drop40's Journal

The DREADMILL.
Dec 03 2008 20:33

I have to get on that machine in 10 minutes. What I would really rather do right now is eat a bag of dorritos the super cheesy kind and Hershey's sundae pie from Burger King. A few slices... washed down with onion rings and a whopper jr and regular coke. I would love that. mmm. But no. Today I didn't have that. I had a pretty large greek salad from a restaurant. I ordered dressing on the side and hope that helped but who really knows. When the breadsticks came all delicious and garlic-y I turned them away. I drank water and a diet pepsi, but only one diet because I'll just crave real pop if I don't stop. And then I ended up having a granola bar at 120 calories. The only problem is I have no clue how many cals there were in that stupid very large salad. Honestly it was the best thing on the menu. Everything else was fried or breaded or marinated in butter and lard I'm sure. But I'm still so hungry. I don't know what to think. Oh and I had a 1/2 cup of sugar free apple sauce... at 50 cals. I need to get on that torture device because the GOOD NEWS IS I WEIGHED IN AT 159 TODAY! Finally. I've been trying so hard and now I hope all of my hard work doesn't go up in flames over what was supposed to be a healthy meal... that I spread throughout the day. I also went shopping and tried on jeans to get an idea of where I am and where I can be by the month's end and I was happy to fit into an 8... they were se7ens and I was pretty happy to be out of a 10. I remember 3 years ago trying on the same brand in a plus size 16 and they wouldn't budge past my hips. These were fine from hip to zip! I did have a slight muffin top, but that can be lost in 2 weeks. I'd love to be a 6 when I go to Chicago. I don't know if I can make it but I'm sure going to try. I hope I didn't set myself back today. x my fingers! Anyhow I'm determined and now I'm going to do what I have to do today so I can be happier by tomorrow... or the next day.

That's all for now. Just wanted to fight what I have to do for a minute.

Love M

Don't get mad, get even.
Nov 26 2008 13:06

I gained a 1/2 lb back. I counted all of my calories and stayed between 12-1300. I've been reaching my fitness goals everyday. 2 20 minute miles and 1 15 minute mile and I threw in 50 crunches last night for good measure. Last night I just had this awful feeling like I wasn't going to lose today. I hate that feeling. I know I can't lose a lb a day forever... but I liked it. And even if I stayed at 161 it would have been better than weighing 161.5. This may sound trivial but I've been working really hard and decided not to blow it Tomorrow on Thanksgiving... and now I feel like I'm behind. I want to be out of the 160's so bad!!!!

I've decided to use this setback to fuel me. I'm going to go the extra mile. Literally. Instead of 3 miles today I'm going to do 4. No excuses. Just results. The last thing I want to feel is disappointed. So if I really do everything I can, then there will be no room for error. No slip ups, no mistakes. And for goodness sakes can food commercials please stop playing!!!!!! Ugh.

I'm going for my revenge jog now. Revenge on my ass.

Love Megan

Goodbye 5lbs!
Nov 25 2008 11:34

Five lbs down. A buttload to go... literally. It felt great today to wake up and be 161. Especially because I know I'm doing it right. But then there are some things that still make me nervous, I don't want to become too comfortable. That's when I let myself slip. I make excuses and rationalize extra calories or fast food. I need to realize that I'm NOT done yet. I'm not ready to start slacking on this. I'm not ready to give up on myself. I don't want to let old habits come back... lose 10 pounds, maintain for 2 months, lose 5 pounds... same... I feel so bad every time that happens. So while I am happy to take off that weight, I have to stay focused. I have to be held accountable, whether I do it or someone else keeps me on track.I'm not worried about this week. I'm worried about next week. I'm worried about staying on after 10 lbs. I need to stay motivated.

Wish me luck!

Good morning Monday!
Nov 24 2008 11:11

I woke up early today and didn't weigh what I wanted. So I drank my coffee and crabbed to myself about it and decided to wait and hour or so and do it again... obsessing clearly helps you lose water weight. Hello 162.5. I've made a deal with myself that once I'm 149 I'm getting my extensions put back in. It will make me clear that 150 mark. Heck it'll probably be a pound of hair! haha. I feel good. in 3 lbs I'll be in the 150's again and I haven't seen those in YEARS... at 24 I shouldn't have to say that unless I'm on the other side of 150. I'll get there and I can't wait. I'm finally starting to get excited about losing. I'm starting to see that I can make progress and I can break out of the 160's. I don't have to let myself get used to this, I don't have to be happy to be a size 10. Size 8 here I come. Then 6 then 4... what does a size 4 usually weigh? I don't think going below that is necessary for me, but I'll see where I end up. and it"s  Monday so here are my stats and goals for the week!

