foffles's Journal

Another fun quarter...
Nov 25 2009 09:15

Looks like I've got another busy quarter ahead of me.

Monday/Wednesday:
8:00 - 12:30: Work
1:30 - 2:35: Statistics
4:10 - 5:50: PC Networking 1

Tuesday/Thursday:
8:00 - 3:00: Work
4:10 - 5:25: Managing the Software Development Process
6:05 - 7:45: Technology-Based Ventures

Friday:
8:00 - 12:30: Work
1:30 - 2:35: Statistics

I'm excited because it's a little lighter course load than I had this past quarter. On the down side, that's 27.5 hours at work and not exactly alot of study/homework time. :/ We'll see how it goes. After the first few weeks, I may cut a work day from my schedule to make things easier on myself.

Living arrangement decissions... O.o
Oct 30 2009 11:21

So... I'm currently a 21 year old college student living at home. I love my family and appriciate all they've done for me, but I've been thinking... when's the best time to move out?

Options I've been concidering:

• Right now... well, not literally this second, but in a week. Dumb idea... but with everything that's going on, it's tempting...
• At the end of the year - I should have some money saved up by then and I can get a loan to cover the rest.
• 2-4 weeks before graduation - I'd love to celebrate my birthday in my own (well, me and my boyfriend's own) place. That would be the best present ever.
• Immediately after graduation - like the next day/within a week. I should have a job, as my current job has hinted at hiring me on full time when I graduate. And with the fact that I'm a female in a male dominated field, will have 2 years experience in my field, am going to graduate with a ~3.5 GPA, and will have a BS over a BA, I should be able to find something.
• A couple months after graduation - probably the 'smartest' choice so that I can save up for a bit right after school, get the whole financial security thing going for me before I move out... and my parents are actually encouraging this option.

So, why don't I go with the smart option and save up for a bit before I move out? Well, for one thing, I'm in love. Yes, I know, being 21 years old and thinking I've found the love of my life is naive, but I know that we just fit together. And I'd really like to see how things work with us living together. And my parents are getting a bit overbearing (I'm the only kid 'in the nest' - my younger sister moved out a year and a half go) and trying to restrict my time with him. I know that it's mostly because they love me and want to spend more time with me, but I only see him for a few hours on the weekend as it is. Another reason for wanting to move in together - we could be perfectly happy now, but realize we're crud together when it's just the 2 of us together for long periods of time.

Another thing - my house rules are a bit extreme. I have a 7:30 curfew on week nights... yes, a 21 year old college senior with a 7:30 curfew. On the weekends, it used to be midnight, but they've given in a little on that one - mostly because I never got in at midnight. I get that my parents go to bed early and that I have to be quiet because the dog (my mom's dog >.>) is loud when she is woken up, but... ugh. Luckily, my dad seems to agree that my mom can go a bit overboard and knows that I want some kind of social life outsode them and has helped get me a little more leaway...

I'm not a rambunctious kid... I'm generally well mannered, say my pleases and thank yous, donate money to needy causes... I'm a good girl.

But, I'm also a college student. And I want to feel like an actual college student! I want to live out my college years while I still have some left (only 8 months til I'm out of college). I know it's probably selfish... but I don't generally do alot for myself, and this is something I really want.

My mom also told me that we would talk about me moving into the dorms my junior year... yeah, never happened. She doesn't even like the idea of me moving out when I graduate. We're constantly getting into little fights now, usually about nothing. And I don't want things to get as bad between us as they got between my sister and my mom before my sister left. Sure, things have gotten better between them, but it's not the same anymore.

My mom's also gotten into the habit of trying to guilt me. Stuff like "we just paid $$$ for your tuition". The problem is, I've been guilt-tripped so many times, it only makes me angry, not feeling guilty.

She also likes to point out that she 'controls' me. She has literally said "I control you". That's generally what makes me angreest about this whole thing. I already have control issues... and seriously, wouldn't it make you want to leave if someone told you they control you?

There was also the agreement when I started college that as long as I continued to qualify for my scholorship (if I stay above a 3.0, the school pays about 1/3 my college), I would not need to get a job. Then I had to get a job. Then I had to get a better job and pay for my books and stuff. I don't really mind paying, it's just that she still tries the guilting and everything else on top of this...

