frehug's Journal

Pity party...lost nothing in 4 weeks
Apr 12 2008 17:29

I am really at a low. I haven't lost any weight in 4 weeks..since I went on vacation. My eating habits have been seriously slacker...this I know but I have still been exercising like before. I really want to cry. I will not reach my goal by June 30th. I still need to lose about 27 lbs. I hate how strict I have to be to lose. Like write down everything I eat. I feel so defeated. It is so hard to do this when those around me say oh you look fine and my boyfriend says that he will love me either way. I know I have to do this for me but still. Do I have the willpower to reach my goals? I know I have been really slack but still...i wasn't doing anything before and now I exercise and nothing. I really have a love affair with food. It is my life literally...I'm a chef!!! They say never trust a skinny chef. I don't want to be skinny...I just want to shop in non-big girl stores. I refuse to buy clothes in those stores. I always said that was my limit. Summer is getting here really fast and I have little hope for my white bathing suit!!!