frehug's Journal

I'm back

or at least trying to be back...I regained some weight back...I'm kinda scared to get on the scale again to really see how much...but it is getting kinda crazy

I changed jobs, moved, almost broke up with the boyfriend for good...life changes

But things are better now...much better and I need to give this present to myself for my birthday because I want to look fabulous

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I finally saw 180 on the scale!!!  hopefully after this week I will be in a new club, the 170's!!!  I know I said I wasnt gonna buy any more jeans but my rubbed holes near the crotch in two of my old pair(boo hoo but no more of that in the future) So I had to replace them.  they are no expensive, old navy only 30 bucks, but they are a size smaller than previously tried on whoo hoo!!!  When I get down to my goal weight, expensive curve hugging, design pocketed to attract attention to the dereon jeans I come!!!

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I am really at a low. I haven't lost any weight in 4 weeks..since I went on vacation. My eating habits have been seriously slacker...this I know but I have still been exercising like before. I really want to cry. I will not reach my goal by June 30th. I still need to lose about 27 lbs. I hate how strict I have to be to lose. Like write down everything I eat. I feel so defeated. It is so hard to do this when those around me say oh you look fine and my boyfriend says that he will love me either way. I know I have to do this for me but still. Do I have the willpower to reach my goals? I know I have been really slack but still...i wasn't doing anything before and now I exercise and nothing. I really have a love affair with food. It is my life literally...I'm a chef!!! They say never trust a skinny chef. I don't want to be skinny...I just want to shop in non-big girl stores. I refuse to buy clothes in those stores. I always said that was my limit. Summer is getting here really fast and I have little hope for my white bathing suit!!!

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I am getting a food journal that I can keep in my purse and log all the time when I feel a craving...or just want to cheat...to help me stay accountable

With warmer weather coming I will try to exercise at every turn...that means for me to add a walk before work...about 20 mins everyday//unless I am late or it is raining...Rain is very possible but me running late...hardly ever!!!

I will eat better...like try to incorporate more vegetables and whole grains...I need more fiber so I can get regular!!!

I think am at 181 which is 10 lbs down from my start Feb1st but still I want more to come off!!! 

I do want to look good this summer...I started weight training classes twice a week so that might be why I haven't really lost much...I want to be fit and toned when I go to my alma mater's homecoming in Nov!!!  That is more than 30 weeks away!!!  If I only lose 1lb a week I can get past my goal weight of 155...And I think that I will work harder than 1lb a week plus my weight training should seriously be in full gear by then!!!  Ok...a new goal!!  And it is attainable!!!

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I'm going on vacation, which in my world means escaping this Chicago weather for the mild days in North Carolina to see my family and friends.  Because this is a lifestyle change and not a **** I will keep up my workouts and eating habits.  I'm not gonna lie...I will probably have a banana milkshake from my favorite lunch counter in Chapel Hill where I went to college.  And I will probably eat a biscuit from Bojangles because I miss them so much.  BUT I wont go too overboard and only eat half a milkshake and not eat the whole milkshake and a double chesse burger with fries like I used to and eat 1 plain and one cinnamon raisin biscuit with a large sweet tea.  Hell, no wonder I gained so much weight over the years.  I ate those milkshakes like twice a week and I all through high school and college I went to Bojangles at least 3 times EVERY WEEK!!!  And ate fried chicken!!!  The south is no joke when it comes to full fat food.  I have a plan and will keep uo with it.  I will make helathy choices when I do go out to eat and I will probably have dessert but I will share it and not have one by myself!!!  Wish me luck!!!

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I just told someone that spring always brings new beginnings

 SO I'm gonna make a new beginning with my weight loss.

I am going to drink at least 64 oz of water a day up to 96 oz

I will eat 2 vegetables every day

I will eat at least 15 g of fiber a day...I know this is low but it higher than where I usually am

I will exercise at least 4 times every week and do strength training at least twice a week

I will tell someone I love them everyday...excluding the boyfriend

I will get more sleep...at least 6.5 hours...I usually get about 5

 

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I know every other day I am complaining about not eating well.. well this time it shows because at my weigh in today I gained a pound!!!  It might have something to do with all the salt I had before bed last night but still...I'm doing good with my exercise and even doing weight training...My food intake has been poor at best. 

I want to eat more vegetables.  I love fresh fruit and eat enough grains.  I want more fiber...

I am going to win this battle...the battle of the bulge!!!

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So I have read the book Skinny Bitch.  Even though I dont want to adapt to a vegan lifestyle the book was funny and I took some good info from it.  I'm losing weight...thats good but I'm still eating a lot of crap.  Even though I usually stay under my cal allowance for the day...the food is still crap.  I hardly ever eat enough veggies in a day.  I do well on fruits and whole grains which I would never eat before.  I eat some meat but I still feel like it is crap.  The change is not just about weight loss...its also about living the way I want to for the rest of my life, which means eating better food.  I keep blaming my non-veggie intake on the season but still...I want to do better.  I could like so be happy if I could consistently eat 3 servings of veggies a day.  How can I do this?  Maybe I'll research some good veggie recipes...

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Ok so I notice a pattern.  On my days off work I want to eat tacos, my current favorite food.  I also want an Oreo Ice cream bar which isnt that bad if I dont have any other snacks that day.  I eat under my calories for the day and still eat what I want.  My nutrition is ok, could be better if I ate more veggies but Its kind hard since I have to cook them they way I want and I'm not home during normal hours.  I need to plan better.  Regardless my clothes feel better and looser and the BF said he notices it too!!!

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My green day went ok I guess.  I did cheat some as I have two pieces of whole wheat toast with smart balance and jam with my green fruit this morning.  then I had a boiled egg, 2 bacon slices and red onion with my spinach salad today as well.  I did very well for dinner with broccoli and green beans.  I am at work and I am sleepy right now. Trying to stay awake.   I had guacamole with baked lays for a snack and a cup of green tea.  I have to eat the rest of my green food tomorrow before it goes bad, like the kiwi and such.  I didnt find green pistachios though.  I need to get back in the gym.  I packed a bag so I can go right after work early in the morning!!!  Trying to get back on the grind.  I've been sleeping in-lately instead of working out.  Dont want my progress to go away. 

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