I guess I just don't want to be a 22 year old college graduate with a 7:30 curfew that never got to 'live it up' in college because she was at home when everyone else was having fun...

... but I don't want to be an unappriciative brat either. I really do love my parents. And I do appriciate that they've gotten me through college without loans.

What to do...

Finding time.
Sep 16 2009 12:20

Hmm... trying to come up with a schedule again, since I've started school... I'm going to really try to get back into exercising. I have no excuse not to and it's time to focus again.

Monday / Wednesday:
6:30 - Wake up, take a shower
7:00 - Get dressed/brush teeth/etc
7:15 - Take dog out, get breakfast/lunch together, finish getting ready
7:30 - Leave for work
8:00 - Arrive at work
3:00 - Leave work, head to school
4:00 - Go to Social Implications of Computing
5:30 - Leave school, head home
6:00 - Get home, make dinner, check email, watch shows with mom or dad
8:30 - DDR (exercise) for an hour
9:30 - Finish checking email, talk with boyfriend, work on homework
12:00 - Bed

Tuesday
6:30 - Wake up, take a shower
7:00 - Get dressed/brush teeth/etc
7:15 - Take dog out, get breakfast/lunch together, finish getting ready
7:30 - Leave for school
8:00 - Arrive at school
8:30 - Go to Chemistry
9:45 - Leave Chem, go to mom's work/errands/etc
4:00 - Go to Database Management
6:00 - Go to Computer Engeneering Management
7:30 - Head Home
8:00 - Arrive at home, eat dinner
8:30 - DDR (exercise) for an hour
9:30 - Finish checking email, talk with boyfriend, work on homework
12:00 - Bed

Thursday
6:30 - Wake up, take a shower
7:00 - Get dressed/brush teeth/etc
7:15 - Take dog out, get breakfast/lunch together, finish getting ready
7:30 - Leave for school
8:00 - Arrive at school
8:30 - Go to Chemistry
9:45 - Leave Chem, go to Chem lab
2:00 - Leave Chem Lab, Get food/do homework/etc
4:00 - Go to Database Management
6:00 - Go to Computer Engeneering Management
7:30 - Head Home
8:00 - Arrive at home, eat dinner
8:30 - DDR (exercise) for an hour
9:30 - Finish checking email, talk with boyfriend, work on homework
12:00 - Bed

Friday:
6:30 - Wake up, take a shower
7:00 - Get dressed/brush teeth/etc
7:15 - Take dog out, get breakfast/lunch together, finish getting ready
7:30 - Leave for work
8:00 - Arrive at work
5:00 - Leave work
6:00 - Rest of day/evening with boyfriend

Saturday/Sunday:
Could be anything... Though, ususally, Saturday = boyfriend/friend/family time, Sunday = family/Sister's Wedding/homework time.

Hopefully, this will work out. If I stick to my schedule, I'll be well on my way to losing weight again, rather than this dreaded gaining/losing the same few pounds. Hopefully we can find time to grocery shop Saturday morning (before  my boyfriend's birthday party) or Sunday. I want to get back into healthy eating. Moderation + decent/poor eaing just isn't working for me anymore. I worked hard to lose the weight I've lost and I want to keep going.

Well, back to work for me. Later all.

- Foffles

One Hundred and Sixty Four!
Aug 17 2009 16:47

164! That is my goal. That is my focus. That is what I am concentrating on with my whole being.

Why 164 you may ask? Well, what happens when I reach 164?

• My BMI will have gone down just shy of 3, from 27.8 to 24.9 (currently at 25.8).
• I will be at a "healthy" weight, rather than "mildly overweight" (currently still "mildly overweight").
• I will be 1 lb shy of losing 20 lbs! Which I never believed I would get to (currently lost 13 lbs).

With only 6 pounds to go, I really think I can do it. And if I lose ~1 lb a week, I'll lose it before my sister's wedding (October 17). I'm going to be her Maid of Honor, so I'd really like to look my best. And a lot of family and friends I havn't seen in a while will be there. I want to show off the new, lighter me.

