 75.  That's not even normal for south Alabama this time of year !!!

It's been awhile since I was here . . . and it shows. I've gained at least 6 lbs. Not a good thing to start off the winter season . . . Okay, time to get serious again. I can do it!

My sister who gave me that one final push off the ledge to get me on the track to lose weight had a beautiful baby girl a few days ago.

I wanna say congratulations to my sister and her husband!

:)

PS: Don't tell her I put her picture on here. :D

Called at 5pm and they said she was alert and ready to come home.  We only live about 5 minutes from there so we were home by 5:20. 

I felt sorry for the young techinician that brought her out because she drugged her down the hallway on three legs. Boy, she is a strong dog.  And the first person she came to was me, of course DH, pointed out that the door to leave was right behind me. LOL>>>>  The surgical nurse told me that when she took her outside all she was doing was going to vehicles to try to get in.  The hay, with going to the bathroom.

Anyhow, we are tickled that she is home. Right now she is fast asleep on a pillow with her leg propped up.  Thanks you all for being there for my lows when I needed lifted up because of sadness, prayers during her time of surgery, and the love you have showed by caring enough to read my follow up journals. 

Take care and GOD BLESS each of you with health, safety and financial freedom

We have some $ in savings, finally. More importantly, we both have jobs, and we have health insurance.

the time is right. (in my mind, it has been right since the wedding but w/e)

January 1. I'm quitting drinking, quitting caffiene again, and starting to chart.

Charting my BBT, finding out when I ovulate, and gettin me some.

Hubby is going to take his vitamins if I have to throw them down his throat and hold his mouth shut til he swallows, ha.

He is cutting back on caffiene and liquor. He is not going to make any more drain babies for a while. He is gonna keep his hands off himself!

This is the year, I claim it, I stake it. We aren't just not using birth control. We aren't half-assed just "doing it more often".  He isn't trying just to make me happy, he really wants it too (last time we try-tried, he didn't keep his hands off even though he told me he would, and I have 80% forgiven him. How do I 100% forgive that? Especially if.. ).. NO. No if. No especially ifs.

This is the time.

I have my doctor's check up appointment next week. I'll find out then if I still have an option. My fear is that I don't but my fears have rarely been well-founded. Seven years of half-assed trying and simply not using BC isn't really trying, is it?? A lot of that time has been spent trying to get a job, trying to get health insurance, trying not to lose the house. But it does make the mind create things. Things to make it all make sense. How 2 weeks off BC worked the first time, and 10 years off still hasn't worked the second time.

But combined, it will. It all comes together this year. Circumstance, effort, cooperation.

so it is written, so shall it be. In accordance with the prophecy.

....is to be good this week.  I've got another doozy of a weekend coming up, seriously I will be booked all weekend and I can't let december turn into a fat fest.  So to be able to have fun all weekend here is my weekly plan:

1. workout 5 days min- try to get the 350 mins in!! Last week I did 4. (Tues, Wed, Fri, Sat)

2. No cookies/sweets until Friday's cookie swap (ignoring the 2 oatmeal craisin cookies I had in lieu of my breakfast today...)

3. No booze during the week- except Thursday but ONLY if I go to the gym in the morning :p

Workout schedule:

Monday- abs class (30 min) and spinning

Tuesday- Total Body Conditioning (that crazy boot-campish class I did two wks ago)

Wednesday- spinning

Thursday- whatever my ass can pull off @ 6:30 AM

Friday- Spinning and free arm exercises for 15-20 mins

Saturday- arc trainer for 30 mins, ab workout for 15-20 mins

Sunday- off?

I put Blah instead of Bah because that's how I feel...BLAH

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. However; it's harder for me to get in the Christmas Spirit this year. Even my Holiday Cartoons aren't working (A Charlie Brown Christmas, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph etc.)...

1. Maybe it's the constant cold and rain that we have been getting here in SC.
2. Maybe it’s the fact that my TV died back in October and I still don’t have the money to get a new one or get the old one fixed.
3. Maybe it's the fact that I hate my job (I get to cover for a few fulltime team members while they take vacation time while I have no vacation time to take as I'm a contractor).
4. Maybe it's the fact that I really don't want to be around my family this year for the holidays.
5. Maybe it's the fact that I have no plans for New Year's Eve.
6. Maybe it’s because I spent the last 2 weeks staying up until 2-4:30 AM job hunting online and am still waiting to hear back on those that I applied for.

Whatever it is; I really need to snatch myself back because I feel like I'm sitting on the edge of an abyss of despair. I'm supposed to be happy where I am regardless of what's going on around me. So let me count my blessings…

1. My family is safe and well provided for,
2. I have a roof over my head,
3. I have clothes on my back,
4. I have shoes on my feet,
5. I have a vehicle that runs and does not give me problems,
6. My bills are paid even if it's 10-20 days late (nothing is past due),
7. I'm building my credit score back up,
8. I'm back in contact with old friends,
9. Even though I am not working out like I should, I have not experienced any significant weight gain

So I will try to be grateful for the small things while doing everything possible to bring about big changes…

Why must I be so emotional during and before my totm? My Fiance jumped at the chance to work some extra hours today and I swear it's because he wanted to get away from me. lol I've been just crabby with everyone and I can barely even stand myself. So to make matters worse - I got on the scale this morning and was up 4 lbs. WTF??? Could I seriously be retaining that much water?

I was waiting to start my exercise stuff til this week but I don't know if I want to do that now. The reason I waited is because I didn't want to add too much change all at one time. Eating healthier, cooking at home, starting to exercise.. It would have been way too overwhelming for me to do all at once and I would have just given up.