SW 166.0
CW 162.5

MGW (Monday goal weight) 159.0

FGW (Final goal weight) 120

My fitness goal for the week is continue my 15 minute mile with the 20 minute mile, and add another 20 minute mile. 3 Miles a day for one week... I can do this.

So good luck to everyone with their goals this week and don't stress over Thanksgiving dinner. I'm going to be 100% good until Thursday and on Thursday morning I'm going to work in fitness as usual so I don't feel bad about eating some good food later. And no left overs :) Because I don't want to lose 3 lbs just to gain it back.

I didn't want to. Really.
Nov 23 2008 23:30

But I made myself jog... and I really did hate all 40 minutes of it. But I did it. And it's okay if I hated it... because that was then and everything that I don't want to do that is ahead of me, will ultimately be a part of something behind me. The time would have passed me by anyways... I mean I'm hear typing this now... so think about it... The next time you really don't want to do something... get up and do it. Really stop thinking and dreading and wishing you didn't have to, because instead of thinking and wishing, you could be half way finished with your run, or whichever activity you hate to do.

Don't forget

Now is the new later.

Love Megan

I think I'm ready for Thanksgiving dinner.
Nov 22 2008 22:56

Really. And not from a conquer it diet kind of standpoint either. More of a conquer it because I want to kill something huge and eat it because I'm on my period. I've also noticed that before I start, people become horrible drivers. I mean just awful. My gift was dropped off this afternoon and this morning while I was on the road no drivers were aware that for at least the last forty years cars have been CUSTOM made with turning indicators. Now I know this is a tough thing, a lot of people get caught up with their very important phone calls or touching up the spackle on their faces... and can't think to possibly DRIVE while they are driving... but shoot... don't cut me off!!!

I could care less if you drove backwards with your eyes closed... just use your signals... and do it on the correct side of the road.

Please!

So it comes down to me being irritable, and then hungry, then irritable because I'm hungry and watching the jerk who just cut me off, pull out a Big Mac and devour it.

Please, insert Thanksgiving dinner here. My mouth. Just want something cranberry-y, Turkey-y, potato-y, corn bread-y, and gravy-y, right now. Screw desert... I don't have time for child's play... I want food.

Now that I've given a clear example of why I'm 165 lbs...

you can feel free to comment this.

Love hungry, crabby, Megan

yeah I like chicken.
Nov 21 2008 19:54

I'm probably the last person on the planet who should be allowed to cook. First I'm obsessed with food. Seriously obsessed. If I make anything I sample the whole time so once it's finally ready I'm not hungry anymore... Second I know nothing about cooking and I eat like a frat boy. From the ages of 19-22 I got used to the term "blackened" because if I made it, that's what it was. That is just a fancy word for burnt right? Clearly I'm going to make some man very unhappy someday. So I make chicken... a lot. I get boneless skinless frozen chicken breasts and I put them in a pot filled with water and boil it... until they are cooked through. I have no clue what cooking term that is but they come out tender and never dry so I like 'em. I just dip in mustard because I'm a mustard fanatic. I don't have a dishwasher so I try to use as little dishware as I can because I totally hate doing dishes... again I'll never get married unless he has a cook and a dishwasher. But I love my toaster oven. I make what I like to call Meg Mcmuffins. I get a whole grain english muffin, one thin slice of lean turkey, which is around 8 cals for one slice, 130 for the muffin, 1 egg large is 80 cals, medium is 70, and either a slice of pepperjack cheese 60 cals or 3 cheese blend 70 cals ... I toast the muffin, put the egg in a small dish, usually a sauce cup bc it is the perfect size and shape once cooked, put that in the microwave for about 25 seconds, flip it in the cup and nuke for another 15-20 seconds, let egg cool go back to toaster oven put cheese on one muffin half and turkey on the other, let melt... take it out put on the egg and serve! WA LA! That is how you spell that in english not french.

It is a very delicious and filling breakfast sammich. I like the taste better than fast food breakfast which says a lot. And I don't go into a food coma after eating it. So I'm not a chef but I like easy foods and that is five minutes tops.

I also love steamed carrots, asparagus, broccoli, cauliflower etc... but my all time favorite food would be a sweet potato. I like them baked no butter no schmutz. Lucky for me I'm not a huge butter fan so there is one thing on my side! Also for flavor I love just adding garlic. It's better than salt and more tasty in my opinion.

So those are my fave and maybe I'll list downfalls on another day... but not now.

XX Megan