eerica's Journal

i never realized until now..
Nov 04 2009 06:57

..how much i HATE plateaus. i've weighed like 132 for sooo long now and i'm tired of it. my eating disorder is still in my head a little, and i feel horrible about myself for not losing weight everyday, and i feel like i can see my body becoming fatter every day. i'm down 1 pant size, and i'm in the healthy weight range, but i still see myself as a fat whale. my head keeps telling me to just not eat for a day or two to break the plateau, ugh.

let's start over.
Oct 23 2009 16:47

i weigh around 134-137 right now, so i'm a healthy weight (barely), which is still good.. but due to bad money prioritizing (i keep spending all my allowance on movies and recreation stuff, instead of food), mostly living on my own, and pure laziness.. i've been eating so poorly. i've basically lived off of coffee, water with crystal light, peanut butter sandwiches, and candy for the last 2 months.. NOT GOOD. although, i've been great with going to the gym as planned.

i feel so tired and run-down all the time; i have no energy; i'm irritable; and i keep getting sick, which i never used to.

so, starting now (even though i've eaten almost all of my daily calories in starbursts and peanut butter sandwiches..), i'm getting back on the healthy eating track.

only 14-17 lbs to lose :)

let's do ittt!

helllo 200 lbs -_-
Oct 11 2009 12:16

no, i'm not actually 200 lbs. but thanksgiving weekend = not good calorie-wise.

i left for the cottage friday morning weighing like 136 lbs, and i'm coming home tomorrow afternoon/evening, but i'm probably gonna weigh like 140 lbs -_-

oh well, how many times have i worked it off before? 293993 times? about that.. so i'm not worried, it'll come off in a few days.

oh well, i've done worse.. and my goal date isn't until september 2010, and i'm only trying to get to 120 lbs, so i've got tons of time. happy canadian thanksgiving everyone!

woo?
Sep 15 2009 16:12

i haven't binged in almost a month. i haven't been able to go binge-free for a month in almost 3 years.. so i guess that's a good sign. things life-wise haven't been the best lately (they never are), and i've had strong urges to stuff myself to the brim with food, but i've beaten the urge everytime.

a few days ago i weighed 137 lbs, and despite working out and eating right/not too much, i've still managed to get back up to 139-140 this morning. wtf?  i HATE gaining weight for no reason!

ugh, i just want to steadily and quickly lose weight. wouldn't that be nice?