distracted's Journal

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Past the second star on the right and straight on until midnight
Apr 17 2007 07:56

I took the night off from the gym last night and I ate like a horse - a horse with a tapeworm. I'm not counting calories today because I'm going out on a business lunch and I really don't want to bother with trying to put togther all the components of my meal and then logging it. Since I was already not logging today, I didn't even measure out my breakfast. Yeah, I'm a madman.

But today I will be going to the gym, unlike my peanut buttery night last night. I'll be pounding on my back, shoulders, neck, abs. All this excess food that I'm eating is going to be put to good use.

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And on another topic, my pants are starting to fit more tightly. Either that or they just went back down to normal size because I just washed them and I had been wearing them for two weeks straight without washing them, thus stretching them out.

I'm not sure which one it is.

Either way I feel gains - or my stomach is just more full.

Anyways, I did all but one load of my laundry last night. Next time it gets that backed up, I'm just going to buy new clothes.

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The Lightning won last night. 2-1 series lead over Jersey. Nice.

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My mind goes back and forth so much with this whole calorie counting/weight gain/cut phase thing. I've never gone through a cut phase other than when I dropped from 180 to 135. Sitting at a hair under 160 (I weighed myself recently and I am finally gaining again), I'm noticing that my abs are looking more covered in fat as they are not as defined. This makes me want to go through a cut phase which takes months to do properly. On the other hand I don't feel that I've compiled enough muscle gain through the rest of my body to do it. When you cut, some muscle is going to be lost.

So I'm sitting here wanting to cut, knowing that I shouldn't, but it's all vanity bullshit. Forgive the language. I just don't understand what happened to me to make this such an issue... or when. When I started this health kick a few years back, I never would have imagined myself here - thinking about something as vein as definition.

I just wanted to drop a couple pounds and call it quits. Heh - didn't know that this was going to turn into a life long thing with me...

Rambling. Sorry.

End. Have a good day everyone. I don't know what I've got going on at work other than lunch. Nice.

Replies

1. tgbrown
Apr 17 2007 16:44

I'm glad I'm not the only one who slacked last night! Getting back to normal today though, I hope!

2. normajeanbaker
Apr 17 2007 17:12

I totally understand and of course can relate. I look back and wonder how I got here... How I can't not think about my weight. I can remember going days without even having a fleeting thought about it, wow!

I think not counting calories from time to time is good! Challenge yourself to not give in to wanting to cut, I know you can do it! It is hard but whenever I feel myself "regressing" I try to challenge myself to move forward in some way...

great job!

: )

3. distracted
Apr 17 2007 18:50

Thanks! =]

Yeah, I fondly remember the days prior to weight becoming an issue... but I guess that's how it became an issue, though.

Today at lunch I ate enough to have a huge gain. We went for Japanese. I had 2.5 rolls of sushi (some fried and some loaded with mayo), a boat load of veggies, two breasts of chicken, shrimp, some breaded, fried sushi thingy, and miso soup.

My tummy hurts. =p

I don't think I'm going to be able to eat again until dinner. I have apples just in case I need food before hand. In either case, I think I've already hit well above 2,000 calories for the day (I had 900 between breakfast and my mid-morning snack) and I'm planning on dinner and a post dinner, dinner both at around 400 calories. I should hit close to 3,000 at worst. At best I'll hit 3,500. =]

4. hansenn
Apr 17 2007 22:55

haha i can totally relate to the laundry thing- i did three loads last night and i have at least two more still! YUCK! but it's for two people, so i guess it's not toooo bad.

and i think a lot of us have a hard time balancing healthy vs. unhealthy calorie counting and exercise... i don't think you're too vein though... i think a lot of it can be attributed to the fact that you simply know more than you did before. if you would have said to yourself 'i want to go thru a cut phase to get rid of this extra layer on my tummy, then go back to muscle building' a few years ago, you probably wouldn't have had nearly as much info. to actually do it. but now you do! so, i think it's natural for you to think about it more.

ok. now i'm rambling... have a great night! and thanks for the encouragement in my journal today :) i'm glad you realize you are a member of the crazy species :)

5. plankcm
Apr 18 2007 01:15

Well, with all your eating...especially the stuff at the sushi place...are you sure it just isn't water weight? Sometimes my stomach feel squishy, and then the next day it's gone. I mean, miso soup alone would make me gain water. I guess I don't get what the whole cut phase is, which may make me understand your situation more. Maybe if you cut out the alcohol that you've been having lately it would help....?

6. distracted
Apr 18 2007 21:00

The cut phase... well, first the gain...

To gain muscle you must gain fat. Even inside the muscle fat is stored. So let me first say that I'm plumping up as a goal. The gain phase is where I'm supposed to be able to take in between 3,500-5,000 calories and not feel bad.

The cut phase is where I would essentially cut out ALL of these hypercaloric days and drop to hypocaloric days, every day. I would stop trying to gain muscle and would instead focus on keeping what muscle I have gained while cutting the fat via a 7-day-a-week, hour long cardio sessions on the elliptical. This is what I'm good at and where I have had success, not in the gain phase. So essentially I would be cutting my body fat to... I dunno... between 5-7% from the 10% or less than I'm sitting at now. They say if you can see your abdominal muscles that you are under 10% - that's where I'm getting that number from. I can see my abs still, although it seems like less and less. I'm just surprised the difference that a couple percent can make.

Yeah, I'm sure that I retained some water from the sushi place and from drinking over the weekend. Today I went off and didn't count calories and I just ate until I was plesantly full, not painfully full like I have to do during the gain phase. It was a nice change of pace. Eating until it's painful does not make eating fun at all.

anyways, my mind is teeter-tottering back and forth over this. It's almost the summer (when most body builders go into their cut phase) and I'm debating saying "screw it" and just going on a cut despite not reaching my goal weight beacuse I don't want to get off cycle, I can see the results when I cut, and it's what I've proven to be good at. So it's kind of two pronged. I feel good about myself because I'll get better results than I'm getting now (mentally better for me) and I won't feel as self-conscious about taking my shirt off at the beach or whatever (and the physical).

Again, it's all quite vein and for that, I'm sorry. I really don't mean to sound like I'm whining. I'm just trying to figure out what my next move is.

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