Eventually, I would like to get into the 150s, maybe mid-upper 140s, but I'm not worried about that. Right now, I just want to reach 164. Think I can do it?

Female ~ 21 ~ 5'8''
SW: 183 (6/23/2009)
CW: 170 (8/17/2009)
CGW: 164 (before 10/17/2009)
FGW: 145-150 (before 5/24/2010)
CBMI: 25.8 (mildly overweight)
GBMI: 18.5 - 24.9 (normal)
Current intake vs burn: 1300/1900

Why I'm not losing weight.
Jul 23 2009 11:20

Hello. My name is Foffles and I am a foodaholic.

I have been gaining and losing the same few pounds for the last 2 weeks. I feel it's way to early for me to have hit a plateu, so I need to look into what needs to be changed. I really want to lose the weight. I know the benifits of losing weight and I'm doing it for myself. This is important to me and I will make it happen. That being said, I'm going to write out the main reasons I am having trouble and go from their.

• Binge Eating: I am a binge eater by nature, especially when I'm not feeling well. For example, last night, instead of eating the frozen dinner I had planed for the night at about 240 calories (with bread for about 90 calories), I had a WHOLE medium pizza for 800-900 calories.  Not one of my better moments.
• Stress: I stress. Ask anyone that knows me and they'll all agree. I stress over everything. This really can't be good for me...
• Poor Exercise Habits: Up until I started trying to gain weight, I never exercised. Now I do DDR but have a tendency to skip out.
• Lack of Sleep: I get an average of 5-6 hours of sleep a night during the week (anywhere from 6-10 on weekends) and that's not really healthy, whether you are trying to lose weight or not. Between school, work, my family, and my boyfriend, I just can't find the time.

Now that I've listed some of my problems, I need to figure out what to do about them.

• Binge Eating: This one isn't as much of a problem as it used to be. Since starting counting calories, I've only had the one real binge-fest, and have been pretty good about the rest of the time. Just need to be more carefulwhen I'm sick, and stay away from food that makes me binge.
• Stress: Hmm... not really sure what to do about this, stressing is in my nature. I try to let some of it go, but that usually ends in more stress. Maybe if I try scheduling everything I have to do, it'll aleviate some of my stress... if I know what I have to do when.
• Poor Exercise Habits: If I schedule in exercise time too, maybe that'll work? If I've already told myself I'm doing something, I can't very well not do it.
• Lack of Sleep: Uhh... well, I have to stay up til atleast 11:30, and wake up no later than 6:30. Maybe if I schedule in the afternoon, until I get a saner schedule, that will at laest keep me awake through class...

So... I think my goal right now is to put together a schedule and keep it. Let's see... I could try:

Monday / Wednesday:
6:30 - Wake up, take a shower
7:00 - Get dressed/brush teeth/etc
7:15 - Take dog out, get breakfast/lunch together, finish getting ready
7:30 - Leave for work
8:00 - Arrive at work
5:00 - Leave work, head to school
6:00 - Go to class
7:30 - Leave school, head home
8:00 - Get home, make dinner, check email
8:30 - DDR (exercise) for an hour
9:30 - Finish checking email, talk with boyfriend, work on homework
11:30 - Bed

Tuesday / Thursday:
6:30 - Wake up, take a shower
7:00 - Get dressed/brush teeth/etc
7:15 - Take dog out, get breakfast/lunch together, finish getting ready
7:30 - Leave for work
8:00 - Arrive at work
5:00 - Leave work
5:30 - Arrive at home, eat dinner, watch shows with mom
8:00 - Check email
8:30 - DDR (exercise) for an hour
9:30 - Finish checking email, talk with boyfriend, work on homework
11:30 - Bed

Friday:
6:30 - Wake up, take a shower
7:00 - Get dressed/brush teeth/etc
7:15 - Take dog out, get breakfast/lunch together, finish getting ready
7:30 - Leave for work
8:00 - Arrive at work
2:00 - Leave work
3:00 - Rest of day/evening with boyfriend

Saturday/Sunday:
Could be anything...

Umm... well, we'll see how that works. Feel free to leave any advice or suggestions. Later.

