freakyblonde88's Journal
Recovery realistic??Sep 03 2009 17:57
I know we're supposed to stay positive and motivating on this site. But I've come to the point where I don't even believe that I can ever recover from ED's. And the stupid thing is I eat more now and binge like I NEVER used to now that I've lost the weigh I wanted to... 2years ago I weighed 20pounds more then I do now, and I only wanted to lose ten but have lost between 18-20... And I should be thrilled, but lately I've been binging on about 4000-7000 kcals everyday, to the point of pain in my stomach so bad that I can hardly stand, and of course that brings with it a purge. and that happens 1-3 or 4 times in a day.
I don't understand, I'm studying what I love, I live with the most wonderful guy who I've wanted to be with for over a year... Isn't an ED supposed to be a sign of something being wrong..? everything seems to be so right, except this ED.
And I want to find a therapist or something, but it's not like they're advertized everywhere, I don't have a GP, since I recently moved here. How has anyone else found someone to help them..?? I need someone to talk to/help me.
And I've decided that it's no longer my bf's problem, he's more lost then I am about this whole thing. So I don't wanna have to tell him anything about it ever again... And I'm starting to find it so embarressing.
hey HUN I know exactly how u feel!!! I have everything I've ever wanted in my life: a beautiful husband, our own home, a good job etc etc but yet I have this awful awful ED and you just wonder why???!!!! I've seen tonnes of therapists and nutritionists over the years and personally haven't found any to be helpful. However the best way to find one is to google counsellors or therapists in your area and then email them and ask if they specialise in EDs or if they can recommend someone who does. i too don't talk to my husband about my ED, it just upsets him and he really doesn't understand so it's just something I have to deal with on my own ya know. i don't have the magic answer, but just want u to know you're not alone and u can message me any time :) |
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