The depression has been pretty bad this past week as well. I did get myself to go to church on saturday evening and I felt good afterwards. Was getting a little anxious at the end, but I made it through the entire 1.5 hours, came home and had a pretty decent night. It was nice to see some familar faces and even Pastor Shari came and gave me a hug and told me it was nice to see me. That was refreshing.

Today I will wrap Christmas presents, finish up the laundry, do some crocheting, and make dinner. Doesn't seem like alot but some days I can barely get out of bed. Grr! I hate feeling like that.. So dang pathetic!

Oh yes it is Monday and I will NOT give into temptation.  I am going to start working out as soon as I get home.  Actually a friend mentioned something great...some bathroom jumping jacks...I think I might just start those!  :)  No food tastes as good as being thin! And with that in mind...nothing tastes as good as being healthy!!  My kids will thank me. 

I can do this...and I WILL.  I think the key to help me not binge is exercise.  As much as I don't want to...it is the best thing for me!  It will give me the energy that I keep complaining I don't have.  Everytime I think about eating something that I DO NOT need....I will jump on that treadmill and walk it out!!

What a great weekend, topped off by the fact that I finally lost 1.4lbs that I had gained back on the roadtrip to Bourbonnais! 

Saturday started off with Choir practice for church. Somehow, I ended up with a solo in next Sunday's Christmas Special thingie.  I was kind of volunteered for that.  Now don't get me wrong, I love singing, in fact I was a Vocal Music major for a time in college , but its been years since I've sang in public.  I'm the guitar player lol!  Because of this lack of practice, I've lost a bit of my range and vocal control.  To make matters worse, when I'm nervous, my vibratto goes crazy.  Think Dolly Parton meets Judy Garland LOL!  Alright, I might be exagerating, but you get the idea.  I'll manage somehow.

So the solo just adds more craziness to my schedule.  This last Sunday, Josh and I played another guitar duet...this time it was Silent Night.  Next Sunday, I'm playing guitar as usual, also singing with the Choir and then the solo.  Christmas eve, I'm playing piano for the service, doing the piano accompniment for a soloist, and then possibly playing an oboe solo.  My parents will be at that service...no pressure!

Anyways, after Choir practice, we went to Josh's company Christmas Party at The Cheesecake Factory.  This was a potential diet disaster but I think I did pretty darned good if I do say so myself.  Josh's boss ordered a couple of big appetizer samplers.  They were delicious, I tried to stay away from the fried stuff, but I did have a couple of bites from Josh's plate.  For my entree,  I ordered the Pear and Endive Salad.  It was really good.  I couldn't finish it, it was so huge.  I like that they bring you the low-cal dressing on the side, so I knew exactly how much I was getting.  For dessert, I split a slice of Tiramisu with Josh.  I won't tell you how good it was, cuz I know y'all can just imagine. 

After dinner, we went to Josh's boss's house for a White Elephant gift exchange.  Now this isn't a true White Elephant exchange because about half the gifts are really nice, and the other half are joke gifts. The most creative gift of the night was a goldfish bowl that included a bag with 2 goldfish in it!  I ended up with some really cool scrapboking supplies which was my favorite of all the gifts.  Part of it was a kit with all the things included for a little 10 page mini-scrapbook.  I've decided to use it to show my weight loss progress in photos.  I've already got the front cover decorated.  There's a golden dragon and it says "My Weight Loss Journey: Dreams inspire Hope" and then my initials HKP. I've got one picture in there at my starting weight, and I've figured that if I take a photo once ever -6lbs, there will be enough to fill each page, with the last page being my goal weight.  I can use these 6lb incriments as mini-goals which means, guess what?  I'm .2lbs away from my first mini-goal.  I really think that this sort of visual tracking of my progress will really help me stay on track for the long haul.  I'm excited!

Sunday was our church Children's Musical which was adorable.  It was probably one of the best that we've had (that I can remember) and it had a great message.  It was all about "The Church Has Left the Building."  After the musical, the kids unveiled a new sign with that phrase on it that everyone will see as they are literally leaving the building.  It was pretty neat and I'm glad that our church is going in that direction which I think is really fundamental to Christ's teachings, even if it hasn't been the focus of the Church (on the global level) for the last few years.

Josh and I also played our duet, which was really fun.  I love that I married my soul-mate, and that I will get to make music with him for the rest of my life. 

After church, I realized that I was really REALLY tired.  I had definitely not had enough sleep throughout this week...less than three hours on Fri and Sat night. I layed down for a Sunday afternoon nap.  Well, that "Nap" ended up being from 1pm Sunday to 6:30am Monday.  I guess I really needed that nap!  I woke up to discover that I had lost 1.4 lbs since Friday, so I'm guessing one of the reasons that I couldn't lose it during the week was my lack of sleep.  You really can sabotage all your weight loss efforst by not allowing your body the sleep that it needs!

Though I felt great after the long winter's nap (hehe), I was plagued with some crazy and terrifying nightmares.  I dreampt that the human-alien hybrid from Aliens 4  was chasing me through an old movie theatre.  Ugh...  I hate nightmares.  My dreams tend to be extremely detailed and realistic so the bad ones are particular disturbing.  I think that its just further proof that I needed that sleep really bad.

Its very cold and soggy out today, but I need to walk down to the grocery store for toilet paper.  Now there's something that you DON'T want to run out of lol.  Tonight, our church friend Malika is making Shish Kabobs for us!  She's from Morocco, so i'm super excited.  Going to try to eat a satisfying, but low-calories lunch so that I can really enjoy dinner without having to worry.  I'm thinking about making our last Tilapia filet, and some roasted veggies.  Tomorrow is payday...and that means.....CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!! FINALLY!  Then we can start Christmas shopping, and grocery shopping (our cupboard is very bare).

One last thing (I know this is a really long post already, but I need to vent).