- Foffles

Almost a month in...
Jul 21 2009 12:43

Hey guys! I havn't posted in a week, so I figured I'd stop by, say hi. So how are you all doing? ... *silence* ... Uh huh... so I guess I get to be the talkative one this time. Ok then, so... eating's going good aside from fairly high sugar levels. Most of that's from fruit though, so that's ok for now. Umm.. school's ok, work's ok, family's ok, boyfriend's great. :) Everything's going good right now. A little more stressed than I'd like and some sleep would be nice, but I've got a 4 day weekend coming up in 3.5 weeks and 2 weeks off coming up a week after that. I'll be nice to finally relax for a bit...

So... speaking on that, I have no idea what to do with my 2 weeks off.... Right now, I'm thinking I could...

• Go to the cabins an hour from my house and stay there for a few days. Bring my boyfriend plus a few friends and enjoy the calm peacefulness. Plus, my boyfriend is dieing to go hike, and this would be his chance.
• Fly to Las Vegas for a week with my boyfriend. My sister lives in Vegas and invited me and my boyfriend to come visit her when I have time off. This would be a complete blast, but also a lot harder to watch my calories than if I stayed at the cabins, where we'd bring our own food. Plus, the longer it takes her to find out when we can come, the more expensive it will be to fly out there.
• Road Trip! I was thinking it'd be a lot of fun to go on a road trip with my boyfriend and 2-3 of our good friends. Kind of expensive, but what fun that would be. No clue where we'd go though....

Yeah, no clue what we're going to do though. I know I want to spend as much time with my boyfriend as possible, concidering we only see eachother 2 days a week right now and it will be as often or less once school starts.

So, I said I'd post my stats every once in a while... here they are.

Female ~ 21 ~ 5'8''
SW: 183 (6/23/2009)
CW: 175.5 (7/21/2009)
GW: 140-145
CBMI: 26.6 (mildly overweight)
GBMI: 18.5 - 24.9 (normal)
Current intake vs burn: 1300/1930 + ~500 for DDR

7.5 lbs down. Not quite as much as I was hoping concidering I lost alot of that the first week and slowed down conciderably since, but I guess progress is progress. I'm just really hoping to be in the 160's soon and into the "healthy" BMI category. Maybe at the end of next month, I'll be "healthy". *crosses fingers* Later all!

- Foffles

Flavor
Jul 14 2009 12:57

I don't know if anyone else has noticed this when they go to a healthier diet, but... when I first started dieting, everything tasted kind of bland. But now that I've been at it for nearly a month, everything tastes ok. And unhealthy food.. OMG the flavor! I had a Wendy's grilled chiken sandwich without the sause yesturday before class... wow. The chicken was incredible, the bread was to die for... Yumm.

I think I can continue on with healthy food, but now I know why I need to avoid fast food. Any more experiences like the flavor explosion yesturday, and... there goes my diet. I'm not even going to dare tempt my will power with Burger King... I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet. Best just keep away from them. In the long run, it's better to deny myself what I crave now, then be unhappy with myself in the future.

*drools*...

So, yeah, enough of that. Hope everyone out there's doing well with their choice to become healthier. I've been doing a few challenges to keep focused, but I really need to get more exercise if I'm going to continue losing as much as I want. I've been doing DDR but have just not had the energy lately... I also tried to add in some sit ups and push ups to work the rest of my body more. Sit ups arn't bad, but wow... I completely lost the ability to do push ups... I'll have to work on that...

Later All.

- Foffles

Grr...
Jul 13 2009 13:58

Getting a little frustrated... my weight loss is going ok... I've lost an average of 1/3 a pound a day, which is faster than I was expecting, but I have been working really hard. I'm having issues with patience on it, but I didn't gain the weight in a day, I can't lose it that quickly either...

I have plenty of support. My boyfriend tells me all the time that he loves me as I am, and will love me however I look. He supports my weight loss because it's what I want, not because he says I need to change and I love that about him. My mom's very supportive too. She's been making low calorie dinners for us on nights that I don't have school so that I'm nt as outcasted in eating different foods. She's diabtic and overweight, so she knows what it's like to be working at losing weight, so I can turn to her for that. My best friend... ok, that's where the frustration sets in...

