duke3522's Journal
What To Do About DadOct 15 2009 12:40
Around here, over the last couple of weeks, the weather has been very tough on knees, hips, etc. I hurt, my sister hurts, everyone hurts. You know, that cold, wet weather with a breeze that cuts like a knife.
And, of course, dad has been hurting too. But his response is simply to give up. Like last nite, he was trying to clean up his extension seat on the john. Then I guess one of his knees gave out. But Rick got into the bathroom in time to gently lower him to the floor. So he's not hurt, just really upset.
Then, when I get down stairs, Rick and I pick him up to get him on his walker, but he simply refused to straighten out his legs to even try and stand. So we got a stool, picked him up, and set him up. Then we turn the stool to where we could pick him up and put him in the wheelchair. Then we take him to his bedroom, and Rick and I go to pick him up to put him in the bed. And as we are lifting him, he gets a death grip on the arms of the wheelchair. While yelling at us how he can't get any higher.
So we sat him back in the wheelchair and told him not to grab hold of the chair. He then rants on about how he didn't have a hold of the chair. So I made him fold his arms, and we were able to get him in the bed.
I guess my main problem is that he seems to have given up. And in giving up he seems to be going out of his way to make things more difficult. I have him working out 3 times a week. And it seems to me he has plenty of strength. I just don't think he has had much experience with pain, and it's freaking him out.
So I told him last night that he needs to take his pain med on a regular basis. His response was to tell me he can't live the rest of his life taking pain meds. I told him that was BS, and that I couldn't do nothing without the pain meds.
So I'm not sure what to do. Someone needs to walk with him for awhile, and keep him working out. But if he decideds he isn't gonna walk anymore, what can I do but take him to the ER. Just not sure what's gonna happen. He goes into a nursing home, I got big problems. But if he's not gonna walk, that's where he has to go.
I know damn well he has it in him to get back on his feet. Up to him and what he wants.
Know one thing. I'm gonna take the bouncer job that's been offered to me several times. Part of the agreement is that I get a shot a bar tending down the road. Hate bouncing again, but I can't turn the money down.
It comes to this, if dad goes into a home I am going to have a tougher time getting things going. But I am going to give it my best shot no matter what happens.
Time to keep on keeping on!!
Duke of Indiana
Is there any way you can get a physical therapist out to your Dad? You, as the son, may be too emotionally close to him- he knows how to push your buttons. An outsider might get more done. You have a hard road. Take time for you. |
Poet makes a great point. |
My father in law lived with us for about 3 years but his dementia got to be so bad we couldn't handle him anymore and he couldn't / wouldn't do thinks for himself so it was a nursing home for him. He was starting to forget how to walk and was getting lost in our house. Its sad that it had to be done, but it was best for everyone. Because he had hardly any money he qualified for state medicaid and basically his social security check went to the home he got $90 a month for "personal" expenses and the rest of the nursing home bill was paid by the state. I think we did have to "spend down" his savings so the first few months were paid by him. If your dad has any $ start getting it transferred now. OUr state went back a few months into his finances, but we were able to do things like pay for his funeral and stuff so he'd qualify for assistance. Wishing the very best for you and your family. And good luck on that job. |
Definitely time to look into a living trust if one doesn't already exist. I think you're doing as good a job as you can with your dad. Does he have a reaction to the pain meds? Perhaps they're making him woozy and he's not telling you about it? Maybe some of the elephant advil would work instead if taken with some food. I know on exercise that sometimes I take advil before as a precaution to prevent further injury or pain, it works really well about 30 minutes before with a small snack for energy. |
My mother qualifies for a home health aide paid for by medicare because she is legally blind, but she won't allow them in the house because they are not good enough and she doesn't want to be around strangers. It's really frustrating when somebody fights you every step of the way. She could have help bathing, dressing, and lots of other little things. The aide could also run errands. Does your county have a department of aging? If there is one and if you haven't already call them. Knowing you and how resourceful you are, you've probably done that.
|
How often should you eat during the day?
It is neither necessary to eat every two hours nor to stop eating at 6:00 PM. As long as your calorie intake is less than your output... Read more
