courtneyappel's Journal

My story
Nov 06 2009 20:14

I know that much of "my" story, the life I've lived thus far, has many answers as to why I'm 200 pounds right now.  In an attempt to change, I need to learn how and why I've gotten here.  I will be using my journal to tell my story.  This journal is not for the purpose of anyone else or their interest, but for me and my success.  If you are reading any of this, please keep that in mind.

I have struggled with my weight as long as I can remember.  I was given a small frame with a very sluggish metabolism.  My mom struggled with her weight in the same manner.  My dad comes from a long line of heart disease and weight issues. As a child, my dad was an avid runner.  He ran 10ks and 25ks.  I still can conjure up the way he smelled after a long run as he came back into the home.  My parents didn't have a great relationship.  We lived in a small town, the same town they grew up in.  They returned to that town after college to begin their careers.  My mom was a teacher and my dad was the principle and also her boss.  We rarely ate at home.  My version of a home cooked meal was asking to go to my grandma's house instead of to Grand Rapids every night.  Grand Rapids was 25 minutes from where we lived and my parents escaped there 90% of the week.  In our town, my dad was a celebrity.  We could never have our privacy in public.  So, we left, every night that my dad didn't have a meeting.  My mom overcompensated and ate a very poor diet.  As my dad ran as an escape from his life, my mom ate.  One rule was heavy in our home however, NO RED MEAT.  My grandmas would sneak me some when my parents weren't around, but for the most part, I really didn't eat any.  Unfortunately, I don't remember many meals in my home, but I do remember all of the restaurants that were popular with our family.  Arnie's, Chi-Chi's, Friday's, local golf course restaurants during summer.  My parents loved to golf.  Here are my realizations for today, just as I learned a morphed serving size because of the restaurants in charge of feeding me, I learned that the only way to golf was with a cart.