I've mentioned her being an issue before, if you've read some of my other posts... well, the other day, me, my boyfriend, her boyfriend, her boyfriend's brother, and her boyfriend's mother went into the resteraunt where she works to get dinner and visit her. When we were ordering our meals, I got the rather sensible grilled chicken with 2 sides of broccolli. Her boyfriend's brother asked "did you want cheese on that?" and before I could respond, she replied "No, that adds points" in a snooty voice.

I can eat cheese if I freaking want cheese!!! ... sorry, it's just frustrating. I ended up not eating anything after dinner (it was more of a late lunch) and only ate 600 calories that day. 1000 the next day. I'm trying to be good and bump it back up to my 1500 ish level I'm supposed to be at. I just don't see how she thinks she has the nerve to say what I can and can't eat, especially since she's been so unsupportive the whole time I've been trying this... And then, she decides it's ok to go on every night and tell me about her day like she's the greatest...

... Sorry. I don't mean to rant. I'm just tired of having to fight my insane food cravings and my best friend at the same time. And now I really want cheese...

- Foffles

Plans for my 1st major goal...
Jul 09 2009 10:39

If I keep up with my loss of a little over 2 lbs a week average for the next 5 weeks I'll be in the "normal" weight category by Gencon. It's this huge gaming convention in Indianapolis and I really want to go. We've gone for the last 2 years, so it would be great to go again. And to be "normal sized" while I'm at it? That would be a dream come true! And it'll only take 2lbs a week to do it? I think I can accomplish that. I probably won't be seeing a few friends until then, so it'd be awesome to show off my trimmer look to them. A little vain sounding I know... but I need this. I need something to work for and this lines up so nicely. :)

A week or so after that, I'll be (hopefully) flying out to Las Vegas to see my sister, so if nothing else, I want to reach my goal by then. That would be just as nice.

I guess that means I've got to keep up with this, and push a little harder on exercising. But, I'm starting to believe in myself and think this could really be possible. I have the support of a wonderful family and an amazing boyfriend. I can do this... I hope.

A few more baby steps...
Jul 07 2009 11:37

One step at a time, I'm getting healthier. After a yo yo of weights this weekend, I'm back on the loosing path. :) 5.5 lbs down, 32.5 to go. It's not much loss, but I'm not going to give this up.

I made a major change yesturday by simply cleaning out my desk at work. It's where I have the biggest problem keeping my diet because no one keeps me accountable there. So, I removed my beloved Milano cookies (I miss you Raspberry, I miss you Mint! ), twizzlers, and other bits that are yummy but not healthy or filling. If I keep them at work, I'll just continue to rationalize that it's ok to have them in small quantities and soon... I'm over my limit. Well, no more. I've left some mixed nuts as a filling snack, poptarts in case I forget breakfast (horrible, but not as bad as the burger king right down the street), and a tuna kit in case I forget lunch. 

I have been really good about bringing lunch lately. Lots of fruits and vegis, as well as the occasionaly tuna. I need more ideas, but I can't go grocery shopping til Sunday, so I'll make due with what I can.

Another change is that I've been doing more exercise. I do DDr whenever I'm awake enough to handle it and I take the stairs at work.... ok, I use them to go downstairs. If I wasn't always running late in the morning, I'd take them up too. I'll work extra hard this week to get hereearly enough to spend the time walking upstairs too. I've also taken up parking in a far-ish parking spot at work to add on a little extra walking.

I've also been making deals with myself as far as weight loss. Right now it's "Ok... you can have that 60 calorie puding snack... AFTER you finish the bottle of water on your desk and go refill it". I know that probably sounds really sad, but I need to learn limits, and if someone tells me what to do, I stick to it. Even if that someone has to be me... Tonight, I'm not going to let myself play on the computer until I spend half an hour studying for my exam while doing sit ups or push ups. And I'll only let myself have sorbet tonight if I put in half an hour of DDR. I know it kind of sounds like I'm punishing myself, but I'm just trying to meet multiple goals at once and can't afford the bad if I'm not willing to take on the good... or something like that.

Welp, I just refilled my water, so it's time for some chocolate vanilla swirl. Later.

- Foffles